What if BM reads these?????
Have you all ever wondered what if BM reads your posts? I for one would love it because then she'd know how much I truly hate her. She's a pathilogical liar which also means that she believes her own lies so she'd probably not get anything else I was saying, but she'd know without a doubt DH and I hate her to the core for what she's done to our family.
That's what I'd want her to know. What she's done to my family is irreparable and unforgiveable. The only words I'll ever have for her are "go f*** yourself".
Well, I also guess I'd want her to know how pathetic I think she is. Honestly, I don't know how she looks at herself in the mirror. She's hurt and wronged so many people and yet she just flits around like she's never done a bad thing in her life. No conscious at all. She's pathetic and disgusting.
I'd want her to know that going to church every time the doors are open won't wipe away all her sins if she continues to repeat the same ones over and over again without apologizing or trying to correct the wrongs. I'd think God would particular frown on that. What's that called contrition?
Anyway -- I hate her & she's pathetic.
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Let her. I don't care anymore.
I don't care if BM or anyone else reads my posts. I use my real first name, so if she happened to stumble upon this site, that may or may not trigger an alarm within her. She might wonder if it's me or someone else named Anne. But I do know that her perspective is so warped that she'd never recognize herself in any of my posts. She can't see where she has ever done anything wrong. She's the kind of person who swears up and down that my husband never calls the kids, even though I can print out month after month of phone records and prove that he does call. I'm the kind of person who feels like I do everything wrong and struggle to find ways to make things right, whereas she's the kind of person who never does anything wrong. In her mind, that is. So she can read or not read my posts, I doubt it would make a bit of difference to either one of us. For years I wished she could see through objective eyes everything she's done to hurt us, but she never will. She can't.
~ Anne ~
Help! I am dealing with a pathological liar too!!! What do I d
Dear Anne,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I am in year one as a StepMom and my husband's ex-wife and mother to his three children is a pathological liar, as well. I have never dealt with this sort of individual in my life. She is pscyho and cruel and makes zero apologies for her erratic, likely drug-induced behavior. It is terribly difficult on me and the children and I have not the slightest idea how to deal with this. My hubby, her ex, is an amazing man, no but's about it. However, I cannot imagine dealing with her insanity for the rest of my life. Everytime we have my husband's children, she manages to find a way to make everything go haywire. She'll show up where we are because she calls the children to find out where we're going. She makes scenes, she does everything possible to make our lives miserable. I think my ex is used to her psychotic ways since he was married to her. During the course of their marriage she had 8 affairs and completely ran him out of money. So he's basically used to it. I need to know how to live my life with her personal attacks on me and my BD. She has most recently contacted my ex-husband, the father to my BD, and they are becoming friends, making my co-parenting relationship with next to impossible after they have their "jam sessions" about what a horrible woman I am. Does anyone out there have any advice about how to manage to be happy in this really scary, psycho situation. I love my husband very much and I just cannot go on like anymore. Thanks-Me.
Steppedon...
I see there's no love loss in your situation. Instead of condemning and blaming Biomom for all that's happened, be the better person and extend the olive branch. That would really throw her for a loop.
Been there, done that.
The "olive branch" was extended at year 7 or 8 of our marriage. Keep in mind, she cheated on him and put him in amazing debt not to mention continued to manipulate the situation with the kids by excluding us and not informing us of things as required. Us extending the branch was a huge jesture.
She loved the "olive branch" senario so long as it was in front of people, but when it came to things people didn't witness (so that she could be thought of as a wonderful person) she didn't hold up her end of the bargain. She contiued to keep information from us and made sure we never had school photos (to the point of not having the kids set for photos) or yearbooks.
These are things that we can't get back. We can't go to those events, we can't get that memorabilia back.
We're beyond the "olive branch" stage. It didn't work for us because we were the only ones cooperating.
Now we are at the point where we communicate directly with the kids (they are 16 & 18) now about their schedules and hubby only communicates with her when he absolutely has to.
