BM took SS against court order
This is my first post, only because I see other people posting the same issues we are going thru, so I haven't felt the need til now. My SO (we're not married) has LEGAL custody of SS8. The CO's specifially say BM can not remove SS from school. Friday she wanted to take SS for school vacation, and SO told her NO, her court appointed days are Monday, Tues, Weds, and she could have him Monday as he was NOT missing school. BM went to the school at 10AM Friday, took SS out of school and left the State for "a week". SO went to school at dismissal time, and no SS. The school said "Oh BM came and got him this morning". SO told the school to call the police. The school knew SO had legal custody, he dropped off all the court paper work to school, Dr's office, dentist office, etc.. The police said it's a Civil matter and they can't help. The State police said they can do nothing without the help of the Town police.
Has anyone experienced this and what have they done ???? BTW, BM is on Criminal Probation for continuously violating a Restraining and Harassment Order I had on her. I'm just so surprised that 2 mos into her probation she pulls this, but that the police do nothing !!
Well #1 you need to file an
Well #1 you need to file an emergency ex parte hearing. Her visitation needs to be suspended/supervised.
#2 it is not Civil. It is non custodial kindapping.
#3 Is your stepchild's school looking for a lawsuit?
...oh and I'd contact her PO.
...oh and I'd contact her PO. Can she even leave the state on probation?
^^^^^^^^^^^Yes to all of
^^^^^^^^^^^Yes to all of this!!!^^^^^^^^^^^
Threaten a lawsuit, the school should NOT have released him to her.
File charges for kidnapping against her. She left the state, you can have her ass arrested. It is NOT civil, it is criminal.
And, I've never heard of anyone on probation being allowed to leave the state without permission from their parole officer. Call the parole officer pronto. If she's on probation and took the kid without permission that's a parole violation and her ass is headed back to jail.
Non custodial kidnapping is a
Non custodial kidnapping is a crime. Call her PO and get her a$$ tossed back in the slammer.
Is SS8 ok?
And you can call the county
And you can call the county and they will assist you in finding out who her PO is. Just say you have criminal information on one of their probees.
I'm sure SS is okay, probably
I'm sure SS is okay, probably just bored out of his mind riding around in a car with BM. We only have one probation officer in our area, so that should be easy. I'm just totally blown away by the police's response. they called BM and she told the officer the SO was just "upset" and she KNEW she was in violation, but would be back "next week". And they said to SO, it's all good "no harm". Um, REALLY !?!? BM's friend is the secretary at the school...BM took the woman's daughter to the Bahama's over winter break. YUP! and this woman KNOWS BM does not have custody. She "lost" the paperwork the first time, and SO dropped of a second set of documents. IMO the woman should be fired! Is it just me, or does anyone else find this incompetant and crazy.
DH and myself went through
DH and myself went through this about a year ago. BM took SD8, refused to answer her phone and was not home. We went to the police. The police told us they could not do anything. It was a civil matter. They told us all we could do was take it to court. After an hour or so of pretty much flipping out in the police station, one officer did call her phone and leave a message, tracked down her sister's number and left a message with her. I guess that was to "scare" BM. BM called about 3:30am flipping out on us, in front of SD8, who was apparently still awake. BM is crazy. Needless to say, nothing ever came of it. However, that was the last visitation with BM. Haven't heard from BM since Dec. She's a prostitute now, so I assume she must be too busy to see her daughter EOWE.
Um, amber alert? they just
Um, amber alert?
they just had this happen with grandparents having physical custody, parents took the kids outside of their visitation and it was a multi state amber alert. Even though they were parents, they were not supposed to have the kids then, and did not notify the grandparents they were going to take them.
Additionally, I would say
Additionally, I would say it's all how you talk to the police. Don't call angry, call scared.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY KIDS ARE AND I'M SCARED THEY ARE IN DANGER!
And if you have to, throw the school under the bus, so to speak,... say the school has papers which state the mom has no legal right to pick up the kids at school, ....
SS is still with BM. Day 5.
SS is still with BM. Day 5. She is not answering her phone and SS usually calls his Dad every night when he's with her. Obviously she is not letting him call. SO's atty did nothing, so we called another atty, who said to go directly to her Prob Officer, which SO is doing this morning. The police said they would not contact the courts until today. So, I'm hoping someone does something !! BM has gotten away with so much I will be appalled if the courts look the other way with this.
Just an update for everyone
Just an update for everyone who has been helpful....Day 6, and no word from SS or BM. SO has gone to court EVERY day, he even went to BM's probation officer, who said she's on "unsupervised probation" and it's a "family court matter" anyway. It's so frustrating that because it's a "custody issue" or a "family court issue" that no one is doing anything. SO's atty is on vacation for two weeks. YUP! Again, all the planets seem to be aligned in BM's favor. SO can not file anything with the family courts because he has an atty of record, and that atty must do the filing. It's so frustrating and crazy making. I like the idea of calling CPS, I might do that myself while SO is in court (again) this morning. Keep the ideas and good vibes coming our way !! We need them.
I absolutely hate this! I am
I absolutely hate this! I am so sorry you are going through this. I know that I struggle with my SD8 ALOT, but when BM did this to us I was literally sick to my stomach with fear and worry. It lasted 3 days, until we finally located BM and SD8 at a crackhouse an hour from home. This was years ago, SD8 was just there while BM was passed out high. The courts still did nothing. They ordered supervised visitation for about 6 months and BM was ordered to take drug test before she could see SD8... drug tests that DH was ordered to pay for. LOL go figure. The police simply told us .. "SD is with her mother, if you are that worried about her don't let her go there anymore." Don't let her? Until the courts hold DH in contempt for not letting her, right? WTH. It is somewhat of blessing that BM hasn't been around the last 1.5 year by her own choice, apparently she must be too busy. Hard to deal with and explain to SD, but honestly I think its for the best. BM is a piece of work!
