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Am I crazy?

ivymlk's picture

Really, maybe it's just me! I don't know. I posted on here a few months ago about me having a chat with SS8. I told him I loved him and wanted him to know that and things were going pretty good with us for a while but here we go again. He has such an overly strong attachment to DH and for the most part I can understand but it gets worrysome to me when SS8 follows DH around all day every day. To the extent that when DH is in the bathroom SS EIGHT (almost 9) he stands outside the door and waits for him. If DH sits next to me SS will litterally step on top of me and try to squeeze himself in between us. I never say a word about any of this despite how much it bothers me. I just let him do what he's gotta do and try to be happy but he is at a point now where he has been blinking his eyes really hard and constantly. I was reading that could be a sign of anxiety or depression in children which is no surprise since his drug addict mother can only have 1 hour a week supervised visits with him at this point. I feel so bad for him and try to do everything I can for him but living this way 24 hours a day 7 days a week except for that 1 hour is becoming more and more difficult. I love my husband and he is a good man and he is a terrific father except that he lacks in the discipline department. I am sure he does this because everyone feels like they need to walk around on tipy toes with this kid but I don't. Whenever DH isn't around SS8 is either constantly asking where he is, when he'll be home, talking back to me and just plain rude. I have a BS8 as well and SS8 is SO mean to him at times. I usually let them be kids and let BS take care of it himself but sometimes I find myself stepping in (usually only if it gets physical or I can't stand hearing it anymore). DH was not home yesterday so I took the boys for pizza and of course a fight between the boys started and I was getting embarrassed at the restaurant so I softly raised my voice and SS gave me the most evil eyes I have ever seen and told me that I am the only person who ever yells at him. I said well I'm not afraid to tell you when you're being a brat.

Since that comment happened 24 hours ago that's all I can think about. It's bugging me. He's right. No one else ever repremands this kid and it is really disturbing. The one other thing with DH that pisses me off is if my son is acting up and I am trying to deal with it, he doesn't hesitate to yell at my son. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. I guess being a stepparent is more frustrating to everyone then being a birth parent but these issues really upset me. I discussed with DH that SS should maybe see a therapist. Just to show I wasn't pointing out SS's flaws, I brought my son to a therapist (the therapist wondered why we were there, lol.) BS enjoyed it. It was 3 short sessions. But DH got highly defensive over SS talking to somebody because there isn't anything wrong with precious. The kid has issues!!! But not my place I guess?

Vent complete...makes me feel better to share I guess.