Do not feel guilty at all! If the BM threw this card out there, then she asked for your dh to stop it NOW. I'm so happy to hear that he did say no then. It takes alot to stand up to the ex and put your wife first. His son is not going to be harmed by not being with you for the day. This is ridiculous! What she is truly saying is she feels threatened that once you have your baby that SHE will no longer hold the "importance" she feels she has because she has his son. Don't you dare play into this game! I remember our BM telling me that her and her kids(not all dh's) were there before me and mine(meaning mine and dh's) and they would be there long after we were gone. It is not that they are afraid for the children's place in thier dad's lives, they are afraid of THEIR place. Don't you dare play into her insecurities.
That said, I don't know if this will help, but there is a wonderful place called the M.I.S.S. foundation and maybe a little bit of their support right now while you are going through this pregnancy may help. I have lost three babies and being pregnant all over again was the worst. Always wondering and being scared to death of what you are doing or not doing. This group, well, they've all been there! They hold meetings all over the US and sometimes it's nice to chat with women, and men, that have been there too! Here's a link if you want...
http://www.misschildren.org/
But don't you dare let that woman make you feel guilty!

Your DH is looking out for your best interest and the baby's! Kudos for him...She will get over it...and if SS new that this was so his little brother or sister can be healthy, I'm sure he wouldn't mind...Don't you feel bad....enjoy the break...after nine months you won't have one.

She is trying to find common groud between herself and your DH by making him feel sorry for SS because YOU are pregnant now with YOUR baby, and THEIR son is not going to get the attention her deserves!! Don't let her get to you... she is bitter and needs to get a life.
ALSO, please realize that when your baby is born the baby will REQUIRE more of your time and attention (feeding, changing, rocking, etc.) Don't let the witch make you feel badly about it! It won't be forever, but infants require more of us.... my two bio kids are ages 9 and almost 6 and they had to adjust when I met my now husband because he had a 9 month old baby.... being a baby he needed more of my time.... I explained to the older kids, they of course tried to play the 'feel sorry for us' card, but it didn't work and everything worked out just fine.

NCP should have rights too! I absolutly agree with everyone here!!!Your husband did the right thing by thinking of you and the baby first, and the whole " you dont care about our son because you have a new family now" is a card almost all BM'S play, even when it comes to DH accepting and loving our bchildren. Blow it off sweetie, lay in bed, read, sleep, watch the tube. Your priority is that child growing inside you and ss will understand if not now,soon enough.This is the bm's insecurities of yet another area she is losing control over DH, let her have them,lol.

Wow. My DH and I heard this even before we were married. I am younger and he got the whole ridiculous speech about how BM knew we would have children and that he needed to promise her (can you picture the drama with which this was said) that he wouldn't "love the children of the favored wife more than the two he has with her" - seriously. We are trying to get pregnant right now - I have no children of my own and want a baby more than anything. My Skids are one of the most important parts of my life (we share them 50/50). Hopefully this will work out for us and we'll be able to have a baby, and I know I will deal with exactly this situation. Glad I read this one!

As parents, we all think that OUR kids should be first. It takes a very secure and in-touch person to be able to be objective in a case like this, and obviously BB is not that type. The bottom line is that NEITHER child, bio or step, is more or less important. But when it comes down to a simple concept like the one I see in this situation, and that is if you agree to watch DS, you very possibly could put your baby's health in jeopardy, the sensible choice needs to be made. Our BB HATED when STBX made decisions about DD that affected the schedule with SS somehow. She too pulled the "SS should not come second now" crap. For example, DD was a preemie, and she needed to be kept out of the cold in the beginning due to immunity/respiratory issues. So STBX asked that he pick up SS a little earlier on the one day a week that he watched DD so that he could be back from getting SS before I had to leave for work, which meant that DD never had to go outside. Well, of course that was too much trouble for BB because it would mean SS leaving the house 15 min. early. Okay, so because SS was the product of the golden vag, he should get his extra 15 minutes and put an infant's LIFE in danger. Right. Makes perfect sense.

Sometimes it comes down to doing the "right" things but it's hard to figure out what that is as a parent, and a possibly-jealous ex. Do NOT feel bad. DO NOT let this stress you. Your one and ONLY job right now is to rest and stay calm for your baby. Let DH deal with the ex...it seems like he is more than capable, and a VERY supportive partner. You are lucky.

GOOD LUCK!
Krissy

Wonderful! I just have to say that no matter what is going on with either parent, your SS (at least momentarily) seems to have a great compassionate heart and that is just awesome! You are one lucky woman! And this baby will be one lucky little sibling!

your emotions are such right now BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT! lol...

I have lost two babies to miscarriage myself, so I know all the added stress and anticipation, not to mention the emotional lows and highs, you are going through. I agree with all the ladies here, but the guilt factor is also such because of the emotions that pregnancy brings on. When things get out of control, try to remind yourself to take a breather, because during a pregnancy phase, our body is using much more energy and our brain literally slows down, so things can easily affect us, that's one reason that pregnant woman are sooo emotional... besides the added obvious hormones running a muck! lol.

If the nausea is that much of a factor that it is affecting your daily life, than try to snack on things alll day long... don't let your stomach get empty in other words. (I found myself forcing to eat a slice of bread, and once it was in my stomach, I felt sooo much better, than I just kept nibbling on things to keep things in my stomach...) Ginger is a great alternative for nausea, so maybe try some gingersnaps, gingerbread, or ginger candy, or sprinkle a little ginger on a dish, etc. Ginger ale is caffeine free, so perhaps sip on some of that. You could also try decaf peppermint tea too, my friend used to suck on peppermint candies, but that didn't work for me. Something you could try.

They always recommend unsalted crackers, but that wasn't enough for me- I had to eat slices of plain bread! LOL But I found that ginger really helped me out. Unfortunately, my last miscarriage was at 6 wks- so I didn't have much time to adjust to it all either. I only 'officially' knew for about 3 days...

Hang in there. It WILL get better.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...