this is just for me to get things off my chest. with out starting an arguement that will go nowhere.

I feel like I am being treated like the nanny/maid I have asked bf to take me out of the equation when it comes to drop off and pick up times regarding the children. here is and example. His ex-wife is supposed to keep the children until 5pm she calls him at work at 1 pm and says I am dropping off the kids at 3pm. He calls me and says you have to be home at 3 she is dropping the kids off. I said well it would have been nice if someone had checked with me to see if i were available. I quit my job a year ago when we found out how much daycare would be it would have been my weekly pay plus $100 a week for 3 kids so it didnt make any sense for me to continue to work. So now ex-wife assumes because I am home I am at her beck and call. because I don't work I am always "available".

She is always late or cancelling her visits with the kids. I had to have surgery a month ago told her I wouldnt be available for the day so if any problems came up with the kids she would have to deal with it. She called my cell phone 15 times while I was having surgery to tell me she needed to drop off the kids they were misbehaving for her and she couldn't handle it anymore.

So after my surgery I came home to her screaming at me and the kids. She was parked outside waiting for me to come home so she could take off. I scheduled my surgery for her day so I wouldnt have to take care of the kids. They would be with her. I called bf he came home to help.
For the last 6 weeks she has demanded the kids eat here because she can't afford to feed them best one was ... I sent a care package with the kids to their mom's house they came home hadn't eaten anything!! why not? because she didn't have any clean dishes.. she actually called bf to tell him thats why they didn't eat. That day I showed the 11 year old how to wash dishes .. conversation with 11 yr old. why didn't you eat? no clean dishes why didnt you tell mom to wash them you would have told me to wash them! she wouldn't well then why didnt you wash them ? I don't like eating soap. so I spent a few minutes showing him how to wash dishes by hand ... we have a dishwasher.

BF keeps saying ... he isn't accomodating ex-wife he is protecting the kids. I am sick of being taken for granted. I am tired of protecting them from her they need to know what a low-life she is. She visits with them 2 nights a week and is put on a pedestal. And I feel like the dirt that holds it steady.

she picks them up one day a week after school and another day at 5 pm and drops them off at school. doesn't take any responsibility for them when they are sick or need something at school thats all placed on me . she tells the kids I can't discipline them but they are in my care from 7 am to 5 pm daily when not in school and when in school I have to run back and forth to school to get them bring stuff they forgot. I do all the "motherly" things she should be doing but refuses. I have told bf I don't have a problem when its his/our day with the kids but why are we responsible on her days. She has decided on 6 different occassions that a child was too sick to attend school does she stay home with them? no she drops them off here ok so I can not discipline them but I can play nurse? I am resentful that I quit my job. I am going back to work before summer time it would be worth paying childcare rather than having to deal with the ex-wife let her be late for daycare pickups or drop them off at daycare when she feels like it. Let her tell daycare workers they can't discipline "her children".

Any time I enforce house rules 11 yr old tells me how much he hates me. example can i go to so and so's? is your homework done? no i am going to do it over there? no go when its done! I hate you!!! you are so mean to me. New rule no one goes anywhere until bf gets home from work and home work is done. another rule I have to enforce.

this is the same kids who is by my side day and night. If he is home he is sitting by me helping me in the kitchen he likes to bake. but the second I say he can't do something he hates me. I am the one he calls daily from school about getting a ride home or going to a friends or having to stay after and needs a ride. does he call his mother or father? no he calls me told him yesterday he really needs to think before he says I hate you because I will stop doing for him what he needs to say is I hate rules I hate that you reinforce the rules I hate that you hold me accountable for my actions. because if he truly hates me then nothing I do for him is appreciated and I will stop doing those things for him.

last tuesday was the last blow up with the ex-wife.. she was supposed to pick up the kids at 4:30pm called at 4:15pm told them make sure you eat before i pick you up... I hadn't made anything for dinner we do not eat until 6:00 pm I flipped out ... why do we have to feed them 6 days a week? why is it ok for you to not feed them but we have to ? i said "we don't have any clean dishes?" called bf flipping out ... either you set her straight or I am going to ... if she doesn't feed her children I will call cps on her. if she doesn't show up when she is supposed I will start sending her a bill for babysitting services rendered. I am done being the babysitter and being stepped on. She looks for any opportunity to not be with her kids and then tells the kids the "judge won't let me see you more" " if I don't pay my child support the judge and daddy are going to put me in jail" "tell daddy I said he needs to spend more money on you"

I know this is long sorry... just really need to vent. sick of arguing with bf about the ex and how unfit she is. I am getting resentful and bitter. I wish she would either step up as a mother or walk away. the first 4 months i was seeing bf she was not around. She called a few times when the kids told her daddy had a gf ... she all of a sudden started showing up wanting to be with her children. which was fine happy for them but she breaks their hearts more than she knows ... they were better off when she didnt show up rather than being heart broken every time she promises she will be here for them and doesn't show and we have to deal with the meltdowns.