I can't believe your husband is taking this out on you, that is HIS own child. You are the stepmother. It's obvious he can't handle his own child. If you decide to stay w/this man, you need to sit him down and talk about these things that bother you. You both to be working together on this...you are a couple. If want to continue fixing the situation w/the stepchild & school issues, I would tell the teacher to hold all the papers until you get it from her/him, do not give it to the child. That way you'll get everything you need. This child needs major discipline. The 1st important thing is to decide what the status of you and your husband situation. Hope this helps.
-happy mom

I wonder, if his behavior toward you is typically hateful why do you stay? I'm also wondering what his reaction would be if you stated that he can handle things with the ss from now on, as he doesn't approve of how you do it. I would tell him that's what you're going to do, then follow through. Anything that concerns his son is his business. Maybe that will change his tune?

I would stop doing everything for his son. Make his dad take on the responsibility for his own. Let him deal with all that. The only way he is going to get your point is by dealing with it himself.
You did nothing wrong..
Funny story to try to make you smile..
My SD has lost I think 4 keys to our house. So one day my husband ask me do you have a key to the house. I said yeah, he said his daughter lost her key again. and made me give her mine. SO it wasn't but maybe a month later we left for somewhere and when we came home there was no power so my garage door opener would not work. AND he had also given his key to his daughter before mine because she lost hers. Point to my story is that when we could not get in he asked me where my front door key was and I said" Well remember last month when you made me give it to your daughter because she lost it? His jaw dropped.. And I said you know if you would make her be more responsible we would be in the house already.. He was mad but not at me..
I would make it his sole responsibility for his son from now on..
Be there but I would not be the full time parent..

KPAYNE,

First, your husband should never threathen divorce, over such a minor issue. It shows that he doesnt value your relationship. He needs to get better communication skills.

Second, you are the mother role model in that family, and although the child doesnt always do what you want him to do, or need him to do, hes only a child still. You have to take into consideration that he is only 10. I dont feel like its his fault at all that he didnt know what day school started this yr. Most kids that age dont. One of you 2 adults, should have called the school, or found out from another adult.

I can understand your issue of feeling like you are have sole resposibility of this child, and that you are doing everything, and the father isnt pulling his weight. But,getting the father to take more responsiblity is the real issue here.

As far as the child, not bringing home his school papers. Its up to a parent to call the school, and let the teacher/teachers know that the child isnt real good about delivering important paperwork home. Sit down and talk to the child, and tell him its very important that you get that work, and you know he can deliver it to you, because hes a smart kid. Positive reinforcement, with this child is what is going to work for you and your husband. Then if it continues, dont wait until 2 months to punish him. Start taking things away from him that he enjoys to do ie; video games, playing outside after school until he learns how important the things you ask of him are.

Im sorry, but im an honest person, and i tell it like it is. The situation you described (and i mean the situation with the child being the one responsible for knowing when school starts) wasn't fair to him, hes a child still. I have a 10 yr old and a 12 yr old, and although they know about what day school starts, they are never really sure. So i make sure i know when school starts!! You seem to be the only responsible adult in this childs life, and you need the be his advocate. Just because your husband doesnt recognize how important you are in this childs life, doesnt mean other people dont see.

Please dont feel like Im trying to play the blame game here, because Im not. I can see that without you, this child would be in bad shape. I know that this is frustrating to you, but its not the childs fault. Im sure he can sense your resentment, for taking all the responsibility for him. Maybe you can sit down with your husband and tell him that it takes 2 parents to raise a child/children, and you need him to take responsibility for his part. Set some boundries, and come to an agreement that both of you abide by, on what is best for this child, punishments and all. I just have a feeling that you are harboring resentment, because of your husband, and the child is suffering because of it.

I know you can do this. You have already stepped up to the plate with this child by raising him as your own. Good luck sweetie

In my opinion, if the 10 year old is living with you, then you should have gotten the end of the year papers. Are you guys the ones that register him for school? If not, why?
I do agree that at 10, he should be starting to be more responsible and should be bringing his papers home. It can't hurt to mention to the teacher that he is having this problem but I'm sure that at the end of the day, when papers are being put into book bags, the teacher has a lot going on and may not be able to go to each kid and tell them to bring home their papers.
We have this same problem with my stepson and it is a continual struggle to get all the info that we need. I check the school web site often to see when some activities are scheduled. Sometimes, though, a paper will be sent home on a day that stepson is going to biomom's house. Sometimes we get the info, sometimes we don't. If stepson misses out on something because either him or biomom didn't tell us about it, stepson needs to understand why.

Keep up the good work!

Dawn