The reason I stopped
Now that summer is over and we're heading into fall, I tested a theory this summer. Like many of you, I had to put the gift giving and being nice to a halt.
Last summer I planned and paid for so many things for the Skids to do that I never made time to go get my nails done, or even hang out with friends. All I asked for was a simple thank you. Each time DH would have to say, "guys what do you say?" They would say in unison a dry "thank you."
It's been about a week that I have been part of this helpful and wonderful site. I revisited why I stopped the gift giving and taking them places. It was the last gift I gave. SS15 had graduated from JH. I didn't give him his gift until the end of the summer. His choosing of course. It was the way he said thank you. The smile was condescending, and the tone was brazen. While it may have been coming from my heart, he certainly wasn't saying thank you with his. So at that moment I stopped.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I am grown, make my own money, and most of all I don't have to wait for my daddy to take me places. I honestly thought DH would have planned things for them to do for the sumner. They went one place. Meanwhile, I was out and about. It felt good.
Birthdays and Christmas came and this SM darn sure didn't ask what they wanted. I actually felt free and emancipated. I know that probably sounds strange.
I know I am just rambling, but I had to get that off my chest. I used to want Skids to realize that I was the reason why they went so many places, now I don't care.
I will continue to make plans for me and DH, or just for me.
It's still your DH fault for
It's still your DH fault for not teaching or parenting his kids to do the normal things in life, i.e. A Thank You!!!
Or somehow convey to SK that you do a lot for them.
Or two SK just don't care ???
Harry you're right. My mom
Harry you're right. My mom and I had that very conversation last night. She said it makes her angry that DH won't parent/teach his children. He claims he did tell them that, but honestly I doubt it. Only because it kept happening. I know as a kid, my parents had me write thank you notes. So I learned to never take someone's kindness for granted. Sadly, they do it to their grandparents (paternal, DH mom has lectured them about it, but as you stated, they don't care.
We have one that's ungrateful
We have one that's ungrateful and unappreciative. I do as little as possible for him.
He doesn't even recognize it because he steam rolls over everyone and does whatever he wants anyway.
I'm waiting for the day he gets his bell rung for being such an inconsiderate demanding jerk.
I've seen the way he shows gratitude and respect to the actual parents. I call it when I see it but ultimately I'm not raising him. I see nobody slowing the entitlement train. It's gross.
Fingers crossed he proves me wrong but I expect to have a lifetime of witnessing his ungrateful attitude. Oh joy.
I am waiting for the same
I am waiting for the same thing. I told DH they aren't going to have many friends if they continue that sort of behavior. Entitlement train...oh they are on that too. They want the world for birthdays and holidays, they don't even call their dad on his birthday. Most times he doesn't even get a card. Their grandmother got on them about that. You think they took heed to her words? If you guessed no you guessed right.
I too had stopped buying for
I too had stopped buying for my SS's. They never appreciated anything I ever did for them and they complained about the gifts they did get. So I stopped. I no longer bothered to get Christmas, birthday or any gifts. The nice easter baskets I used to make them...Stopped. The Halloween treats....stopped. It has been several years now and I don't even know if they noticed.
I put my money back and make sure and use it to visit my BS and spoil him. He appreciates it.
I often wonder if they do
I often wonder if they do notice. I think they want to ask us but might be afraid of what we will say. Skids know how they treat us.
I don't think skids are the
I don't think skids are the only ones that know how they treat us...
I still laugh at how please and thank you means they're being polite even when it's said in the nastiest tone ever. They're so embarrassing it's almost comical.
My go-to is some variation of "I was raised differently."
Exactly! Tones are filled
Exactly! Tones are filled with nastiness. Yes it's very embarrassing. DH has the mindset at least they said thank you. Yeah....no.....they are rude.
oh yes, I've stopped to, for
oh yes, I've stopped to, for the most part.
SDs are pretty ok but still, the entitlement is still there and DH often just sits back.
So they get a reasonable gift card from me and that's it.
This year I'm not even doing stocking stuffers (last year for Xmas I did one gift card and stocking stuffers).
And I'm also not initiating any holiday decorations or doing ANY cookie making activities (but for a big batch of my favorites that will get distributed at work) at all.
Not my issue.
The entitlement alone gives
The entitlement alone gives good reason to stop. I am just amazed at how they really think or thought my doing nice things for them was mandatory.