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SS now 6 has been doing chores since he was 4. He started out taking out the trash and feeding the dog and cats and of course putting away his things.

He and SDs 8 and 11, do dishes, laundry, vacumme, sweep, mop, clean the bathroom and dust. They don't do those things all the time, but pretty often. They live with us and visit their mom EOWe and Thursdays. Usually every time they are with us, SS takes out the trash and feeds the pets. They are responsible for their own laundry, with prompts. And about two nights a week, a kid does the dishes.

I guess BM does their laundry at her house because one day they were whining about doing their laundry at our house and how come they have to. I just told them, "Sorry guys, but your momma doesn't live here. Get to it!"

DH tells them that his only job as a parent is to teach them how to be adults and laundry and taking care of a house is part of that.

"So you need to harp on them - I do, just makes me that much more evillllll muahhahahaaha...LOL"

ditto!!!! i love to do my evil laugh too!

I think that feeling sorry for them,or himself because they are "only" there so many days a week is crap.. a job as a parent is to set 18 yr olds loose in the world who can be productive members of society.. not sympathy seeking losers who depend on someone to feel bad for them so they can get it done for them.
You have rules in your house and that is the way it is..
if you want their beds made, then they make them or they get no tv, computer, video games or whatever for that day.. now would their dad rather them go without something for the day or spend a few mins doing what they should because they are old enough.. stick to it too, even if you have to take the mouse and hide it, or the cords and controlers to the games.. You are not their maid, you are not there to clean up their crap..
My biological kids have had jobs since they were old enough to walk (age appropriate though, like picking up binkys) Skids were WILD when they moved in, couldnt even open the door and they would be gone, didnt use silverware, almost 5 yrs old and still not potty trained, getting up and taking drinking medicines out of the fridge.. it was bad.. I put my foot down and said NO MORE.. do it yourself.. take control.. they are not great and wonderful now, but wayyy better than they use to be!

My BF daughter doesn't do anything....she says she can't because she is too small and everyone buys it. She makes the most terrible messes....she gets a little prompt every now and then but never cleans anything up..her father who works 24 hours a day sometimes cleans it up. She never has any consequence to any of her actions and she doesn't clean her room...make the bed...do anything in the kitchen...absolutely nothing and she is praised for being such a good girl.

Sorry I went off and didn't even answer the question. My Bio children started doing chores at about 6 or so. My daughter could actually cook a simple meal and bake at 10. My sons and my daughter took out the trash, kept their rooms clean (kinda...LOL), and took dirty clothes to laundry room, and helped with the yard.

All I ask is that when my SK's are her for there visitation, is that the leave with the there room looking like it did when the got there. They don't have much stuff as they are only here EOW. And they take home everything they bring with them. There dirty clothes go into a sack for the BM to wash. Of course when they are here for a longer stay, I will wash them. My DH get made at me if I ask them to help clean. So I don't clean on the Friday they come and wait till Monday morning to do it. Not that the house is a total mess, I am a neat freak, but Its hard to keep picking up after 3 kids and a DH than it is 1 kid and a DH.

So I don't make my DD do any chores. She used to before I was married, and she will help if I ask her to with no argument. However she does keep her room clean most of the time.

but to answer the question, I taught her to put her toys away a 2 she learned to put things back in the toy box if she got them out. And she learned to cook at 8. She can make a mean batch of Choc. Chip cookies too!

I have a BS18 that short of handing him my checkbook and paying the bills here can pretty much "keep house". I got my house back in'09 but me and bd's didn't move out from bf and heathens until school was out (yeah i know) so as not to leave him completely in the lurch with childcare since his own folks though they promised to help him with them didnt step up. My son: mowed grass, took out trash, did dishes, fed animals, did laundry, unpacked boxes as they showed up, etc. Oh, and also got himself in, out and about for school on time. Why can't grown men function this way?? OT kind of I know, but I have asked and taught my kids since they were at least big enough to motor around without the fear of falling especially if they were carrying say an odd shaped toy. Had them bring dirty clothes-taught them: colors, whites and towels. Room cleaning was easy enough: toys, trash, and laundry. Simple things they can understand on their age level-when they're little (2-3ish)-their own toys, clothes (if any just laying about)4-6: laundry for sure-either bringing dirty, emptying a front load dryer, putting away clean (theirs for sure) non-awkward things for others (I usually just asked them to put on my bed parents laundry). Dishes I wasnt comfortable with until they were taller (but needed a sturdy stool to boost them a bit), 7-8ish and only unbreakable things: plastic and silverware (no knives). If you're bd15-never because momma and daddy both princessed you way too much (guilty and paying for it now) you were a gilr and cute ugghh, but she can cook and very well at that. She is just a slacker with chores and participating with our small family. Makes her brother quite angry that she's both disrespectful and lazy as he puts it. If you are ss7 and sd8, you have a disney day, a trashy home-apparently he wasn't taught basic life skills either and so is not passing on but bad habits. You get to claim "I'm tired" to daddy when stepdragon says you need to help clean a room you share and he says you can go to bed. Soooo, your crap ends up thrown on your bed out of other folks spaces and SD role model (not) gets pissy with said lazy disrespectful bd15 who gets her brand new makeup swiped by then sd6, stowed in her backpack and when caught just petted and told "we don't do that". Anywho, back on track off ranting soapbox. Teach them as early as you think they can understand; get help from DH to back up what is expected and why.

