Dad checking out
Has anyone dealt with a husband who "escapes" from the realities of our challenging lives? Mine spent a year saying he was working late and was in reality, hitting a casino to blow off steam. This while we have three sk, three kids of our own (ages 20,18,16,8,6,3) and had a 16 year old clearly developing a drug problem. I know we all need to get a break now and then but this is so hard to deal with. He claims that being a older second time dad is too much for him and I should try to understand. Plus he throws in the challenge of owning his own business and the financial pressure of supporting a big family. (I became a stay-at-home mom when our 6th was born, working full time prior to that) We spend so much time addressing the emotional needs of the rest of the family, being strong for everyone else. This just felt like a huge slap in the face.
I wouldn't like that
When do you get to escape from it all? You guys are in it together, day in and day out, right? I'm sure you are stressed too. He shouldn't have lied about what he was doing. Sounds like you both need a couple days away. He should have planned something for both of you instead of being selfish.
Hang in there!
Dawn
...dad checking out
I'm sure dad doesn't want to totally disown you and the family. He just has a lot of pressure about supporting family financially & emotionally. Take a couple days off and spend time together alone and talk things out, deal w/everything one step at a time, be strong for your family. Good luck and hang in there.
Hubby goes out to eat w/co-workers all the time
My hubby instead of coming home after work will go out for a meal with co-workers and friends all the time. Even that wouldn't be so bad if I received a call. I think I'm prepared for the police to come to my door to inform me of something horrible from all the times it has happened.
My husband
If you read my blog, you will hear a lot of complaining, but I will say, that your issue sounds REALLY tough! Sounds like you really need counseling to address this issue before it's too late.
He needs to find a constructive outlet. I will say, that though I complain about my husband, I am proud of him-he has found a constructive outlet to "cleans" his mind and cope. We have five kids in our house, I run my own business, and he works a lot of hours. none of the kids are in daycare, so our schedule is crazy. We take vacations together, at least once a year a trip, just the two of us, and he takes a trip every year to the boundary waters with his outdoorsie cousin. The guys go fishing, and spend a lot of time working physically hard at portaging, etc, but it's also quiet time to think. He writes in a journal, and comes back completely refreshed and ready to tackle the world! I will say, that we do spend a lot of quality time together, and we do a lot of talking. He does spend a lot of quality time with the kids and I. Good luck!