BM loves Crotch-Crunchers
No real story here--just a good vent. So all Summer, BM has been sending her brat to us with clothes that are too small (and dirty). Earlier this Month she sent him wearing no underwear and only one pair in the bag for a 2week stay. So we had to buy stuff almost each visit just to get him through the visits. She has insisted all Summer that she is not buying SS8 any new clothes for School which starts next week. She said it's a waste of money because Fall is coming and she'll just wait until October to buy his clothes for school. Why this year she would decide it's too close to Fall is beyond me, because School has Always started late August and he always gets new school clothes from DH and her.
Anyway, an hour ago after pulling out yet another pair of crotch-crunchers, DH asked her what does he need for back to School -shorts, shirts, underwear, etc? So she responds with "Everything". Aha so she now acknowledges he needs stuff, which lead DH to ask her what then does she plan to buy. How about this b*tch said NOTHING. She claims he doesn't need anything bad enough that he can't tough it out until October. Uhm, excuse me--you send him here in ball crunching underwear and shorts so tight they ride into his fat butt and restrict his movement. He can't 'tough' that out!
I told DH we'd buy him one pair of shoes, backpack, 2 shorts, pair of pants, 3 shirts and packages of underwear and tshirts. We've already purchased all of the school supplies. At top of summer we bought several summer outfits because she sent him with too little stuff. This is a prime example of what we deal with with her all the time. And let me remind ya that this is not even DH's kid. You think she's appreciative or grateful that he stepped up to Father a kid she had by someone else during their marriage? No. It's always this kind of BS with her. Always manipulation like this--she thinks DH is going to buy everything because she knows we won't send the kid back to school with nothing so when Oct comes she'd not buy a thing. That's what she's counting on. But nope, not this time.
She brags about her 2000sq ft house, her Navigator, her $85K job. She has outfits matching down to the earrings and hair accessories for each. She goes out and parties weekly. Travels on vacations (without her kid) at least 4 times per year. This year alone she's been to Vegas, Bahamas, DC and this doesn't count all the weekends to Atlanta, beach, etc. She gets her hair done weekly. She paid over $5K for her Lapband a couple years ago and signed up for the fanciest gym in the city. Yet when it comes to her spending money on her kid, she always whines poor mouth and claims to need help all the time. I'm closing in on DH, putting a stop to this stuff and he's surprisingly starting to agree. He said he may only buy 1 outfit but he doesn't want the boy to suffer so I know we'll get at least what we agreed on. In past he'd go way overboard but I think my new approach is starting to trigger some understanding in him and he's slightly pulling back on being such a doormat.
Anyway, the dumb broad is in for a shock when he comes back with not much at all...
Check around for thrift shops
Check around for thrift shops and yard sales. You can buy a lot of good to gently worn stuff for cheap. My stepkid is super rough on clothes. So I quit buying new and just get used. If something gets stained, tore up etc, no worries.
I rarely pay more than 50 cents to a buck per item, I even stock up on sizes.
Kid is happy. DH happy. Me happy. AND credit card balances are all going down. I finally leanred.
It is unfortunate that you
It is unfortunate that you can't force BM to behave correctly, make proper purchases for the child, etc. Have you ever gone thru his things BEFORE you take him for visitation? Meaning go thru his stuff before you leave BM's house for visitation?
This is a newer issue. DH job
This is a newer issue. DH job transferred him in April so we live 4 hr drive away now. So we meet in middle to exchange him or pick him up from her friends house who lives 2.5hrs away. Therefore whatever is in his bag is what we get. Before he had a room at our house and we kept his clothes that we purchased and didn't have a bag really -not for clothes as we had our own. We could go through the bag at the Burger King parking lot but can't do anything about it if nothing fits or something is missing.
BM3 always sends SD5 over in
BM3 always sends SD5 over in rags. I send her back in nice clothes. BM harvests them all and keeps them at her house until they're outgrown, then takes them to consignment shops. Meanwhile I have 2 younger kids that she expects me to hand down SD'a ratty clothes to. We donate most of them. The ones that are stained or in bad repair go in the burn bin. I've learned not to send her back in her nice clothes. I send her in whatever she shows up in.
