Afraid the birth of our baby will be compared to the birth of his first child :/
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I'm expecting my first baby with my husband in August. I can't wait!! However all I've been thinking about as its getting closer is my husband comparing the birth of our child to the birth of his first from his previous relationship. Or during birth his reminiscing the previous one from his ex. I know this sounds rediculous but I just want it to be my time. Me an my husband. In dont want any part of his past. :/
It's not ridiculous. I often
It's not ridiculous. I often get caught up in my feelings about not having "firsts" with him. Just think this will be his first successful marriage and this time he can do it right, lol. He loves you and this child will have a completely different life experience than his other children.
Perfectly normal, and
Perfectly normal, and unavoidable. Even if he doesn't say anything, you'll be thinking about it often. It gets easier.
Every birth is different.
Every birth is different. There may be similarities but it is different. My husband was not there till after his first was born and cleaned up. So the experience we had was truly his first. When we went to visit his oldest son, bm did that one for us. Telling all about her pregnancy and birth with ss. It something that people just do. Most of the time its not to rub it in your face its just reminiscing but bm in my case was trying to make me mad and uncomfortable. If for some reason he does say anything about the other birth, which is highly doubtful, just tell him you dont want to hear it. This is you and him not him and bm. Men usually focus at whats in front of them not whats behind them. Congratulations on the baby, Im also due in August with dh and mine 2nd. Just breath and I know its hard but relax as much as you can during labor, you would not believe how much it helps move things along.
This is exactly it .. while
This is exactly it .. while DH and I don't have any kids together yet, this is EXACTLY how I envision him dealing with the situation.
I find it interesting that so
I find it interesting that so many people have such a problem with the basic meaning of words. First for example. Everything is a first.
You and your husband are having YOUR first child TOGETHER. This child will be his FIRST child with you. You can not change history but you and your husband can make sure it does not repeat itself. If the two of you focus on your marriage, stay commited and be the example to all of your children and your DH will never have a fist child with a third woman.
I am quite a bit older than my wife. I traveled much of the world before we met and have been many places that she had not seen before we married. We have done many things together that I had done before. I can say unequivically that doing all of those things for the first time with her was entirely different than the first time I did them without her. Doing those things with the benefit of experiencing them through her eyes makes the experiences far better for me.
Not that those experiences were not special previously. They definately were. They are just far more important when I get to do them with my amazing bride.
IMHO of course.
Congratulations on your first baby. Enjoy your family.
Sincerely,
Echo, he does see her.
Echo, he does see her. Wednesdays and every other weekend and its pointless an she could care less. See one of my other post I put up it explains there. And nitkup thank you!
I felt the exact same way! I
I felt the exact same way! I still do. I finally had to tell my husband, I can't hear about SD when she was a baby. I don't care and I don't want to know. That part is past, and we need to keep it there.
He assures me it will be different, and that having one with me (someone he actually likes) will be much different. Actually wanting to have a baby as opposed to being terrified of the horrifying bitch about to have his baby will be very different.