More babies...
I am new here! I have been reading for about a week and wanting to join. My DH and I have been married for almost 4 years and I have a SD15 and SS11. I did not grow up in a split home so I had no idea everything you have to consider when you marry into one. I wanted to post and ask how you all decided it was the right time to have your own children with your spouse. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt my DH and I were put on this Earth to be together. We have been though a lot with the kids and BM and I am sure there is still more to come. But we are in a place where this is a reality. I just wanted to get some input and listen (read) your experiences regarding this. How did the skids react? Was there more problems with BM? Any advise would be great.
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For us
my Skids (SS14, SD13 and SS8) all new from the beginning we were going to have babies together. I was only 23 when I got married so the thought of having to raise someone else's kids and not get a chance to have my own was unheard of. I also do not have ANY steps in my family, however my DH has TONS! So it was definitely a weird situation to walk into that whole dynamic.
It took us four years to get pregnant. We started trying immediately and I just had my first baby a month ago. I'm so in love with my baby I can't explain it and no matter WHAT anyone tells you it's not the same with the step kids. All of my step kids live with us and always will. The BM's didn't ahve much to say, I have dead beat BM's. The oldest SS's mom could have cared less, she probably didn't care either way, not because she's heartless but just b/c it doesn't matter to her, it's not like she helps support her son so she doesn't care. The other BM, we tried not telling, she's only supervised visits at the court house, so as far as I was concerned she didn't even need to know, and she'll NEVER see my son. And again she doesn't support the kids and it shouldn't make any difference to her, I'm sure she was pissed, b/c she's ridiculous but I don't care
I could probably write a book here so I'll shut up but you're more than welcome to ask more questions. It was never a question to me about whether or not I was going to have kids with my DH. I never actually wanted kids until I met him and after struggling four years to finally get pregnant it's probably one of the best decisions I've ever made.
Dawn
baby
Age is always a factor with the woman and there is never a perfect time to have a baby. If you and your H want a baby then I say get started on it. Things always fall into place and work out where the baby is concerned if there is a lot of love involved. Sometimes a baby does make BM get more quacky, but thats her problem.
All hell broke loose-thanks to the ex and her husband
Supposedly her genius of a husband guessed that I was "pregnant" at my 1.5 month mark. (We think they guessed it because we left a room open in our new house and made the two kids share a room) Anyways her mother cornered us at the eldest SS's soccer game and congratulated my husband out of the blue. (We had not told anyone because the first trimester is supposedly so "if-y" and has a high risk for miscarriages.
Well, the crazy *&^%#@ and her husband corners us at the next soccer game and freaks out of us. HER husband actually accuses me of being a liar and dishonest for not telling the two kids. She starts screaming at me in front of both boys. I find myself having to defend my right to when I introduce MY child to the world with this woman and her equally batty husband.
P.S. Funny thing is his kids are okay with a new brother or sister. It's HER that's off of the hook!
Girl--it was not a great experience.
I hope your ex is not as freaky as mine is and the experience goes better. I'd prepare for the worst and hope for the best!