BD vent
Seriously dislike my ex. He has a change in work schedule. Emails and asks if we can change exchange time to 5pm. (Normally he picks up from school). I said we can change but 6pm works better for me. He responses, why? So I told him DS8 has a class he wants to take from 440-530. (BD doesn't even take kids to bday parties for friends because it interferes with his time). Once again what class?
I seriously wanted to respond, you are asking for a favor. I told you what works for me. Do you agree or not? But he would just say or not. And I would rather see my daughter for 2-3 hrs after school.
What is it with BD and BM's that think we should just do what they want even when they are asking for favors. And if they don't like it then we are wrong.
He had a change in work schedule this summer and he asked to switch his weekends for weekdays for a month. I told him I can give him sometime during the day and maybe one over night but trying to do this 24 hours prior doesn't work we have plans here too. So because I wouldn't give him the exact days he wanted he had them with babysitters or at work with him for a month. He would have had better use of his time had he realized I was working with him but he wasn't going to get everything he wanted.
It is just FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!
I hate that. BM in my
I hate that. BM in my situation feels that she is entitled to switching the weekends that we have had for over 3 years. We have tried to make a compromise with her that would give everyone something they want, while also not giving anyone everything they want, but she insists on getting her way. Never takes no for an answer, just repeats that we haven't given her an answer at all. We have plans for our current weekends with SD. Some plans are in October already. SHe also refuses to take my S/O to court to change it, because she does not feel that the court has any say in how the time is split for each parent. WTH. She will love it when she gets in trouble for contempt.
Why do BM/BF feel entitled to change everything in a CO even if the other parent does not agree?
My BF and his BM do this crap
My BF and his BM do this crap all the time. And they both get mad at each other for not doing what the other person wants. I just sit back and laugh. I try to explain to BF that you have to give people notice and it may not always work out in your favor.
He responses, why? So I told
He responses, why? So I told him
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First mistake. Not his business. You should have told him that you were busy. Period. You could out and out tell him that it is none of his business, but it sounds like this would cause more issues with this guy.
I know. But with BD
I know. But with BD EVERYTHING other then yes, I will bow down to you is an arguement. I almost just said yes, just so I could have the time but then told him 6pm would work better because BS has been asking for months about this class and can only go on my weekend.
I decided to be annoyed and frustrated for BS. It worked out fine, because BD doesn't have a choice right now and no one but him can pick up kid from school. He doesn't have legal custody so when it comes to school I set who picks them up.
But what should have been a 4 email process ( his question, my response, his ok, and my thanks I will have them until 6pm on Fridays then) turns into 9 emails from him. It is just soooo stupid!!!!!!!!
I guess he can pay for
I guess he can pay for childcare.
Hold him to the child
Hold him to the child visitation order. Ask no favors and grant none with sickness being the only exception in which case the kids stays in the custodial parents home - the childs home.
To the minute - no exceptions. After a few years we'll talk - maybe.
I ask for no favors. I have
I ask for no favors. I have them 80% of the time and don't need his help. He asks a lot. But to be honest I would rather them here. If verbal abuse was easily proven he wouldn't even have visitation. I have an RO against him for things I could prove.
I asked for court ordered phone time for BD Tuesday-Thursday from 7-730 because he called my phone 41 times in 2 days. And both kids were upset Tuesday getting off them phone because this was my weekend, he hadn't talked to them since Thursday and they were playing with each other, laughing and goofing around. He made BD10 cry because he got mad I took them to the movies, and she was singing the song from it, when she asked what he wanted to do this weekend he told her your distracted and not paying attention to me. I haven't talked to you since Thursday and you don't want to talk to me, do put your brother on the phone. BS8 got on the phone and he laid into him about how they are always distracted and don't talk to him and he is tired of it. Court order says call is to be 5 mins longer if child wants to talk because I had a voicemail from him saying it is his 30 mins and if he wants to listen to them breathe for 30 mins he will.
Then he sent me an email about how I'm interfering with his phone calls, I have been fixing a vacuum during his call, whispering, being loud or tickling them while on the phone with him. Truth, I play solitary while they are on the phone, was fixing a vacuum once, and some was talking to him about it (don't know how that inters am I suppose to stop living while they are on the phone) I don't talk to them other to tell them to talk on the phone. And he had had them playing Yahtzee the last 3 weekends during my phone time (Sat) telling them to take their turn, figuring out what they rolled blah blah blah.
I told him straight out they are kids and don't want to be on the phone. Normally my call with them is less then 5 mins total. Just a what have you been up to? Have fun see you Monday love you. I don't make them stay on the phone. He has them promise to talk more, says he won't do anything with them if they don't. Has rewarded BS for talking (ice cream) and has BD watch BS eat it.
So were I don't want to do him any favors and just want to follow the court order, the less they are there the better.
It is so hard to do what I feel is best, follow the court order to a T and do what I feel is best for my kids.
He has already lost legal custody of them. And I've been building a case for supervised visits.
You can't fix clueless or
You can't fix clueless or stupid so don't even try.
Hang in there.