Girl, I SOOOO understand. When I first met Jay, his crazy ex had a private investigator following us trying to get dirt on us. I spoek with an attorney and he basically informed us that a judge is not going to consider you bad parents if you are going out with friends, drinking some drinks, enjoying yourself.... Now, if you are doing this on visitation weekends & leaving the child unattended, being neglectful.... it is a different story. But that is not what you all are doing.

You wont be given a restraining order because no harm has been done. Does she call you constantly? See they have fairly new Stalking laws in effect now. If a certain number of calls are made in one day, a certain number of incidences are filed within any given months... then she may fall under the stalking and a restraining order would be issued.

What I was advised to do here (not sure where you live... I'd have to run over to MySpace and check **wink wink**) Every incident (like the one the other night), file a police report. An incident repor can be filed EVERY time, no matter how trivial it may seem. And an incident report does not mean that you are pressing charges or that anything will happen. But when you are trying to document the harrassment, a court of law wants these report numbers as evidence. If the phone is being used for harrassing, keep a call log.

Be on your best behavor for now. Don't change your life, but if you are acqauintances with some unsavory individuals you may want to avod them for awhile (I am thinking that doesnt apply to ya, but this is what the attorney told me), if you participate in any "alternative" lifestyles, those can also be looked down upon by a judge.

Now, we did in fact go back to court (pro se) and request that the judge put into the orders for there to be no harassing from either party. Then if she does do it, she is in contempt and going against a court order. Immediate jail time.

Hope this helps. If I think of more, I will let you know. And remember if her stalking recahes the legal standards for it being condiered criminal, you do not have to pay for legal representation. The DA or CA will provide that.

Good to see you back on...goingcrazy has this in a nutshell, our BM did the same thing to my DH when he was trying for custody. She took pictures outside DH's birthday party and would drill sd about what Dh was drinking at home etc. It really blew up in her face in the long run and she lost custody because of her crazy stalking and having SD in the car with her at midnight driving by and taking pictures or even leaving her a home alone. She was a nut, she is much better now but I will never trust her. Keep a good journal. Good luck with this hon.

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius