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Wonderful News! SS told his mom he wants to live with /Dad!

Maya's picture

Submitted by Maya on Wed, 12/13/2006 - 7:12pm

Yes, the holidays are here and things are getting better. After so much drama and needless pain, SS told his mom that he feels more comfortable living here with his dad! It was a very hard thing and she made him cry and told him she would move far away if he ultimately chose to do that...but we helped SS handle it and made sure that those were truly his wishes...now the next stage..the court/legal parts....

TBC

Comments

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Wed, 12/13/2006 - 8:04pm

First off, congrats!

Secondly, I really hope for the child's sake that she doesn't follow through with that. I have witnessed firsthand how betrayed a parent can feel when their child decides to live with the other parent and how it can ruin the relationship for life. I just hope that's not the case here.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Wed, 12/13/2006 - 8:21pm

All three of the kids wanted to come live with us and asked us if they could. We were flabbergasted, but delighted. We told them that we would have to discuss it with their mother, but that it was fine with us if it was okay with her. We did explain that since she has sole legal and physical custody, that it was ultimately her decision and that we couldn't make her let them move in. Well, hubby mentioned it to her and she said that she would think about it. She actually said she thought it might be good for the kids, especially their son, if they could try living with their dad for a year. Her situation wasn't so great at the time... her husband had been arrested for assaulting her, she was having all sorts of medical problems and I think she was just really overwhelmed and it seemed like a good idea at the time. We couldn't believe it! Not only would we get to see the kids regularly, they would be living with us! Hooray! This woman always fought about just giving us weekends, so it came as such a shock that she would consent to let the kids live with us for a year. We were so excited! Then she had one of her psycho moments and called our house ranting and raving about how we would NEVER get her kids. Two parents and four children got the carpet pulled right out from under us and, boy, were we disappointed.

I guess the moral of my story is that it's great that he wants to come live with you, but be cautiously optimistic about the outcome. By the time you got to court, she could have changed his mind or guilted him into staying with her. And depending upon his age, his wishes might not even be taken into consideration by a judge. Before you try the court thing, why not have Dad talk to Mom and see if she'd agree to a year-long trial first. Her reaction might give you an idea of what you'll be up against.

~ Anne ~

Maya's picture

Submitted by Maya on Wed, 12/27/2006 - 6:55pm

Feedback is always welcomed and often helpful. thanks Anne for sharing your experience.

SS is 13. His mom has emotionally abused him for the last 10 years...when BF divorced her. Bio-mom has put the poor child in the middle of all post-divorce issues, threatens him, lies to him, bad mouths his dad and other family/friends to him...she is not cooperative. Reasonably Talking to her did not work for my BF. Having my BF's lawyer talk to her also didn't work. It has gotten to the point that SS feels so uncomfortable by his mom's behaviors that he does not want to see her or spend a night over there since he told her he did not want to live there anymore (BF and Biomom share joint custody). Also, when she calls, she is hysterical and cries to him, puts a guilt trip on him for her "being alone" and without him. She is very selfish and seems to be hung-up on my BF/her ex still. Her actions have caused her son to feel awkward and uncomfortable around her but she constantly leaves my BF emails and voicemail's saying that my BF is a bad dad and it is HIS fault that SS does not want to live w/her.

I guess my point is that she is not someone whom one can work with in finding what is best for this teenage boy. Everything is about her and about money...for example she told BF that SS could keep the dog SHE gave SS as a gift if BF paid her $3000 (she paid $400 for the gift/dog).