The day is over, DH fast asleep at 65 in Australia he can now if he wishes to retire and collect an aged pension. It's a big birthday, a milestone in his life. Now let me see, who acknowledged this, myself, my three children, their husbands, and my 4 grandchildren as well as a couple of friends I invited along to the dinner.

No phone calls, emails, texts or cards from his father, his sisters, his cousins, his 3 adult children or his 3 grandchildren, one of whom is 15 and has his own mobile. Nothing, not one member of his blood family has acknowledged this day.

As he lies here beside me sleeping I wonder, does he see it yet. Will he ever see it. The people he almost destroyed his marriage for, the daughter he defended and lied for in a desperate bid to make her like him, didn't care enough to mark this day.

I think of the years of hell he put me through for this woman,this exhaulted daughter, the apple of his eye. This woman who 5 years ago refused to attend his 60th has excelled herself and refused to acknowledge this birthday also.

He has brought all of this on himself, I know that. He has acted like a fool for these kids of his, and they have treated him accordingly. I can't help but feel sorry for him. I can't understand the depth of their hate, or their lack of conscience. But I thank God I raised my children with respect and taught them to be respectful. My husband did it the old Italian way,with conditional love. He gave them everything, he spoilt them, he taught them no manners, no respect. He taught them they were special, entitled. And they behave that way.

I wait now to see if he gets it. If he sees them for what they are.

To all you guilty dads who are afraid to say no in case your children stop talking to you, won't see you anymore. Who allow them to rule the roost. Who meet their every demand for fear of losing them. Who allow them to treat your wife like dog poo in the soles of their feet. This is the thank you you will get in your old age. But worse still, the woman who stood by you for years and suffered the hurt and humiliation of your children's rudeness without any support from you, and suffered even more from you because no matter what your kids did, you somehow managed to twist it to make it your wife's fault, well you will have lost her to. She may be lying there beside you, but the reality is, you have lost more than you will ever know.