BM was served with my adoption papers yesterday
I guess you can say I am preparing for the worst. The atty said we should go the adoption route first - then if she contests we can go the termination route. Worst case scenario - she has to pay child support - hopefully adhere to drug testing and supervised visitation. Best case - she would sign the consent realizing she isn't a part of SS's life.
SHe hasn't seen or spoken to him in a year - this happens quiet often throughout his life - this episode is because she was selling drugs the last time he saw her - and he confronted her and said he didn't like it and she needed to clean up her act if she wanted to see him again. (He's almost 12)
well - fast forward - we find out she married the much younger bf she met at NA (Narc anon) neither have had jobs or cars in years. I see that the state just sued her to seize 570 cash and crack - which tells me since no charges were filed she was an informant - meaning she gave away the worse guy.
First time I met her - she was drunk - showing up at my house and bargining in - she said that she didn't care my ss lived with me but i would NEVER be his mother. Really - you haven't? Then - the last time we saw her we told her we wanted a modified parenting agreement drawn up and I would do it. Her comment - at least she's decent.
But - 24 hours have gone by - she knows our numbers or how to get in touch with us and we haven't heard anything - which worries me - of course I would have called immediately and protested if she really cared.
She told my investigator that "Hell no that bitch ain't taking my kid" and "They are using my rehab against me" No - we are using your second rehab of the year against you - and the drugs - husband - non support - and abandonment against you....
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Wow
I couldn't imagine being in that type of position. If you need anything let me know! Please let us know how everything goes.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
hope it goes well for you
my ex husband was an addict, when i divorced him. i had the same stipulations in a way. he had to stay clean and by my request he had to have supervised visits with an adult we both agree on. he never stayed clean so he didnt spend alot of time with them after our divorce. he took his life a year after we divorced. in jail.(its been almost 5 years)
with that being said good for you if you win the war, which sounds like you probable will (i did, it wansn't much of a fight)
but the down fall is your SS WILL suffer! the loss of a father was was so tramitic to the kids then the divorce. they were 6,11,14 at
the time. kids dont understand substance abbuse Hell i dont understand how people pick drugs over children but they do. help your SS as much as you can. he'll need it to get threw this himself. they feel lost,abandon, if thers anything i can help you with please contact me anytime i've been dealing with this loss for a long time and it still is upsetting for me at times.
Praying for you
I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment. I will keep you in my heart and prayers. Please let me know if you hear from her. It is funny because I was at church this morning talking to a friend about SD and her BM. She was telling me she just went through something similar to our situations. We got on the subject of sacrificial love versus selfish love. These women are practicing pure selfish love. I am getting ready to write a letter to BM pleading for her to practice the sacrifical one and allow me to be the real mom as it is meant to be. I hope all goes well for you.
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."
It was my SS's suggestion to
It was my SS's suggestion to do this - he was the one that broached the subject of if something happened to dad him wanting to be able to stay with me - he understands he can still speak with her if he wants - which he stated he never wanted to - he has pretty much given up that she will ever change.
Good Luck
Your SS is very lucky to have you and your DH looking out for him.
My hat's off
to you saneone. You have really stepped up to the plate to protect your SS. Good luck to you, hopefully BM will realize that this is the best for him.
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren