You are here

Am I wrong? How can this behavior be acceptable?

notthebradybunch6's picture

As I have written before my husbands ex-wife filed for an exparte custody order last July, claiming the boys were in danger in our home. My husband had custody of the boys for more than 7 years, never had a complaint from DSS, schools, anywhere, on either one of us. The court just yanks the kids with out any kind of investigation. We have been to court a few times, our lawyer asked for a DSS investigation to prove what she was saying was a complete lie, but her lawyer has sat on it, so here we are nearly 6 months later and further along in the fight. So we have found out quite a bit in the time she has had the boys.

She is having the 9 year old go out and shoot squirrels then skin them and then she cooks for dinner, she had her car repossessed, she lives in an out building not big enough for two people let alone 4, her husband lost ANOTHER job, she is telling the boys that she cried for days the last time she lost custody of them, she scheduled and IEP and never informed my husband, she has told the teachers not to let my husband get the boys school bags on the Fridays he has them, even goes to the school 30 minutes before dismissal to pick up the school bags, and she refused to let my husband have the report cards when they were supposed to come home on his weekend. The oldest is failing every subject, and has poor marks in bahvior, something he never had an issue with while living with us.

The reason I am on her tonight is not because of his ex- she is a waste of oxygen, its my husbands mother. We have found out that my husbands mother not only planned with ex-wife to file the ex-parte order in advance of her filing (she actually picked the date she wanted the BM to file), we found she is paying for her lawyer, she is taking the children to all their doctors appointments and not informing my husband which doctors they are seeing, or for the reason, she continually demands she gets a medical card, to which my husband tells her if she is taking the boys to doctors for his ex- then his ex can provide her with the card he gave to her. Tonight my evil MIL, contacted my husband and asked if he would pick the boys up from her house this Thursday when his visitation began, that she had to take him to a doctor appointment. When my husband asked who the doctor was, she refused to give him the information unless he started calling her.

The woman is a classic narcissist who actually demanded to go to marriage therapy with my husband and I when we were having trouble. She has repeatedly inserted herself into the custody issues, my marriage, the very household rules we have in this house. Is this not the most outrageous woman you have ever heard of? Am I wrong to be outraged by this woman?

notthebradybunch6's picture

I feel really bad for him, his Dad died in 2001, and he is adopted, the only child. I explain to him that I am his family, but it is hard on him knowing his Mother would do such terrible things just because he won't do what she wants. He is going on 35 and this is not a new game his mother is playing. From what I understand anytime he doesn't do what she wants she tries to take something important away from him. It used to just be money, she is loaded, but this time around he has proven to himself and to her that he doesn't need her money, so she helped take his boys away.

Mylilmonsters's picture

Uh, wow. That's awful. My mil did several similar things a few years ago. Thankfully we are all on good terms again. Forgave, but we won't forget.

notthebradybunch6's picture

She keeps saying that she is doing what she thinks is best for the boys. The truth is she is doing what is best for her, she knows she can buy influence in the boys lives through the mother, and that my husband doesn't want her money anymore because of the strings that come with it.

When she was informed about the oldest childs grades all she did is make excuses for the bio mom. It is simply ridiculous.

AND the whole thing with his mother refusing to tell my husband what doctor she is taking the boys too, she herself is a nurse practioner, and knows that it is my husband's right to know what doctors and whats medical services they are taking the boys too. It is more important to her to bend my husband to her will.

notthebradybunch6's picture

Yeah, thank God we have a good therapist who told my husband that would be extremely inappropriate and give his mother the idea she was "actually" in a position of power in our relationship.

fedup13's picture

My MIL is the most controlling, manipulative, overbearing whacko I have ever met. She did a real number on DH raising him and is directly related to why skid is so looney. She tried to pull her controlling, hypocritical, judgmental bullshit on me early in our relationship and I told her off and cut her out of our lives for over a year. Due to choosing the lesser of two evils, either be around skid more or let her back in so she can keep him because I refuse to now, she is back in our lives, but I have very little to do with her and she knows not to go to far with me now. If I were you, cut her out.