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BM & SD think they make the Rules At MY HOUSE

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Mon, 05/09/2011 - 11:31am

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I have been a SM for 12 years or more. We had SD now 14 every weekend; sometimes during the week and most holidays. We would give support plus activities, school clothes. I will admit my DH is a GREAT dad; not just a sperm donor.
Now we have had her for the past 1 1/2..............BM gives up money "when she can" hasn't bought her a pair of damn underwear or shoes. There is no set schedule at ALL. When she can get her she will call SD!!! and let her know when she is coming. REALLY - so when we have plans or need SD to babysit her younger brother - we get........"I have plans with my mom!"

I am so sick of this s**....I am not saying she can't see her mom AT ALL - but we have a life too.......advice!!!!!

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Mon, 05/09/2011 - 11:37am

SD is a minor, yes? She doesn't have plans unless she clears them with the adults in the household first.

uncommon's picture

Submitted by uncommon on Mon, 05/09/2011 - 12:45pm

Ding ding ding! This exactly.

A child makes plans at the convenience and approval of his/her parents. I never "had plans" as a kid unless I had already asked my parents for permission. And that means whatever parent has custody *at the time of the actual plans* not *at the moment the kid was asked if they could do ______* also.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 05/09/2011 - 12:37pm

Sounds like everyone is giving BM and SD way too much power in your household. Come up with a schedule and make BM stick to it or she doesn't see the kid. Easy enough...

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Mon, 05/09/2011 - 1:04pm

I know! Sounds like an easy fix right; NOPE BD won't take the bull by the horns; this is why we fight all the TIME!! SD thinks and is allowed to run the show!! I have become (along with a lot of SM) an angry, bitter, b* because of this crap! How can you treat someone you love like this..........right!!??

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Mon, 05/09/2011 - 2:31pm

If BD won't step up, then I suggest you go forward with your plans without him. If its something you need a sitter for, find a reliable one or let bd stay home and watch your son.