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Being a Mother - Opinions Wanted

Elena's picture

If your child was having surgery, tonsils removed, would you let someone else take the child home with them from the hospital and care for them for the next week? Reason the "mother needs a break" - The mother does nothing but play on myspace all day long. She doesn't work.

My opinion.

There isn't an army big enough to remove me away from my child, and no damn body else is going to care for her instead of me.

What do you think and how were you raised to do in a situation like this? Am I so wrong to think a Mother should be a Mother to the child?

My new name - Stunned and Shcoked!

Like they say: Just because a woman gives birth, it doesn't make her a Mother.

now4teens's picture

This "womb-donor" (Thanks, Rags- I'm borrowing) should not even be worthy of the title of "Mother" in this case.

A mother's first job is to care for her child, especially when the child is sick or injured (or in this case, recovering from surgery).

SHAME on her, whoever she is.

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

Tara12's picture

I am astounded everytime I come on this site and read these posts about these mothers. I think she is a self-centered piece of you know what. How could you not be there for your child for something like that? I am just so disgusted to even read this right now. She should not be allowed to be a parent - if she wants a "break" she should give up custody!

mysticalwolf71's picture

How can you do that, I could never leave my Bio kids or skids to someone else to take care of after surgery.

I always ask myself the same thing. I really don't understand what is going on in the BM head. My Skids BM has had 4 kids and only 1 with her. We have two, one is in CT with it's father and she has the other. Who knows what goes on in their heads.

I could never do it, my bond with my Bio boys is strong.

betterman's picture

Sounds like she needed something else! This "mother" sounds
a little self-centered. As a Father, I would never, never be without
my child during any event such as surgery. Sounds a little like my ex-
wife.

Sita Tara's picture

The hardest part of having a SM in my children's lives, was the times when I couldn't care for them when they were sick. Sons' SM stayed home for a year or so early on. This meant when the boys were ill and over there, she was with them. We hadn't been divorced more than a few months when she moved in with my ex.

That was a divorce reality check pretty fast.

When my BS 14 had a simple surgery, exH and I both were there, but I had BD with me who was still a baby. She was nursing too, so I couldn't stay past the recovery room time as BD and I both were in need of seeing each other in private by then!

My son was 11 or so, but I still felt horrible having to leave him with his DAD. Not because he needed me, but because I needed to be there.

That BM, is an absolutely poor excuse for a mother.

Your SK (can't remember if it's SD or SS) is very fortunate to have you.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

stepmom929's picture

Your quote says it all - giving birth DOESN'T make you a mother. I know that as well, I've been MOTHER to my ss6 for the last 2 years. He's seen his bm for MAYBE a total of 2 weeks over those two years...what's the reason? She's a lazy, selfish waste who would rather continue living her LOSER life of constant unemployment, legal trouble, fighting with her family, going to rehab now and then to get sympathy, etc...than to GROW UP and be a mother. She LOVES to think of herself as a victim, but the only victim here is her SON. I can't imagine how people like her can stand themselves.
I am not constantly angry about her like I used to be, I've come to terms with it and realized it's actually easier for my dh and I if she's not in the picture, but now and then when I'm taking HER son to school, the doctor, basketball games, I wonder what SHE's doing at that moment. Sitting on her fat ass feeling sorry for herself I'm sure. UGH.

smurfy1smile's picture

Both my girls had surgery the same day last summer and there was no way I was going anywhere away from them. I had to be almost forced to leave to get a drink and some air and go potty!

Elena's picture

The step grand child is doing good.

DH knows how I feel b/c I don't hold back when I get on a roll, but he keeps coming up with excuses as to why she went to her Nana's house.
1 - to give Mom a break
2 - Nana will spoil her and and dodt on her
3 - She will get better care there
* My remark - you're right
* His - Sd would take care of her too
* My thought - GD knows can't buge mom when she is passed out.
4 - Today's excuse is GD is afraid may have to go back to hospital is she bleeds and she is closer to the hospital at Nana's.
* My thought - GD knows can't buge Mom when she is passed out and also may leave her to go out.

DH is an enabler!

Okay GD will be in the next town over, is BM going to go home or stay there with her?

More later . . .

BTW - I had to work, and SD didn't want me there anyway, but I sent the best gift - I love this child and she does love me too.