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At what ah is it inappropriate???

SummerMomma719's picture

Just wondering at what age is it inappropriate for a daughter to be cuddling with her dad with her arms wrapped around his and her leg over his lap

fedupstep's picture

My SD16 is very inappropriately physical with my DH. It makes him uncomfortable but she doesn't stop. It's a territorial thing for her. I joke with DH that she soon will be peeing on him. Smile
When they are younger it's fine, but if it's making you uncomfortable, don't ignore it.

DaisyJC's picture

My step daughter hit puberty at 14 and continued laying all over her dad, he found it distressing and wouldn't let her anymore, she is a little bit delayed, but she was saddened by him withdrawing from her physically I think.

JustAgirl42's picture

14?? That's pretty good for a girl these days. My SD started at 9!! OMG, she has more hair down there than I do! It's so weird.

JustAgirl42's picture

Last night my SD10 was doing just what you described and it made me a little uncomfortable. This happens often. I understand her need to be close with him, it's just weird when I'm on one side of the couch and they're on the other being so lovey dovey. She also kept saying, "Daaadddeee, I looooveee you!".

No, I am not jealous of a 10yr. old, but I think she should witness FDH and I doing that, and what a good relationship is like. FDH knows how I feel, but what is he going to do, tell her to get off of him? Hopefully this will change as she gets older, but from what I've read, it may not.

SummerMomma719's picture

That's what happens. Dh is in the middle of the couch an I'm on one side she's on the other but she has her head on his shoud. She's hugging his arm. Has her left leg crossed onto his lap an her left foot underneath his leg at the same time. It pisses me off SO bad and the fact that there's nothing that can be done. I just have to sit back an deal. Like wtf

JustAgirl42's picture

Well at least you're beside him too. Our couch has a recliner on each end, so FDH is always on one of the ends of it. She always situates herself right beside him so that I end up on the other side. Anytime I've ever sat right next to him before she got there, she would lay on top of him. I have a hard time doing anything about it because I feel guilty that she's only with him half of the time.

JustAgirl42's picture

Oh brother, they're doing it right now, and she has her leg draped over his! I really wish I had the balls to say something, but I know he would get angry and all defensive and she would get her feelings hurt.

Orange County Ca's picture

I like the "you're too heavy" excuse. It can be used at any age.

I never (step) fathered young girls but I'd feel uncomfortable with any girl beyond 5 or so. School age. Boys I would bounce on my knee as did my father. Eventually they would fall off.

StepWTF's picture

My SD13 was 11yo when I had enough of that. She had already hit puberty and was wrestling with my DH and laying all over him. Well one day I came down stairs and she was straddling him as he laid on the floor trying to tickling him, I very calmly told that she was too old to be be doing that and that type of behavior is unacceptable. My DH tried to interject and I told him to shut up. I told both of them that suppose someone who does not know them saw that behavior, I explained to DH that he would have a hard time trying to explain that to CPS that it was innocent horseplay. I have never had that issue again. Now it's rubbing him on his back. I swear sometimes! I hope that she returns to BM because all of her passive aggressive shiish is getting on my nerves.

JustAgirl42's picture

Last night after a friend left and SD10 was in the bathroom, I went and sat next to FDH and cuddled up to him. He said that I better move, but before we had time to discuss it SD flew back into the room, stopped, looked at me and said, hey! you took my spot. I said, well there's a whole couch here, but FDH patted his lap and she started to lay on him. I went to move and FDH held me back (I guess he thought he'd hold both his 'girls' at the same time. Well I yanked myself away and went to my usual spot on the other side of the couch while they did their usual lovey dovey crap.

I didn't even have the energy to say anything to him about it so I just didn't talk to him the rest of the night.

It's hard to know what's normal when people have different opinions about these things, but it just feels wrong when they're over there cuddling as I'm on the other end. As I've said before, most of the time I feel as though I'm just to suck it up since she's only here half the time and I get to cuddle with him the other half, and after she goes to sleep (unless she's up late, which happens a lot).

Ugh!