I'm new to Step Talk and fairly new to stepping. My husband and I have a blended family - I have two boys (9 and 15) and he has a son who lives with us (10), a daughter who lives with her mom (11), and a daughter who lives on her own (19). When we married, it had been after much discussion about discipline and expectations of our children....I really wanted to do this in a way that was healthy for everyone concerned.

My husband and his ex had split about a year before we met (when his kids were 6, 7, and 15). It was quite an unhealthy relationship for the last few years....he was kept under her thumb, not allowed to parent, have input about money, or any matters concerning the household. They even slept in separate rooms for the last year of their marriage. At the time we met, all three of children lived with him and their mom had moved several hours away to be with her new BF. A few months later, BM called and asked for the middle child to come and live with her. Being overwhelmed with the task of raising three kids alone after being shut down for so long as a father, he conceded. The fallout from SS10 was outragous.

YOu must understand what this child had gone through. Going from having his BM as a stay-at-home to having her completely gone, a new woman (me) with children joining the mix, and then his BM taking his sister (with whom he was extremely close) and not him. Violent outbursts, temper tantrums, crying, kicking, biting....everything you can imagine. What a difficult time it was for him!