So for me, no conversation in 14 years has been productive. I finally reached the point two years ago where I realized that I tried my best and could officially give up on the situation in good conscious. Basically, she's dead to me. My life and marriage improved drastically once I made that decision. I'm a better person with less anger (it always gets directed to an innocent person) and a happier family. I'm more productive and healthier mentally and physcially. Anger, frustration and hatred take up so much energy and take focus off the important things and people who deserve the attention.
No matter the topic. Even if the worst of worst things happen, the only words I'll ever have for her are "go f*** yourself".
What she's done can't be repaired and I can't forgive someone who maliciously harms my family. God will have to do the forgiving.
Forgiveness isn't for the other person...
it is for you. Forgiving someone else takes the burden of hurt and anger from you. There is still some of that in this message.
I would be delighted
To know that BM read these posts. Nothing I've ever posted has been any less then the truth and/or my honest feeling on the matter.
I'm not the least bit concerned with weather or not our BM were to run across and read these posts. But if she were too I'm certain she would be angry--but as I always say if the shoe fits.......
Alisha
I can relate to every
I can relate to every feeling you have towards BM. I would give the world to tell her how I feel and know she actually gets it, rather than having it fly right over the top of her head.
I have such hateful feelings towards my SD's BM that it would be hard for one to imagine, but I think you might know from how your post sounds.
Maybe if more BM were to read these post they might think about how all of us Step Moms feel and what we have to deal with in their absence or because of them.
Good Luck and know that there are many of us that are right along for the ride you are in for and have been through.
I would love it if she did
I am like everyone else it would be great if she did, however I personally feel that she would not see any wrong in what she has done, She is the ALMIGHTY bio-mom, what could she possibly do wrong?
"Be there for the joy. Be there for the tears. Be there for each other."
(Step-Mom the Movie 1998)
I don't care... have nothing to hide.
Besides, I doubt very highly that she would even recognize that I am talking about her. Plus, she probably would just pull out her pity me card from her pocket to everyone and say... see, see what THEY do to ME.
I have two BM's to deal with. BM1 is mental, finally on medication but still carries the pity me card, "I'm the victim", in her pocket. BM2 is so reclusive that she's hard to find, avoids us and denies DH his time with SD. We are currently in proceedings for a court order schedule now, so things are diffidently going to be changing for her. So it will get interesting to say the least. I'll be back, that's for sure.
I have nothing to hide, have been upfront and truthful, and honestly, I would LOVE it if the BM's read my posts, but I know that they would be in such denial, that nothing would ever change.
I wish she would!
A big part of me wishes that BM WOULD stumble across this site and read some of our horror stories. Though I realize that no matter how much she reads, she'd still never identify herself with any of it because she's the perfect mother and ex-wife, was always the prodigal wife, blah blah. She can never do wrong, don't you know.
You know, I wouldn't wish this misery on anyone EXCEPT BM. I wish that she marries a man who has a vindictive ex wife and kids so that she can know first-hand the pain and suffering that she's put us through. Maybe then she'd open her eyes and realize how stupid she's being!
I don't hate BM, I pity her. I pity her for all the lies that she lives with. All the lies she tells us to try to get information, when she doesn't realize that if she just asked us straight up without trying to bully us we'd tell her the truth like always, but also we'd be much more likely to work with her. I pity her for all the lies and stories she makes up to tell others to make herself look better. I pity her because of how helpless and meaningless her life must seem to her that she is convinced she has to lie about it to make it worth sympathy or attention from others. But most of all I pity her for the irrepairable damage that she is doing to her relationship with her son because she is so focused on causing me and BF pain that she can't see how badly it hurts SS.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Ditto!
Nymh, I couldn't have said it better. You just put all my thoughts and feelings into 3 concise paragraphs.
I really could care less if
I really could care less if 'she-witch' found this site
I'm simply telling the truth.....