We used to keep his clothes
We used to keep his clothes with us and send him home in what he came in. But now that we are living away we are at the mercy of whatever she puts in the bag. Earlier this month she sent what MUST have been her little short boyfriends shirt for him to wear because it was a grown up size tshirt in the bag. He said it was his but who'd buy a grown man shirt for an 8yr old?? He's a chunky thing but that was ridiculous. But she's not dumb--she does this because she knows DH will not let him go anywhere -esp back to school - looking like a ragamuffin. So she is expecting him to come back with something new every time we exchange him. DH is pissed and he's not going to buy much at all. She sure makes sure she gets exactly what she wants for herself though.
the BM in our lives uses her
the BM in our lives uses her CS money on vacations, the skids have hardly any new clothes and if they do it's been a BIG deal - like a new pair of shoes is the most amazing thing that ever happened to them. It's sad.
Does your DH pay this woman
Does your DH pay this woman child support? If so, then she needs to figure it out.
No Child Support. That was
No Child Support. That was the one thing DH found the balls to say No to during divorce. He'll raise some other dude's kid but he wasn't going to be forced to pay for it. She had the good sense to be too embarrassed to ask the courts to make him pay for the kid too so she agreed to no support. Or maybe she was smart enough to know she could get more out of DH by simply demanding it. Lol
What are 'crotch crunchers' ?
What are 'crotch crunchers' ? Are those pants that ride up your bum giving you a wedgie? If so, BM in our case wears these every time I see her. Are they popular?? weird.
Crotch Crunchers by my own
Crotch Crunchers by my own Non-Cool definition is pants or shorts that are so small they give the poor boy cameltoe because they crunch his little man parts. The shorts she sent him are so small that they should have been given away or thrown away at least 6 months ago. She seems to blind to the fact that eating 5 meals per day does not keep a child small.
It's a very cool definition.
It's a very cool definition. However, you might be interested to know that cameltoe is female - the male equivalent is "moose knuckle."
I hope you enjoyed this educational tidbit, and have a great day!
hahaha moose knuckle. Now if
hahaha moose knuckle. Now if BM's husband wore that they would be twins. Because she has crotch crunchers that give her a camel toe and if he wore pants as tight as the shirts he wears, that caused moose knuckles, I would fall over laughing! omg.
MOOSE KNUCKLES!!! HAHA! Poor
MOOSE KNUCKLES!!! HAHA!
Poor boy was complaining about his parts hurting and I actually felt bad for him. Stupid bitch doesn't pay him any attention. I can't count how many times we picked him up from School and he'd have on 1 sock or no socks in winter or no underwear or high waters or no coat. When asked why he said he dresses himself. Which is fine but she's supposed to check him over before he gets on the damn bus but nope, she too busy laying up with her man.
BM STILL sends SDs over in
BM STILL sends SDs over in Halloween outfits that I got them at the Goodwill LAST October. She constantly complains that they have no shoes, pants, etc. She flipped out because SD4 lost a pair of 2 dollar flip flops at our house. :?
Yes, she gets CS she just spends it on tanning, drugs, and bar outings.
These women are useless trash in most cases. Idk why they're so selfish.
This BM is not maternal. She
This BM is not maternal. She doesn't want to be a Parent-she wants to have fun, live like a single person and pretend to be a Good Mom in front of other people. So she does the barest of minimums to be socially acceptable. She is very reliant on DH and has used him from day 1. But now I'm starting to put a stop to her games and I think he's finally starting to realize just how much she uses him. He is not going to stop doing for the boy and I don't want him to. I want him to stop doing for HER as she demands. I'm very close to addressing her directly to let her know that we are done being bitches for her brat. If she wants him to have so much she can find his other family-the real one and use them for a while.
bm sounds a lot like my mom.
