But you should try not to worry so much about what if's - Believe me it will drive you crazy, drain you and all it does is create more questions- Let them deal and you relax-
what ever happens is going to happen whether you worry or not- (wow I wish I could take this advice)
I have stayed awake many of nights worry about what if she does this or what if she does that - my husband and I try to think of every situation that she could do when something comes up and it seems no matter how much we prepare she always does something that we did not even think of. I do alot of talking with my husband about his ex- but he is the one that is calm one.
With his ex she is not logical or sane- so i have decided to stay in the loop but not to waste my time and energy wondering what her next move is - i have better things to do- b/c i read somewhere on here i think the best revenge is a well lived life- I just try to think the ex would enjoy the fact i am worried or i know her a$$ is not worried about anything why should i worry about her fat nonworking- lying, cheating A$$- I have better things to worry about lol - and better things to do - like be the best mom and wife I can be!!! Good luck.

I know i will be in the same boat soon - I think that dh and dumba$$ are going to have to go to counseloring for a plan of action for ss- but knowing dumbA$$ (my husband's nickname for the ex) she is going to make herself look bad- b/c the counselor they are going to is the same one that they tried to go to when they were married and basically that counselor told her her reasons were unfounded and she was not thinking rationally- needless to say she is not going to be happy going back to her.

I don't have much faith in counseling for DH and BB. If it were about the kids and they are involved in the counseling sessions then I can see where there would be a benefit. That being said I don't see where counseling for the two of them will help unless they are trying to get back together, just makes no sense. I get along much better with BM because of the same reason you do, I don't get emotionally involved and wrapped up in all the drama, she knows if she talks to me there is no BS, no crying, no screaming, I don't put up with that crap. I assume your BB would rather talk to DH because she can pull that stuff on him, make him feel guilty etc. If you being the mediator works for your situation I can't see a judge changing it. Good luck with that. How was the vacation?

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

Sounds so ugly. I am sorry you have to deal with this, it leaves you feeling helpless that you can't protect the ones you love. I hope you have a judge with some common sense, that can see through the drama and do what is best for everyone. Try not to worry hon, focus on the things you can change and feel free to come on back down south any time you want.

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

lol. A retreat! We could call it "STEPDOWN" come here to relax and take a step down from all the responsibilty and BS that you have to deal with every day. I'll bring the liquor!

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

the person that needs counseling is BM, counseling would not work for us cause BM is too stubborn and wants everything her damn way!

-happy mom

EX and BB have been going to co-parenting counseling after YEARS of nasty, hateful communication. I could sit for days and type my feelings on their issues with one another, but the bottom line is that looking back, it did help, altho I didn't think so until recently. It forced them to actually have eye-contact for the first time in 3 years and it was, I think, beneficial to have someone unbiased there to referee. It cut down on the nasty phone calls and the stubbornness and immaturity and I do think they reached something of a cease-fire for a short time.

It wasn't until recently that I realized how much this helped because they haven't gone in about 2 months, and now BB is back to her lying, conniving games, threatening EX with all kinds of nonsense and trying to manipulate him to get her way. She's being sneaky and difficult again. Of course, much of this was started when EX told her that we were divorcing, but I do believe that had they still been in therapy while this all went down, it might've cut the bullshit that just happened at least to half. I didn't realize how quiet things had been...until they started again.

So...yeah, I guess it's worth it. To make a long story short. But maybe I'm also saying that it works WHILE you're there...and maybe it takes a long time to have it stick when the therapist isn't around.

Krissy

if you are a step parent- most co-parenting programs out there require the step parent to participate in the sessions with both bio parents because all parties have a vested interest in the SD or SS. At least thats what I have been told since we are getting ready to do this as a result of a court order so hopefully something works for the better.