Did you have to deal with the ex-wife being at your wedding reception?
Hi:
Is there anybody out there who was faced with the ex-wife picking up a little kid from your wedding reception?
Until about six weeks ago, I was with the idea of the ex- picking up my little SS at our wedding reception (which will be next Saturday!). Then she really p*ssed me off with a couple of comments and I haven't wanted her anywhere near us that day since. We have the option of someone taking the little guy home to his mommy from our reception early, but there's a possiblity that she might come pick him up outside the hall. I DREAD the scenario of my finace having to listen for his cell phone, talking to her, having to interrupt something with our guests, having to see HER on OUR wedding day, and her turning it into a 15 minute visit.
I told my fiance that since we have the option of someone taking SS home, I'd prefer it. I'm not going to make a scene if it doesn't happen that way, but I will be disappointed. That woman shouldn't even be a blip on our radar that day, let alone cause an interruption in our party. WHY would she even WANT to come pick up SS? His family certainly doesn't want her there. I don't hate her, but I don't want to see her that day, either.
Just wondered if anybody else was ever faced with anything like this...
SMIT 
- SMIT's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Why can't your SS stay for
Why can't your SS stay for the party? Oh yeah I forgot biomom probably wants nothing to do with her son being at the party... In my opinion, if she wants to pick him up that day let her do it, you and your husband just to ignore her so you don't get caught up in a scene with her. She's the one who is going to look foolish in front of everyone and not you. You'll still be the center of attention and the guests to look at her with disgussed, selfish and unreasonable to take the son away from an important event like this. Don't let her get to you, if she causes a scene call a the security to kick her out.
He's only 4 years old and won't get a nap that day...
We're having SS taken home early becuase he won't get a nap and will be worthless by early evening, if he even lasts that long. Our ceremony is at his regular nap time and the momentum will keep him going, but once he starts to crash, it'll get ugly... so we're planning on getting him back to his mother, somehow, right after dinner. If he was just a little older and not so reliant on the nap, we'd want him to dance the night away with everybody else.
SMIT
Welcome to our world!
It gets easier, or at least I try to tell myself that. My advice is, communicate with your husband about your feelings (gently of course)and work out a plan together that makes you feel comfortable. Talk about your fears, and address them. Sometimes the Ex is going to have to be there, this might be one of those times. Your husband can lay out some boundaries, or maybe it would be better to have someone else take care of the "pick up" for you. I can TOTALLY relate. My husband's ex wanted to attend my husband's grandfather's funeral. We talked about it, and my husband, taking my feelings into consideration, and also his own, decided to tell her that she was not welcome, and to please show respect for our family and not attend. Hope this helps.
I also forgot to say...
THANK YOU for the support! You're right that she'll be the one to look foolish if she comes to get our little boy. Who in her right mind would want to do that?
Here's what we did
My stepson was 5 yrs. old when we got married. He was the ring bearer. We made out ahead of time with biomom that stepson would get dropped off the next day at her house. Stepson stayed and partied the night away and had a blast. Then he went home with my husband's sister and spent the night and got dropped off as planned.
It worked out well because we had to make sure that stepson's tux got back to the rental place and who knows if that would have happened if he went straight to biomom's house after the wedding!!!
Not to mention that we left on our honeymoon the morning after the wedding. We went to Jamaica!
Everything worked out smoothly!! I hope everything goes well for you!!
Dawn
Avoid the Drama
Have someone else pick your SS up and bring him to his mother. If I were the biomom, I wouldn't want to come to my ex's wedding day - I don't think it would be fair to him and his new fiance/wife. Good luck and Congrats!