bm sounds a lot like my mom. only my mom didn't work or have nice things. she was a welfare rat, but somehow always had money for cigarettes and the bingo hall at least once a week. when i was in 3rd grade, i had one pair of shoes and they were too small for me. they were made to be worn with dresses. i got in trouble with my gym teacher for not wearing tennis shoes and i told him they were the only shoes i had. this was in the spring, towards the end of school. the next day i get taken to the office, and my teacher had bought me a pair of tennis shoes. what a sweet man. i told my mom what happened and showed them to her when i got home and she said "good. then i don't have to buy you a pair for Easter." that was it. unbelievable, selfish, ungrateful, worthless bitch. she should have been ashamed that my GYM TEACHER did her job for her and thankful to him. instead she just saw the $10 dollars that she might have spent in another month on shoes for me going into her cigarette and bingo fund. again-worthless bitch. not much has changed over the years, either.
you have read my mind i
you have read my mind
i think all wanabe controlled bm do that to make themselves look better then there kids but at the end of the day they are worst off
and little do they no that there kids will be looking after them one day and i hope they put them in shitty rags
we got that all the time with the bm and we meaning (I) would wash the clothes they come in and send them back even if it was there sch uniform my skids at that time was 10sd 7sd 5ss,
the kids used to wear rag uniforms to school and have holey dress clothes and no shoes or matching socks no undies or right fitting bra
and bm would say to us you got more money then me you buy them and i said no that y we pay you maintence and we have the kids half the time
bm are so ungrateful
and we did buy uniforms for the kids and that stayed at our house for when they went to school from our house and cause i worked close by the school they used to bring there uniforms to me and have change of clothes
and we used to pick them up at 730pm for midweek meal and they still be in there rag uniform it so needed a scrub which we would do and have it already for them in morning
but alot of teachers & parents at the school would no they was staying with us as they were always presentable with uniform had enough lunch and homework was completed it not a hard job really
if the bm done what they meant too instead of blaming the poor kid that he or she a expense to her they should not open there legs
WHILE US GOOD PEOPLE PICK UP THE PIECES AND HAVE A BETTER FUTURE WITH THERE CHILDREN
I JUST HATE GREEDY-SMURF BM
all i want out of my sk who are now sd 18 sd 15 ss12 is to show respect for everyone, love, to be clean in themselves and in our home AND MOST OF ALL TO BE HAPPY
Thrift shop. My kids grew up
Thrift shop. My kids grew up in second hand clothing. They don't re-sell underwear so he'll have to stay bound up.
Personally I wouldn't buy the kid a thing that I didn't keep at home I don't care if he outgrew it next week. Send him home in the same dirty cloths.
The big thing with BM is that
The big thing with BM is that she loves to manipulate and control. For example, we picked him up Sunday. As usual she didn't have him-she'd dumped him on a friend of hers on Friday so we picked him up with dirty clothes-again. She knows DH works 6a to 4 or5p EVERY Sunday without fail. Yet she texts him saying we need to get to her friends house by 6p to pick up her kid because the friend had something to do at 6. Do you think BM said to her friend "well I'll keep him because his Dad works and won't be there by then?" Or do you think she bothered to ASK us if we could get there by 6? NOPE. She told the friend we'd be there @ 6, then told US we'd be there by 6! What f8cking nerve!! Dictating our schedules w/o consulting us at all! DH didn't get off until 5:30 and we drove 2.5hrs to her friend house and got there at 8p. Her friend was nice about it but she didn't get to do whatever it was she needed to do at 6p. BM doesn't care how she inconveniences everyone else as long as she does what she wants to do and doesn't have anything to do with her kid. This boy was with us last week of July and first week of this month, then with her grandma and her friend the following week and we have him again this week. Been like this all Summer. She never has her own kid. Doesn't like to spend money on him. Tries to dictate what other people need to do for him. These school clothes thing is just one of her standard ways of getting out having to do for her kid. We paid $200 every Month this Summer for half of his Day Camp costs and she didn't even send him half the time b/c she dumps him at other people house so she didn't have to deal with him.
We have the opposite problem
We have the opposite problem with our BM. She sends SD7 to school in clothes that would be good for a 17yo on the runway in LA. Not for a 7 year old girl going to school. Yesterday she came home from school in Knee high black leather boots, tights, and a t-shirt dress that had Johnny Depp on the front. I"m sure BM spent a ton of money on that outfit. It was not appropriate for a 7 year old.
My goodness. Surprised the
My goodness. Surprised the school didn't send her home! She must be one of those 'let me be your friend' Moms who buy thongs and pants with words on the butt for her 7yr old.