I wish we had one week on one week off, right now we have 4 on 3off. BM says she 'can't stand the thought of not seeing SD for a whole week'... Even though we would only have SD 3 extra days than we do now, and it would be a better 50/50 agreement... But BM's not too bright, and doesn't see she only has SD 30-40% of the time, if not less. But whatever, its her loss of time. Its been working for the last two years (our first year together the Schedule was even more eefed up, SD would go back to BM EVERY day! Ie. BM-Monday FDH-Tuesday BM-Wednesday... And so on.) It was such a headache!! I'm much happier with us having SD Wed-Sat and BM having her Sun-Tues... Maybe when SD starts school we'll do the alternate weeks... We'll see.
well the 3-3-4-4 that i read about the kids are in the same home on the same days each week - there is only one day that rotates, addn that's usually saturday. one parent has every sun/mon/tue and one parent has every wed/thur/fri. how is that controlling or frenetic?
We do 2-2-3. I started it because my kids were very young and I didn't want them to be away from either mom or dad for more than a few days straight. Also, it rotates weekends as well as weekdays each week (one week mom has M,T, next W,Th) so activities and routine school work were also shared somewhat evenly between parents. We switch from school so no pickups are needed during school months.
My kids actually love it and have adapted very well. They are teenagers now and move pretty freely between our homes but tend to stick to the original schedule. Even their friends have it down.
I have over the years suggested that we go to a week on/week off a few times and no one is interested.
we live only 5 minutes from BM... pre-trial is set for late Feb, so fiance is putting together a draft parenting plan to send to his lawyer so he can give them a heads up of what he's looking for.
i kind of like the week on week off, but where we live so close to BM it seems weird to keep teh child from either parent for a whole week. also, i will admit that as SM, i am not sure i could handle SD around 7 nights straight.
IN any event, one of my gf's does it with her EXHusband and the children were 3 and 4 when it started. They live very close to each other and were fluid in the beginning. Sometimes the 3yr old missed mommy, so mommy would come get them for dinner and have them back to daddy for bedtime. (or Daddy for that matter)
They are now almost 6 and almost 7- it has made them super independent- its amazing.
My SD at 14 can't go 2hrs without talking to Mommmmmmmyyyyyyy. It's all in how the parents conduct themselves. ( husband has EOWE when she decides to visit- usually just 2 days a month)
We have a 50/50 order that's arranged 3-4-4-3. I would prefer week on/week off but 3-4-4-3 works now -- especially because the kids are so young (SS/SD5). The thing that drives me nuts is arranging the schedule around BM's on call schedule. She has a 24 hour call once to twice a week and we have to arrange the schedule around it. Often it'll result in seeing the kids for two days in a row followed by a single day later in the week. The same sort of issue will happen on our 4 day week. It can be maddening when it comes to keeping track of laundry and homework.
If we can keep 50/50 custody (and I hope we do), I'll encourage week on/week off as the kids get older.
We do a 5-2-2-5 schedule. I have every Monday and Tuesday, the ex has every Wednesday and Thursday and we alternate weekends. We started this when we first separated because we felt a whole week away from either of us would be hard on my youngest. At. The beginning of the school year we asked the kids if they wanted to change to a week on week off schedule and they like this better. They like that every week is the same and they don't struggle with the transitions.
I wish we had one week on one
I wish we had one week on one week off, right now we have 4 on 3off. BM says she 'can't stand the thought of not seeing SD for a whole week'... Even though we would only have SD 3 extra days than we do now, and it would be a better 50/50 agreement... But BM's not too bright, and doesn't see she only has SD 30-40% of the time, if not less. But whatever, its her loss of time. Its been working for the last two years (our first year together the Schedule was even more eefed up, SD would go back to BM EVERY day! Ie. BM-Monday FDH-Tuesday BM-Wednesday... And so on.) It was such a headache!! I'm much happier with us having SD Wed-Sat and BM having her Sun-Tues... Maybe when SD starts school we'll do the alternate weeks... We'll see.
Agreed!
Agreed!
well the 3-3-4-4 that i read
well the 3-3-4-4 that i read about the kids are in the same home on the same days each week - there is only one day that rotates, addn that's usually saturday. one parent has every sun/mon/tue and one parent has every wed/thur/fri. how is that controlling or frenetic?
We do 2-2-3. I started it
We do 2-2-3. I started it because my kids were very young and I didn't want them to be away from either mom or dad for more than a few days straight. Also, it rotates weekends as well as weekdays each week (one week mom has M,T, next W,Th) so activities and routine school work were also shared somewhat evenly between parents. We switch from school so no pickups are needed during school months.
My kids actually love it and have adapted very well. They are teenagers now and move pretty freely between our homes but tend to stick to the original schedule. Even their friends have it down.
I have over the years suggested that we go to a week on/week off a few times and no one is interested.
we live only 5 minutes from
we live only 5 minutes from BM... pre-trial is set for late Feb, so fiance is putting together a draft parenting plan to send to his lawyer so he can give them a heads up of what he's looking for.
i kind of like the week on week off, but where we live so close to BM it seems weird to keep teh child from either parent for a whole week. also, i will admit that as SM, i am not sure i could handle SD around 7 nights straight.
I'd shoot myself with
I'd shoot myself with 50/50
IN any event, one of my gf's does it with her EXHusband and the children were 3 and 4 when it started. They live very close to each other and were fluid in the beginning. Sometimes the 3yr old missed mommy, so mommy would come get them for dinner and have them back to daddy for bedtime. (or Daddy for that matter)
They are now almost 6 and almost 7- it has made them super independent- its amazing.
My SD at 14 can't go 2hrs without talking to Mommmmmmmyyyyyyy. It's all in how the parents conduct themselves. ( husband has EOWE when she decides to visit- usually just 2 days a month)
We have a 50/50 order that's
We have a 50/50 order that's arranged 3-4-4-3. I would prefer week on/week off but 3-4-4-3 works now -- especially because the kids are so young (SS/SD5). The thing that drives me nuts is arranging the schedule around BM's on call schedule. She has a 24 hour call once to twice a week and we have to arrange the schedule around it. Often it'll result in seeing the kids for two days in a row followed by a single day later in the week. The same sort of issue will happen on our 4 day week. It can be maddening when it comes to keeping track of laundry and homework.
If we can keep 50/50 custody (and I hope we do), I'll encourage week on/week off as the kids get older.
We do a 5-2-2-5 schedule. I
We do a 5-2-2-5 schedule. I have every Monday and Tuesday, the ex has every Wednesday and Thursday and we alternate weekends. We started this when we first separated because we felt a whole week away from either of us would be hard on my youngest. At. The beginning of the school year we asked the kids if they wanted to change to a week on week off schedule and they like this better. They like that every week is the same and they don't struggle with the transitions.
Lots to consider! Thanks!
Lots to consider! Thanks!