advice for ss bday?
Before we had the falling out with my mil, i had planned a huge pirate bday for my ss turning 4. I had a huge pirate ship jumper scheduled, an actor from Disneyland coming as a pirate to entertain the kids, a treasure hunt, invites that were a message in a bottle...etc Well, i canceled it all because we couldnt find another location besides my mil's house to have it. instead we are doing something with just us and him...
anyways, i have know that bm was planning on having a pirate party for ss as soon as he told her i daddy and i were having one.
Keep in mind that just after Easter i wrote her to tell her that i was sorry for how i believed what mil had told me about her and for the sake of ss, it was important to me that her and i do our best to get along. blah blah blah She wrote me back pretending her and mil were always the best of friends and i was the person needing to learn my place and boundaries (and some other really mean stuff) so i told my fh, i will never be nice to that you know what again, Ive always gone out of my way to keep her happy, and im not going to do it anymore, and my fh was so excited because he hated that i always tried to see the good in her when really shes just an idiot!
so, this sunday, she calls to talk to ss, and then talks to fh to ask if we had anything we got for the party that obviously we didnt need, and if we could give it to her for her party. Me, being the usual nice person, with out thinking (she is always put on speaker phone when she calls so i hear every word out of her mouth) say we canceled most of the stuff, but i got some stuff on clearence ($45 worth)like table cloths, and decorations that she can have.
Since we dont really have any future use for them should I:
1. keep them and throw them away rather than give her anything because of how nasty she has been
2. give them to her so that when mil keeps bad mouthing me she will question it because after all that has happened im still nice to her, and after all i do love my ss, and the stuff is really for him and i know she cant afford all that stuff
I wonder if i should just keep trying to be nice when something comes up, or just stop? It seems that everytime she pulls something, i regret being nice, but i keep hoping that eventually my kindness will pay off!
- smnikki's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I say just give it to her.
I say just give it to her. If it makes his bday party better in his eyes, it'll be worth it. Its hard to be the better person, but you will sleep better at night knowing you are.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
I wouldn't bother with her
I wouldn't bother with her at all. But you also shouldn't go out of your way to be mean either. Just ignore her! As far as the extra stuff you have...sell it on ebay or if you have any family members or neighbors with little kids then give it to them!
I agree with WhiteTigress2.
I agree with WhiteTigress2. You spent your money so why give it to her?? If she planned a party she should have gotten that stuff already. You don't have to be rude to her but I advise you to have as little contact as possible with BM. I tried the whole being nice thing.It doesn't work!!BM will always treat you like dirt no matter what you do!BM broke my idea that there is good in everyone. There obviously isnt any in her!Bottom line stay away from BM as much as you can and she doesnt need your help. You should focus on your family and forget about BM and MIL.They can have eachother!! Hang in there.
Agree with the above
Just stop acknowledging her. Its something that I've had to do. As far as the party stuff goes, she should have had all those things already if she was planning a party. You can keep it for another occassion or give it to a friend who has kids. If BM wants to act like that, then let her.