Anyone talk to their ex's New MIL? Good idea, yes or no?
My ex-husband’s new mother-in-law friend requested me on Facebook when her daughter married my ex, and we have talked via email for a while now. I never really looked at it from the perspective of her daughter until now. (The MIL has asked that I keep it a secret.) Now I think it’s sort of wrong. Anyone else have this weird relationship? My ex does not even like to acknowledge I exist and has done his best to make sure his new wife doesn’t want to communicate with me. (He has borderline personality disorder.) Anyway, I saw communicating with her mother as a way to let the ‘other side’ know I am not a horrible person and am approachable. That was my intent. Now, I just sort of wish I had never accepted her friend request now...it’s sort of hard to move on when you’re caught in their drama or if she wants to know if my ex is lying or not. Then, I get talk to her about it and explain how he works, etc. and then she comes back and says I need to leave the past in the past and move on…or doesn’t respond for a while…then when he does something else she writes again. Each time I am nice and we talk off and on and then she emails back that she is tired, etc, and I just think it's rude. Should I keep talking to her or maybe nip this in the bud? I feel used, and I really wouldn’t want my mom talking to my husband’s ex-wife. (He doesn’t have one…but if he did, lol)
I agree with Brie above.
I agree with Brie above. Sounds like she may have some pause to her daughter marrying your Ex. In particular, just wanting to dig up dirt about him. I'd delete her, she's obviously dishonest and holds no loyalty to you. She's probably stalking your page. Do yourself a favor and delete potential drama.
I just always like to assume
I just always like to assume the best about people. Just thought she was curious as was I. But, yes, I'm realizing it has less to do with friendship and more to do with being nosy. I just wanted to be seen as a nice person and not what I know my ex portrays me as. =\ Why I still feel the need to put out all those fires, I have no idea.
I agree with Brie. Weird for
I agree with Brie. Weird for her to even try to talk to you... My mother will occasionally be around BM (at school functions) and she will say hello and that is it. If my mother even tried to be her friend, I'd be so mad lol....
Unfriend her.
In the MIL's defense. I think
In the MIL's defense. I think she knew her daughter had a habit of picking bad men and was curious what she had gotten into. The situation with my ex is very difficult, and her daughter married my ex after only knowing him a few months. But yes, still wrong to be talking to her. Going to stop. Thanks for your input.
>>> I think she knew her
>>> I think she knew her daughter had a habit of picking bad men and was curious what she had gotten into. <<<
That's most likely it. BPD can be a hard thing to live with (for everyone involved), and for us sane people who have never heard of it before, BPD behaviours can be awfully baffling! I suspect she was just doing 'research' when she reached out to you, trying to gain more perspective about the man her daughter is living with. However, you have filled her in with as much information as you possibly can, there is no need to continue communication with her, especially since she doesn't seem to communicate with you in a respectful manner.
Are you familiar with BPD?
Are you familiar with BPD? I'm having a hard time to say the least, LOL. Ever deal with being the target of a distortion campaign with someone with BPD? I have been the target of my ex for the past 6 years since our divorce. I can't seem to stop trying to defend myself. I do much better than I used to, but still admit I have my moments. That's why I accepted her friend request...hoping she'd see i'm not all those things. But I agree, too, I have no more information to give her. That is their problem now. Hope I can let it go. =\
Is there any question that
Is there any question that you should unfriend her? Move on. This is about you not moving on and has little to do with your XHs new MIL or wife.
IMHO of course.
absolutely no reason for
absolutely no reason for this. your ex's life and new family is none of your concern. unfriend.