Does your SS want to go to his mom's when he's sick? Some kids just like the care one parent offers over the other. Our situation - if the kid is sick on our day we deal with it and usually if the kid is sick on biomom's day we'd deal with it but now that SD is a little older she can be at biomom's house alone if biomom is at work or whatever.

My stepchildren are older but with my bio kids. It's a personality thing.. the girl would rather be sick at my/her house..but that's her nature.she likes to be in her own room, with her own stuff, she was always a home body..even when her father & I were together. The boy..doesn't really matter to him..where-ever he is Mom's or Dad's that's fine by him. They've never had much more than a head cold for the last 5 years so they've never called me to take them home because of illness..I certainly wouldn't insist on it either. I assume that if the girl wanted to be at home when she was sick that it wouldn't be a problem..if that is where she is most comfortable.

It's ironic as I write this it occurs to me that I (she)considers my place as her home...and she a visitor at her Dad's. At the same time...when my stepdaughter lived with us for a year..I would ask BF if she was considered a "visitor" or a "member of this family" because I had certain expectations of her...and I needed to clarify what her role was. I was frustrated that she did nothing around the house, etc., he doted on her like she was a guest.. (Frustration happens when the situation doesn't meet your expectations..so maybe my expectations were off?) In hindsight, I think she never really felt at home at our place, dispite all my tongue-biting, etc. Anyway, she moved out & it became a non-issue..I never did figure it out!
As a bio-mom I see it as a non-issue or a small issue..as I switch gears and picture the same senario with my stepchildren, as a step-mom my feelings would be hurt, I'm not good enough to look after them, but I'm good enough to do this..that, etc.

I feel a certain way as a bio-mom then I feel a certain way as a step-parent....it's all so confusing sometimes. I have alot on my plate to sort out between his x, my x, bio-kids, a 10 yr old with ADD, 13yr old girl, step-children, grandchildren, I'm glad I found this site to help see I'm not alone in feeling the way I do sometimes.

In regards to my stepkids being sick, they were on alternating two week visiting schedules, and had rooms at each home. So, if they were sick, they were just sick at either our house or their Mom's house. It actually worked out better because it kept the "germ warfare" confined. Normally, my stepkids were always sick at their mom's because of really poor housekeeping. And she also let me stepdaugher sleep with the dogs in her bed. That led to a lot of supposed "allergy" problems which could have been cleared up by using a vacuum, changing the sheets, and removing the dog from the bed. But, as I said, her housekeeping skills were nill. Her idea of curtains, was to throw a sheet over the rod and let it hang. Clearly, quite, classless.
Regards,
Sweetie

My stepson doesn't have a preference. He has been pretty healthy since he is here with us more. He used to be sick everytime we picked him up from biomom's house. What Sweetie said is true here too. Biomom is not a good housekeeper. Also, she doesn't feed her kids the most healthy food. Stepson even accused his mom's house of making him sick whenever he goes there. I also think her house has a mold problem. However, since stepson is there less, he gets sick less. The most he has had is a couple colds this year. In fact, he got perfect attendance at school!

Dawn