No one here can answer your question as to divorce or not. Only you know what is best for you and/or if leaving the situation would be best in everyone involved in your current upsets interest.

Will things settle down? From reading your post of a couple weeks ago, I'd say no. At least not for a every long time. You went out of your way to provoke this woman, she took legal action against you. Divorcing your husband isn't going to make the court issue she currently has against you go away.

If you stay with your husband you are going to have to let him do any and all communications with BM. You have no need nor business with her at all. This is your husband's baggage and his fight to fight...the way to combat his ex will be him and through the courts. You're going to have to stay out of it and abide by the restrictions the court is setting up against you. You crossed some major boundaries in your personal actions and you're paying the price both legally and with your health. Stay in your counseling and talk to your counselor and your lawyer as to what is the best course of action for your own peace and sanity. Sometimes loving a man and thinking he's the best father and/or parent to have custodial and trying to 'help' him in his struggles becomes too much. The new partner becomes too involved, too engaged, loses sense of all boundaries. This is where you find yourself now. A lot of damage has been done, only you know what you if your very new young marriage and life in the step world is something you'll be able to handle. No magic wands out here in cyber space can fix this for you or advise you what is best for you next.

I think that if hubby is effective at taking care of the issues with BM then that is a definite PLUS and you should stay with him according to the info you provided. because it sounds like there is hope if he is a good hub and father and you love each other and he takes care of step issues.

You should just let him handle all of this crap until the dust settles. Just have him give you an update every once in a while on the status if applicable and let you know the important things you need to know as they come up. But you don't need to know everything. This way you don't end up in the hospital! I mean shit does he not care that you are ending up in the hospital over it, I would like to know what he does after that lol.

My husband makes promises and doesn't deliver. Great guy but doesn't take care of step drama. If you have that, hang on to it. I probably should leave mine, I'll wake up in 10 years thinking god what have i been doing, still hasn't changed! but see if you and your dh are willing to work it out to where you don't have to share details at all times.

The first year of marriage is hard by the way. we were together 4 years before marriage, and still the 1st year of marriage sucked. In counseling only 3 months in! so... take a break and go away with each other for a weekend - - - OFTEN

It seems that there are multiple issues at play here. You went from being a single woman to a married woman with a ready bake family and a rotten egg BM. If you and DH have primary custody then a large portion of the child care and responsibility is likely landing on you. Even if the skids are angels kids are always work, often exhausting. You say your husband is the best in the world (whatever that means) but men are just like kids and need attention and time, marriage is work too. Then there are your finances that are now cut in 4 ways instead of just one PLUS add onto that legal fees and a BM that has a voo doo doll with your name on it.

I would not say that divorce should be the first and immediate answer. I would say get some personal counseling for yourself first. Find out why you married into this situation, what need did it fill? Why did you give up your life and freedom for 4 other people (BM included)? Are you afraid of being alone? Is this how you want the next decade of your life to be?

You need to figure all of this out because I guarantee that if you get divorced without doing this kind of inquiry then you will find yourself in a similar situation not far down the road. My personal opinion: Marriage and children are not the be all and end all of womanhood. I have family members who are unmarried and/or childless who look younger than me, are happy and fulfilled and have slush money.

For now, disengage from BM completely by letting DH solely deal with her.

Best of luck in your decision.