This might be a little flashy
This might be a little flashy but what about the ten of clock news?
Walk into the news station and say, "my child has been gone for six days, BM won't answer her phone-she is on probation. Cops won't help me... I don't know if my child is alive or dead!!! AND NO ONE IS HELPING ME! "
it's extreme, but it would notice
I would so do this!!! I'd
I would so do this!!! I'd throw EVERYONE under the bus. The school secretary for letting BM take skid out of school, the PO and cops for blowing you off....everyone!
I'm sure the news would love the story. Custodial kidnapping or interference or whatever the cops want to call it is a big issue.
YOu know what is funny? If
YOu know what is funny? If this were a man who did this? If your story were EXACTLY the same except BM was the bio dad, you KNOW every cop within 40 miles would be looking for them. Fucked up.
If This were me, and if no one were helping me to find MY CHILD, I would contact the news like pp said above. I would light a huge fire under the entire county..the school, the cops, the court, everyone. hah.
Well, SS8 called SO last
Well, SS8 called SO last night and asked to come get him. He was at BM's house. They had just returned. When BM dies, I hope she donates her brain to science. She took SS8 to Boston to the circus less than 48 hours after the bombings. WHO DOES THAT !?!? We live in Mass, so going to the news was not going to help us right now, unfortunatly. But BM took SS8 to Boston for 2 days after leaving the State for 4 days. SO went to pick him up, and BM said that it was an hour earlier than he's "allowed" to pick him up according to the custody agreement, and if SO took SS, he had to bring him back an hour earlier. WHAT !?!?! Is this woman serious !?!?!? I don't think he should go back to BM at all !!
SO finally got papers filed in Criminal Court today, and what BM did is considered a felony crime. I can only hope we get the same judge that put her on probation and it actually affects her probation. I hope the courts do something. With all that is going on around us, having a child "missing" and no communication at all was torture. (for SO more than me)
Good. Take her down! Glad
Good. Take her down!
Glad your SS is ok and home safe now.
The nerve of her to make a
The nerve of her to make a comment about him picking up and hour early,.....
I hope they throw her ass in jail... That is ridiculous,...
Court on Thursday !!! I will
Court on Thursday !!! I will keep you all posted. She is already on Criminal Probation, so I am hoping we get the same judge that put her on probation. I think I'm most horrified that BM took SS into Boston while the city was in turmoil. She said to SO "see, he's okay, he didn't disappear" in her crazy condescending voice. REALLY !?!?! I had friends in the city that didn't go to work all week, and BM brings SS to the circus right in the throws of the chaos. That is just beyond me !! Thanks for all the ideas and support, I hope we get a victory on Thursday.
Clearly she is mentally ill.
Clearly she is mentally ill. No sane person would bring a child to freaking Boston while they city is locked down hunting for terrorists. Wow.
What is the update? FDH is
What is the update? FDH is having a similar situation with BM, I'm curious to know what happened.
Hi all !! Thanks for the
Hi all !! Thanks for the support. The court system is so utterly broken !! The court was "busy" last week, and kicked the kidnapping to a show-cause hearing a whole month from now !! In the meantime, BM sent SO a text saying "read my email". So, he did, and she said she wanted to "talk" and settle things before the custody trial they have in two weeks. SO emailed his terms to her, which she didn't like, and she had him served with a restraining order the day before SS's birthday. SS was with us, and SS's b'day fell on our legal custody day, so SS did not have or ever have a planned birthday celebration with BM, he had one at my house and BM flipped out and sent her kids from Husband #1 to "kidnap" SS and bring him to her.....it was a comical joke. They also called SO's cellphone 14 times, and then started calling his work phone. We called the police and reported it, and they said even tho she took a restraining order less than 24 hours ago, SHE can still call SO and what she was doing was not illegal !!!! WHAT !?!? She also told SS that he had friends waiting for him at her house with "tons of presents" None of which was true. Who does that to their kid !?!?! We went to court yesterday to address her "restraining order" and the judge threw it out because she had no proof she was in danger or threatened and he told her to stop contacting SO. 6 hours later....she starts texting again. SO doesnt' respond to her, but it's still annoying. He is going to meet with the police chief today to get some advice, because we can see BM is about to derail in a bad way. My poor SS asked if we could just move away from her. The worst part is the lawyer and the courts are telling us this will go nowhere....... that as long as she brought SS back it's not "kidnapping", and she will still be given 3 days of custody. No one seems thinks taking an 8 yr old to Boston during a terrorist attack and the city being in lockdown is bad parental judgement !! Not to mention the police seem to think that harassing someone after you take a restraining order on them is okay !!!
So frustrated with the whole legal system ! thanks for listening !
So, I promised you all I
So, I promised you all I would give you an update. We finally got our day in court, and the court dismissed all charges against BM.
I don't get it. BM is on probation, has 2 Harassment orders on her, she no longer has legal custody of SS, she removed him from school against a court order, and left the State with him. The court said he was not put in danger, and it was pointed out BM took SS to Boston about 36 hours after the bombings. The police told her to bring him back, and she didn't.....
And yet the court threw out the case. I have no words.
I am so sorry to hear that.
I am so sorry to hear that. That is total BS.