Advice Needed
Hi, I need some advice.
My husband and I have been pretty much estranged from my almost 19 year old SD for almost a year now. She has behaved beyond horrible for the past year since she moved out because she didnt want to follow any rules and was lying and stealing from us. She has basically spent the past year dragging us through the mud to anyone who will listen. She has managed to cover herself with tattoos, get piercings in her face and talk with the foulest mouth. My husband raised her himself since she was a baby (we have been married since she was 6)and BM was never in the picture nor supported her financially. Now her and BM run around together and are basically party pals since BM is an unemployed loser and has spent time in jail for drugs. My SD basically spit in our faces after all these years of raising her and went to BM.
Well she sent me a text yesterday and said that she wants to now take some college classes and wants to know if we will pay for them. My husband really wants her go to college and I know he's praying she will change but she is usually all talk and no action and she lies like a rug so we dont trust her. We were thinking of making her get a student loan to pay for school and as she finishes each semester then we would help to pay the loan. We just dont trust giving her money up front and dont want the money to be wasted if she drops out. Thats the only option we can think of without leaving ourselves open to getting burned. Is it that hard to get a student loan? Any other options? I'm also having a real issue with her and her mom being buddies but SD not holding her mom financially at all and all the burden going on us.
Yeah, she should have to
Yeah, she should have to prove herself first. If she gets through 1 semester successfully, then I'd agree to it.
Otherwise, no.
I don't trust it when you haven't heard from anyone then all of a sudden they want something.
Email or mail her FAFSA paperwork and tell her your conditions. Pass one semester on your own and we'll talk about it. DH is just getting his hopes up that she MAY turn out ok. Could be false hope.
As long as her credit isn't
As long as her credit isn't awful, she shouldn't have too hard a time getting a loan. I actually think that your idea is GREAT! If she doesn't follow through, it would be her responsibility. I always thought once my SS4 was 18, I would no longer have big issues with him or BM but from the things I read on this post, the problems never end! Again, great idea! Good luck!
Her credit is bad. Thats
Her credit is bad. Thats another thing she has managed to ruin over the past year. I do not want to co-sign for anything. I just know we will get burned.
A friend of mine was in a
A friend of mine was in a similar situation. He and his wife told skids to get financial aid for college and if skid maintained a 2.5 GPA and graduated in 4 years they would help with the loans. One skid flunked out after a semester and the other just graduated with honors after getting a partial scholarship. They gave him a check that covered 50% of his loans on graduation day. If the student works for it, they are much more likely to succeed. No wasted money on the flunkee and a nice surprise for the kid worked to get an education.
Thank you for the advice. I
Thank you for the advice. I really think that is the way to go so we are not flushing our money down the drain. I personally dont see her putting in the effort. I know that she wont follow through with securing the financial aid and will just make up some lie as to why she couldnt get it and want us to front the money. This time we are going to stick to our guns.
Sallie Mae will give her a
Sallie Mae will give her a loan with a higher interest rate. I say let her see what real consequences are for bad actions. Don't leave her out to dry but make her appreciate what she has had and what she is about to embark on. If she gets the money directly from you (or to school etc) than she ill probably never understand this lesson. Which in opinion is probably one worth knowing and can't be taught in school. Best of luck!!!