Apparently we are stupid…..
And cannot count, cannot tell what day of the week it is…..yep just stupid. DH’s new mediation agreed upon visitation schedule is for him to have SD’s (SD13 & SD11) 3 “weekends” a month, Thursday evening – Monday morning. He is supposed to have them the 1st, 2nd and 4th weekend each month. Well the first weekend of this month fell with the 1st being on Saturday, SD’s didn’t come just because they didn’t want to (OSD hasn’t come to see DH in almost a year). The second weekend YSD came but didn’t come till Saturday. Last weekend was not his, so yesterday he sent his girls a text telling them that he is stuck in Arkansas due to work and won’t be back until Saturday but he will pick them up then. Conversation went like this:
DH: hey girls I can’t pick you up tonight because I am stuck in Arkansas, I am really sorry. I was supposed to be home today but ran into some problems so I won’t be home till Saturday but I will pick you up as soon as I get home.
SD’s: What???
DH: This is my weekend but I am stuck in Arkansas I cant pick you up till Saturday.
SD’s: This is NOT your weekend.
DH: Yes, it’s the 4th weekend of the month.
SD’s: NO!! This is the 3rd weekend of the month. There is no 4th this month.
I am so tired of watching him hurt over this kind of BS. He can fight it all he wants with BM but it does not matter, their CO says he cannot force the girls to see him.
Well, it really does depend
Well, it really does depend on when their order says the w/e starts. Friday start is pretty normal, which does make this the 3rd w/e of the month.
Me personally? NOPE, we are
Me personally? NOPE, we are a much happier family when SD's are not around and even DH will admit to that but they are his daughters and I know he misses and loves them unconditionally and even though those girls have cause hell for us I want him to have a relationship with his kids. I have to remind myself all of the time of the reason they are the way they are. Even at 11 and 13 they are still children and their behavior is learned, it is what they have been taught by their BM. It is not WHO we fight against it is WHAT we fight for.
Yep it is very tricky, but
Yep it is very tricky, but BOTH attorneys have agreed that if the 1st day of the month falls on Saturday it is considered the first weekend of the month. Saturday and Sunday constitute as a weekend, he gets them Thursday before the weekend starts. There are in the very least 4 weekends in a month EVERY month. But it does not matter what anyone says BM only agrees with herself.
He needs the way the w/e
He needs the way the w/e falls clarified by the court. What the lawyers agree on is moot - it is what the order/court says that matters.
With teenagers I'd tell them
With teenagers I'd tell them that they can visit when they want to - just let me know when. Of course it will be mostly birthdays and Christmas when the one way gifts will be a small piece of jewelry (being female). Since the return on investment (time spent visiting daddy) is poor (a crummy piece of jewelry) even those visits will soon end. Then I'd just wait until they mature.
Oh he has tried the "when you
Oh he has tried the "when you wanna come let me know", but this is a case of damned if you do and damned of you don't. When he stopped asking them to come every weekend he got non-stop texts and calls from BM demanding to know why he wasn't asking for them, constant bashing telling him how worthless he was because he didn't even ask for them, it was just non-stop. So he went back to sending reminder texts saying he would be there to pick them up and now its either we don't want to be with you or its not your weekend. Its just a game to BM so she can try to make his life as miserable as what she is.
I had never thought about
I had never thought about having him call the Judge and request a court date to clarify the CO. OOOHHH I like that idea. I do believe i will be having him call the court clerk office to see if this can be arranged.
Does the CO specify what day
Does the CO specify what day constitute the beginning of the weekend? My CO was very clear and spelled it out. The first weekend starts on the first Friday of the month. The Third weekend starts on the third Friday of the month. ECT.
Just because the lawyers agree to something, does not make it right. It needs to be clarified via the CO. In all actuality...this would be the 3rd weekend for a great percentage of CO's.
No the CO does not specify
No the CO does not specify much more than he cannot force them come and that they have 50/50 joint custody. But even if we gave and did consider this the 3rd weekend of the month then when he tries to take them next weekend BM will tell him it is neither the 4th weekend of February nor the 1st weekend of March because the whole Thursday evening - Monday morning does not fall in one month. We had that problem a few months ago.
You are right the CO is bs.
You are right the CO is bs. He wants to have a good healthy relationship with his girls, and BM does nothing but bash him, tell the girls they do not have to see him, and only encourages them to contact them when they want something/money.