**No gratitude? only attitude? thanks, but I'll pass**

**I only have one shot at a truly great life and not one spent waiting for a man to notice me, want me, love me and be true to only me. 2010 is the year of "me" **

my SD is 9 and SS is five. We have them every other weekend and two nights a week, I made a chore list of simple things they need to learn such as , pick up toys, put dirty clothes in basket, brush teeth, make bed, finish dinner, sleep in own bed, etc... For each chore they complete, they get a star.
For 10 stars, they earn a trip to the $ store and if they wait and earn 20, we go to Walmart or Target and get something under $5. The kids love it! We've been using this for the past year. I was getting tired of cleaning up their messes:-)

Ours combined are 6,9,10,11 and EVERYONE helps with the chores...you know the "cleanup" song from Barny? All my kids know it...It teaches them responsibility and how to take care of themselves.

When I first moved in this house was a mess, My husband had been trying to clean up from her and keep up with the 2 kids plus working sometimes 80 hours a week. The thing he had been previosully married too was very lazy, literally ice cream for breakfast and 3 naps a day. Whenever my SK come back from their moms they try to be lazy for like 2 days before they get back into the groove..My SS actually came home a few times and said t me "its YOUR job, your the maid" I was like oh really?..guess who became the maid ;)..in short, long as they can walk and make a mess , they can clean, just have to keep it reasonable for their age. Its a part of life and a necessity..look at all these darn hoarders show..its not a mental illness it laziness..that american physcologists have gotten a payday off of... Too many kids are disrespectful and lazy these days. Chores ain't never hurt no one :).

~Chrissie

Loving Wife to David, Mother and friend to Dannie, Lizzie, Stephie and Willie

all the kids here have tried to get money to clean.. I dont get paid for doing it, they live here, they should take pride in their house and want it clean for the sake of it being clean. We have a wii, ps2,2 pools.. every kid has a laptop,4wheeler and a nintendo ds, and a brand new bike every year.. now if they want to start buying their own gas for the 4 wheelers, and bikes, and games and pool toys and internt.. then I would be more than happy to pay them.. when I put it to them like that they seen things differently. and I still continue to put things in a tote in my closet that they didnt pick up.. I know SS will get in trouble for not having his binder and books at school today, but he shouldnt have had them all spead out on the table when he left to go to his mothers.. we still had to eat when he left he is almost 13 and has been told countless times I would take them and not give them back for a week..but I guess he wanted to test me.. so he is at school today without his things.. I am not his maid, I am not here to serve him.. and I am proving it, as mean as it sounds. (I am not gonna keep it for a week this time, but will if it happens again)

wow, you guys are good! my bf son is 6, doesn't really do any cleanup at all! maybe i will have to start putting my foot down. my bf totally babies him, it's kind of sickening. the kid can't even shut the damn playstation off when he's done, hello....the electric bill!! leaves his star wars guys everywhere, etc. this has totally opened my eyes that 6..(going on 7 in july) isn't too young to start. thanks for enlightening me!!

My husband thinks the same thing! Since my SD lives here 4 days a week he feel she should not have to partake in chores! My 3 yr old does more than my SD does! It causes many arguments because I was not brought up that way! My brother & I always had to help with household duties!!

*eyeroll* Yes lets baby our kids to not have chores sow hen they grow up, they dont want to get a job..or clean their house..or have kids and not clean them...then guess what? They live off you..smart smart..not teaching responsibility..gives a lifelong lesson of non responsibility...maybee they should think about that.

~Chrissie

Loving Wife to my hubby, Mother and friend to our darlings.

Please teach them while they're young. My 27 year old SD never had any chores so when I moved in it was a battle to get her to do anything because DH did everything for her. At one point he asked me to get dirty linen from her room so he could wash it. I told him he had lost his mind if he thought we were going to do HER laundry. I reminded him that she's an adult not 5 years old (you can bet that hasn't happened again). After feeling my wrath, he finally put his foot down and told her she had to contribute to the household by picking up after herself and doing chores.

I couldn't believe how he'd enabled her to become a lazy slob. Her bedroom is such a pig sty that when company comes over we quickly close her door. I feel sorry for her future husband because you can't teach what you haven't been taught.

Now that she has chores, she has an incentive to move. If parents continue to do everything why would adult children want to ever move out?