I am so sorry to hear this. I think the main reason that 2nd marriages fail is the stress that the 1st marriage left for the 2nd to deal with. 

I'm sorry - your DH is being an idiot. But it still hurts to end a marriage.

Keep your head up Stepmom and know that this too shall pass and it's truly a blessing in disguise. I know how difficult divorce is so focus on the opportunity you will have to create a new beginning and in living your best life.

Chin up, you got this! Wishing you much healing & light.

I am sorry your marriage is ending in divorce. It hurts and it is going to hurt for a while. My step-life marriage went bust with me intiating  the divorce and it still hurt.
Sometimes there is too much baggage, resentment and fall-out from the previous marriage to make your marriage work... Hugs!!

I’m really sorry Stepmom2.0, this is really shotty news. Take care of & protect yourself as much as possible. Big big hugs

I'm sorry about this all but I hope you are protecting yourself. I'd recommend consulting with three top lawyers in your area on what you should do next.

I'm so sorry, Stepmom2.0. Please get yourself an excellent lawyer who will protect you. I also agree with seeking counseling. Wishing you the very best. {{{hugs}}}

I sat observing the full eclipse last weekend and thoughts about the changes in my life during 2018 drifted in and out. As the moon passed through the earth's shadow, I thought about the gloom-ridden times over the last year passing.  What often felt like an emotional eternity was an inevitable life progression. It happened. The shadow moved past. Time seemed irrelevant.  

The full eclipse was about an hour of cathartic review.  I felt gratitude for the changes and choices that ended many toxic situations over the last year. Moons wax and wane.  

If I could upload one of my cheesy phone-cam photos of holding the moon, I'd hand it to you from my heart and assure you that this painful situation is on the wane.  One day at a time....

Wishing you strength...take care of and love yourself.  Something better is on the wax. 

BIG ((((((  )))))) 

I separated and divorced 4 years ago.  It was a 1st marriage for me.  2nd for exDH.  Although I chose to leave, it was because exDH and his emmeshed relationship with exSD left me no choice.   I'm am thrilled to say that I'm happier now than I've ever been in my entire life.  I am now with a man who holds the same values and understands the definition of "partnership".  He has 2 teenaged children, however, he parents completely differently.

There is hope.

Also, even if I never would have found my current parnter, leaving that toxic relationship would still have been the right choice.

I am so sorry that your marriage is ending.  You mentioned the deck being stacked against you from the beginning and that may have been true.

But please don't accept any fault in that.  That baggage was someone else's to unpack and put away.  That he didn't doesn't constitute a failure on your part.  That he places any blame on you also doesn't constitute a failure on your part.

It probably doesn't feel like it now, and I'm sure it won't for a long time (if ever) but it takes a great strength and kindness to recognize and remove yourself from such a situation.

Your head and heart will hurt over the what was and what will never be.  But in time turn your attention to the what will be - for you, for your daughter, for the great people in your life that will rally around you now in this moment and for the great people who have yet to come into your life.

Do not repeat your husband's mistakes.  Carry your baggage.  When you're ready, open it up and inspect it.  Put it away where it belongs.  And move on in life without the weight and clutter.

Im so so sorry this is happening!!!! I read your posts as things progressed. You saw the writing on the wall, and still stuck it out - honoring your vows, and yet your DH could not honor his. Sometimes there is another woman, sometimes there is a Bio mother sticking around as the "other woman". In this case, his children DECIDED they did not want you and acted in their own best interest.

I suspect once they get what they want, they will not fulfill their promises of being there with daddy.

Not your problem anymore. Your husband has made his choice, and there are no takkie backies. I know it must hurt so badly right now. I was ready to leave my husband when his daughter blasted him with a bunch of texts claiming that I was the entire reason that she was not willing to have a relationship with him. He asked me to stay. His youngest asked me to stay. I stayed. Your husband is asking you to leave.

You will be stronger than you know, once the numbness wears off. You will open up space for someone that will not have toxic children and will put you first. You deserve this.

So sorry- it is ten months since my 9 year relationship ended. I still don't undretsand why- but there you are. I am relationship and for the most part, money worry, free.  Of the two of us I like to think I'm managing my life better, but who knows?

Endings are also beginning- take a deep breath, be easy on yourself, and embrace being skid free!! (((hugs))) and more (((hugs)))