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Christmas SM blues…(quick vent)

Jocasta's picture

Submitted by Jocasta on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 2:36am

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It's probably because it's that time of year for families and warmth and love and special times - I am feeling the SM blues (maybe I should write a song!).

I am feeling *****d off with having to entertain in MY house, people who resent me for no good reason - they don't even appear to like me these days. I consider I am a good, kind person - am far from perfect and I have my faults of course - but have never ever been in a situation before I was a SM where people disliked me just for being me. All I have ever done is to love and respect my DP and care and look out for the skids. In return I get resentment and indifference.

Sorry for self-pitying post but skids seem to be getting worse as they get older, I used to have reasonable relationship at least with ESD but she is becoming more distant.

New year's resolution - continue with Operation Disengage!

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 8:12am

I can identify with this. My SDs have got worse as they have got older, on the whole. I really don't care if they dislike me - which they obviously do - because I can't stand the sight of them!

Disengagement has kept me (relatively) sane for the last decade. My SDs have just fallen out big time with my DH, so if I am lucky, they may not appear here at all over Xmas. But that is probably too much to hope for.

farting_glitter's picture

Submitted by farting_glitter on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 9:40am

i, too, am completely disengaged from DHs' family and kid....

christinen's picture

Submitted by christinen on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 4:17pm

I always have the SM blues this time of year so I feel your pain!

I don't have kids of my own (DH and I have been trying but I have issues with uterine cysts) so seeing him and SD, especially around the holidays, is really hard.

Hang in there- the holidays will be over soon!!

Disillusioned's picture

Submitted by Disillusioned on Fri, 12/20/2013 - 4:43pm

Totally relate to your post...I feel the same way

From my previous posts you may know my Christmas is already mostly about spending it with DH's family....we see mine but his family time always seems to come first Sad

And like you, between H's sister and his eldest daughter yes, the holidays became depressing and a drudgery rather than something I look forward too

I've had years where H's sister would do caddy little nasty things like buy everyone but me, something for Xmas. Not that I wanted or expected anything from her but it is something I would never have done to any of my own SIL's. I would sit there feeling very uncomfortable and of course unwelcome when it was obvious she had deliberately excluded me, while everyone else sat there opening her presents...and she then sat there opening the ones I thoughtfully had chosen for her of course!

Or the years when I would walk in the door and DH's eldest daughter wouldn't even so much as acknowledge me let alone wish me Merry Christmas :O one year she actually had the audacity to walk up to DH as we both stood together in the front foyer, having just walked through the front door together, and said "Merry Christmas Dad" and a big hug (I was surprised as his eldest didn't usually do that) then she walked away without so much as even acknowledging me - I realized later that was why she uncharacteristically hugged DH, to rub in how totally non-existent I was to her }:)

I got upset about her rudeness, and DH got angry with me :?

I thought to myself then, "well Merry Happy Christmas, what kind of assholes behave that way on Christmas?"

Disengagement is a very good thing - make that your New Year's Resolution!!!