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Are You Kidding Me???

kalinda's picture

SD’s 12 & 14 rarely come see us, we havent see either one of them for the past 10 weeks. We saw YSD12 over Thanksgiving at DH’s family get together. Some of you may remember that against my advice DH stupidly agreed during mediation about a year ago that neither girl can be forced to visitation so there is nothing he can do about them not coming. When DH saw YSD12 over the holiday he asked her why she would not come see him, she refused to give an answer. Friday night the following conversation occurred through text.
SD: you want to know why I won’t come see you?

DH: Why?

SD: Because KaLinda and her boys are there and when I come they shouldn’t be there because it is my time with you not theirs.

DH: So you think they should leave when you are here?

SD: Yes because it is my time with you not theirs

DH: Where do you think they should be?

SD: I don’t care just not there

DH: KaLinda is my wife and this is her home, she will always be here.

SD: She can leave for the 4 days a week I am there.

DH: So that means if your mom ever gets remarried that her husband would have to leave while you are there?

SD: Not if I like him

DH: So you are back to saying you don’t like KaLinda

SD: Yep

DH: Do you really think I could force her to leave her home for 4 days a week?

SD: If you really loved me you would

DH: I do really love you but she is my wife and she is not going anywhere.

SD: That’s really mean, you are choosing your wife over your REAL kids.

DH: I am not choosing anyone or anything, she is my wife you are my child, you do not call the shots. I love you and I want to see you but you will not tell me how things run in my house.

SD: You love her more than you love me

DH: I love you equally but you are my child and will not tell me I have to choose.

SD: Then I won’t come see you.

DH: Then I guess you have made your decision. I am tired of chasing after you and your sister begging you to spend time with me. I am tired of getting my feelings hurt by you both. You know where I am and how to reach me but I am done chasing you. I love you, good night.

This little self entitled, spoiled, hateful brat really thinks that the person that pays the mortgage on the house should leave 4 days a week to make her happy???? I DON’T THINK SO!!!

Teas83's picture

:jawdrop:

I don't even know what to say. What a brat. I'm so glad that your husband stood up to her.

zerostepdrama's picture

WOW! What a little brat!

I think your DH handled that pretty well.

YSD once asked DH if I was going to "stand in her way of moving in with DH". Ummm its MY HOUSE. I own it. I bought it before I married DH. Its not called "standing in the way" it's called I am the adult, I pay the bills and I call the shots.

I seriously dislike teenage girls. LOL

kalinda's picture

DH bought the house while him and I were still dating, when he moved in he asked me to move in with him AFTER he had asked both of his girls if they were ok with it. They both said yes and then about 6 months later the crap started. They both think that if something ever happens to him they get the house, they have told me repeatedly it is THEIR house not mine. Ummm Nope, DH has had my name added to the deed.

Evil stepmonster's picture

Good for your DH. I'm so sorry they have demanded him to choose. That's unfair to your DH. He's in my prayers.

kalinda's picture

Thank you so much, I keep praying that something will change with these girls and they will want to spend time with their dad but I am the evil stepmother....

hereiam's picture

Oh man, she's got a lot of nerve, what a brat.

My DH would've laughed his ass off if his daughter had ever given him an ultimatum like that.

twopines's picture

She's only 12?? Yikes if I had spoken to my dad like that I probably wouldn't be alive today.

z3girl's picture

Wow. Good for your DH.

We had a similar situation with SDthen15. She wanted to see DH without me, but DH said no. Similar to what your DH wrote. Luckily it only took a couple months for her to get over it.

kalinda's picture

Thank you everyone for your comments and support. Exhausted your words are exactly how I feel, my kids mean the world to me but they are not my entire world, they will eventually move on without me. I love them with everything that I am because I gave birth to them but they do not rule my every move.

ocs's picture

I'm not a bio, but my friends who are, always tell me the same thing...

The best and proudest moments they have as parents are when they see their children independent and acting responsibly and able to take care of themselves. NOT if they are behaving like clingy selfish brats...

Your DH is the bomb! Mine did the same thing 2 yrs ago with SDthen13. BM coached her to believe that I was taking away all DH's time and SD had a melt down. DH didn't cave and told her she made her decision and 'see ya'.

now, SD comes over here and there but is polite and for the most part stays out of my way.

furkidsforme's picture

Holy Moly, that must have been some kind of painful for your hubby, but good for him for standing his ground. Because honestly, if it weren't you it would be the next girlfriend/wife... and the next, and the next. That man deserves a medal. Or a blow job. Whichever.

Stormyweather's picture

Sounds to me to be seeds planted from her BM more than anything...especially if they were fine with things 6 months ago.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Goodness, your SD sounds like my SD19 who stayed on my couch all 5 days over break. For at least 6 hours at a time. Entitled!

So glad your DH put her in her place. My DH has lost his sack.

NotHerMom's picture

Good point. That is one of my main issues with my husband, and why I see SD16 as "Mini Wife", because he's always allowing her to insert herself into adult decisions that she should really have no say in. She is a CHILD, and unless she's planning to pay her share of the household expenses, she has absolutely no say in what goes on in the house in my opinion!

To the original poster: good for your husband! That had to be hard for him, but he not only stood up for himself, but you too! Smile

Ex4life's picture

Is he sure he was really conversing with SD? The first comments about why she wouldn't come over shouts BM speak. I am so sorry for your DH though. So sad.