Time for a rant! (When isn't it time for a rant?!) I'm sure most of you have been here before. Those annoying as hell habits the stepkids have inherited from BM. Here are some of mine, feel free to share yours!

Before I start, let me say that BM is completely self-absorbed, self-centered, rude, obnoxious, has no tact whatsoever, lives to be the center of attention, knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING, has no manners, does not give hygiene much thought....the list goes on & on. The problem with this is that BM is trying her damnedest to bring up her kids this way. So for us, it's difficult because we have SD8 every other week. I'm sure a lot of you know this routine. When we first pick up SD8 she acts like a carbon copy of BM. After a few days, this wears off & she acts more like herself. (Some weeks being better than others!) Often, she goes back into what I call "Mommy mode" the day before going back to BM's (this is a million times worse if BM calls to speak with her during the week at all). Then we go through the routine again a week later.

SD8 could be a really sweet, good kid. And sometimes she is. But when she's stuck in "Mommy mode", it's almost unbearable to be around her. She really does act just like BM. It drives my husband insane & I know it kills him to see his little girl acting just like BM, with the disgust & loathing he has for that woman.

Some examples of the things that drive us both crazy...

1) Not being able to entertain herself for more than a few minutes at a time. We have to repeatedly tell her to find things to do (sometimes GIVE her something to do), which she very grudgingly does, only to return 10 minutes later. It's like she does not understand this concept at all. We know it's learned behavior because BM cannot EVER be alone. She always has to have friends around, validating her existence. When my husband was married to her, she could not stand it if he read or did something that did not include her. This is how SD8 acts. Also, when SD8 is with BM, BM is always on the go. So SD8 never has to find things to do at BM's because they are rarely at home. My husband & I are almost always at home because a) we're homebodies - *gasp!* we like being at home! & b) we're saving up $$$ for a house (then we can be even more hermit-like!). And it's not like we don't do things with SD8. We just both feel that it's crazy that she can't do things by herself for more than 10 minutes at a time.

2) The bossiness. SD8 sometimes acts like a princess, telling us what to do or barking orders at us. It's gotten much worse lately & we've been calling her on it. Great example just 5 minutes ago...I made her breakfast & since she had been hovering around the kitchen while I did this, I handed her her plate to bring to the table. She pointed to the table & told me to put it there. You just want to slap her! Last night, she waited for both my husband & I to get comfy on the couch & then asks for water (she does this all the time). **Note: the tap water where we live is really awful, but we have a filter which makes it somewhat better. We also fill up jugs of amazing well water at my parents' house, but the jugs are too heavy for her to pour. So we often tell her to use the filter water, but sometimes it's "not cold enough" for her & she demands the other water. I plan on keeping water in a smaller pitcher that she can pour herself, which will end this habit.** Anyway, so my husband told her that he would get it in a few minutes, otherwise she could have tap water. She opted to wait. So my husband gets up a few minutes later for something else & SD8 says to me, "Didn't I ask for water?". I laughed because the way she said it & the face she made (just like BM) made me bite my tongue. It was RUDE! And SD8 has no freakin' clue that it's rude to behave that way. I have been around BM when she's barking orders at the current boyfriend. It's terrible. After the first time I witnessed this, I told my husband that I could never put up with that & that I would have probably strangled her. Maybe I'm a freak, but when I need something, I get my ass up & get it myself!

3) Not having her own opinion about things. SD8 has very little idea of who she is or what she likes. She constantly asks us our favorite color, movie, animal, etc., but when you ask her what hers is, she doesn't always have an answer. When FSD11 lived with us, SD8 used to wait for her to answer & then come up with a similar answer. It's really sad. I know it's common for younger siblings to copy older ones & maybe this is completely normal, but I think it's an extreme in this case. SD8 would brag with FSD11 about some wonderful food BM made. Then, after giving it some thought, would admit that she didn't like the food at all & that it was "gross". (FSD11 would get really mad about this because she was the Mommy defender! Everything Mommy does is perfect & awesome.) It makes things difficult because SD8 would go on & on about certain foods she eats with BM that she LOVES, but when my husband or I made the exact same thing, she would eat one bite & say she didn't like it. (Then later admit that she doesn't even like the food, even at Mommy's.) Very weird. It's just so obvious that SD8 hasn't been allowed to form her own opinion about things. But then BM will talk about how much she wants the girls to figure out who they are. What BS! As long as they are exactly what BM wants!
Also, BM does not form her own opinions. She bases everything on something someone tells her or something she reads on the internet. You can always tell when she has a new boyfriend because suddenly she's into a brand new hobby (but then claims to have done it all along). When she dated her college boytoy, she drank all the time. A year later when she dated a guy that didn't drink, she supposedly stopped drinking & told the girls that she was allergic to alcohol! That relationship was short-lived & she started hanging out more with a supposedly platonic friend, with whom she frequently went bar-hopping & did some drunk driving. (We heard about this from a mutual friend.) Now, she's dating a guy that just barely left his wife (not sure if they're even divorced yet) who's into exercising. Before we even heard about BM's new boyfriend, I knew something was up because out of nowhere, FSD11 made a very preachy comment on how important physical fitness was. Then BM ran with SD8 at a school fundraiser. And BM got a treadmill. Then I came across her new boyfriend's blog, where he's trying to fit in a certain size pair of jeans & he's into this diet/fitness routine. Hmmmm....what a coincidence! (Though exercising is a good thing, as long as she doesn't get the girls all hung up on weight/body issues.)

I think this rant has run out of steam for now! I've only written 3 things & I'm tired. I'll write more when I get my second wind!