My feeling on that is this : If I were 37 and wanted a kid, I would just have a kid and tell H it was an "oopsie". Im 22 and my H is so shook from BabyMomma that he literally almost cries at the mention of having a child - but when the time comes... I'm gonna get me my "oopsie" or two :). If youre on BC, stop. Throw them down the drain so it looks like youre taking them. If you need to be on fertility drugs, go to the gyno, make an appointment, and get them. Dont tell H. Screw him. Its not only the right time if you want a kid, but at 37, its pretty much the ONLY time. He's got a kid. Now you get a kid. }:) Thats just me, of course. Good Luck.

I am both a BM & SM...can honestly tell you that its much better to have peace without kids. I guess at 37 you may feel the need to have kids before its too late. Having kids is overated.

i have heard this "Having kids is overated." many times and hope it's true, especially if i can't have a bio... plus the more i see the world going to hell, do i really want to bring a child into it??

my selfish ass still wants a baby...so i keep trying and hoping and praying...

I love my SD4's dearly but I know some of the resentment and frustration I feel about being just a SM will be lessened when me and DH have our own little one. I would also say that being denied having my own children because DH already has two would be a deal breaker for me as well.

Don't let anyone else sway you when it comes to this very personal and important decision. Have a baby because you want one and want to be a mom and love and raise a sweet, kind and happy child. Having a baby to make peace, help your step-parenting or any other reason is a slippery slope leading straight to unhappiness. If you want a baby and your H doesn't then you will have to weigh and choose who and what you want more. I married a man with two sons. He didn't want any more (especially given how they have turned out so far) and never really wanted kids in the first place. I made it clear from the beginning that adopting a baby girl is something that I am going to do, no arguments or discussion. Luckily, he has become really excited over having a baby with me and is now 100% behind the plan, but in the beginning he agreed and respected that since I have to live with his life choices (and mistakes) he will live with my life choices. The first time he brought up his burgeoning enthusiasm was when he saw me playing with my nephew for the first time. Nephew had just learned to walk, but was still very cuddly and wanted lots of kisses and cuddles from his devoted auntie. I adore that little man more than the world and H said his heart melted from seeing me with a "baby" that I love. He also appreciates the love and care I put into his kids, although that's a little different as they are older and I didn't know them as babies (SS6 was 3 when we married). Figure out your bottom line and stick to it. I think you only have one shot at life (that I know of) and you shouldn't miss out on the dream of motherhood for someone else. Compromise is important, but some dreams are too sacred and important to lose. Go with your heart and your husband will follow. If he doesn't, he's not the right one for you. This is just my opinion! You know your situation better than me, a total stranger to you, but that's my opinion based on what you've written. Good luck!

P.S. My nephew is the sweetest little kid in the Universe, in my opinion and I could not love him more. Having him in my life is a non-negotiable, but it has not made step-parenting easier because my nephew just makes the flaws in my skids even more glaringly obvious. It's depressing in holiday pictures to see my sweet little ball of sunshine giving me his biggest grin with his little dimples and big blue eyes and then you have my gangly older skid who looks like a beaver because he inherited crooked, bucked teeth from BM and my younger BM who looks suicidally depressed at all times and isn't capable of genuine smiles for pictures. He either looks sulky or he pulls his teeth back in a grimace that he seems to think is an acceptable substitute for a smile. In personality, intelligence, sweetness, kindness, social skills, generosity, manners, and general behavior my nephew is off the charts (and it's not just my auntie bias, he gets amazing feedback from everyone who knows him and all his teachers at pre-school). Both of my skids have serious mental challenges, are extremely slow learners, have minimal social skills and shine in no areas at all. They're not smart, they're not athletic. They're not unusually kind or loving or talented in some non-academic area. They are just duds. There is really nothing special about them whatsoever and seeing them side by side with my nephew is just depressing...

I am doing my best to improve them and make them better people, but when I just want to feel happy and bask in the pure joy that comes from being around a child you adore and who is so special and talented naturally, I go hang with my little neph, because he's the number one little guy in my heart and I can only handle so much below-average for so long...I signed on to be a step-mom, not a special ed teacher and sometimes it feels like I am one...