I didn't voluntarily tell DH about this site but he came across it one day due to my poor OPSEC haha. He doesn't like it one bit that I'm on here because it makes him feel like I'm complaining about him to a bunch of strangers. So, I don't really hide it but I don't put it in his face either. It depends on what type of person the spouse is. Mine is a control freak so I keep stuff like this to a minimum.
Mine knows about it too, looks up my blogs and reads them.
Sometimes he gets mad, sometimes he doesn't. He is a passive aggressive person, when he is upset, so sometimes you can tell when he has been reading my blog.
I don't complain about my skids, I love my skids.
However BM is major Psychotic, like RO psychotic, and I really have a hard time coping with the fears and drama she breads into everyone. I tried to talk to DH about it, but he would just get defensive (like he felt I was blaming him for her psychotic behavior), and wouldn't listen to me, so now i'm here.
Yes, he knows about it. I told him right away that I had found a site to help me manouvere the step world. I share stories with him, mostly the good and sometimes we laugh over the really ugly too.
Yes he does and when he found out he was like "why do you need to vent there, I thought you were doing good with everything"
I just gave him a death glare. hahaha.
I can't talk to him about the stuff because it doesn't bother him like it does me. He even told me to give it a shot one day, I started talking he was like "maybe you should get on that website" hahaha
The brainwashing thing is what my dh brought up when he found me on this site. Is not possible to be brainwashed if some of the things I read on here are actually happening in our home. He thinks it gives me a negative perspective. I have read many posts to him about situations as well as their outcomes and he did find it helpful since we have faced similar issues too.
Nope...He would sooooo not understand. His way of dealing with things is to bottle them up, swallow it and move on. He doesn't understand at all that I need to get it out. I tell him all the time he's going to explode someday and I hope I'm not in the way!!! No joke!! The shit we put up with with BM. It took him 2 years of bullshit, games, arguing, crazy, etc. before he finally broke after an incident where my grandmother died and BM really pissed him off by the way she treated me/us. At that point he took her ass to court and now has primary custody and tells her the way it's going to be. He was convinced before that somehow that dad's will always lose and BM's will always win if you go to court....he knows better now and whenever anybody asks who his lawyer was, he proudly tells them.
Don't get me wrong, she is still a miserable fucking bitch and plays games, but at least she can't mess with when/if/how he sees his kids.
No No No...lol. DH would not be be impressed if he knew I was venting my skid issues to anyone. He is more concerned with the illusion of a big happy family than actually parenting.
The reason he caught me on this site is because he asked what I was looking at. I said I wasn't looking at anything in particular, then he asked to see it. I don't hide things from him so I turned it over. Sometimes I still get questioned what I'm doing online because that was BM's tool of choice for cheating, plus her cell. Maybe I shouldn't have to, but I'll let him see what I'm doing because I've nothing to hide.
Mne knows about it. He's even a member, though he never posts. I've shared lots of the advice I've gotten on here and he's found it encouraging and helpful. Then again, my DH isn't like most we read about!
Kinda had a similar experience. I didn't know anyone else in my situation, and BM was WAY overboard with her antics, like restraining order overboard!
Till I found this site, I didn't know that what she was doing was that HUGELY unacceptable!
DH acted like "oh well, can't reason with her, she will only do what she wants" OR He would get upset with me for pointing out that her actions were out of line.
Once I found this site and started to learn what is and is not acceptable, it made me feel better knowing I wasn't the only one realizing BM was out of control!
Hubby knows about it, he doesn't get it. He calls it my "chat room". I do ask him what he would do in some of the situations I read about on here. And I let him know that we could have it A LOT worse than we do or ever did.
DH knows, he's such a laid back guy it doesn't bug him. He hasn't poked around as far as I can tell. And generally my probs are with Voldemort and the skids anyhow, he and I do pretty well together.
I've learned a TON in my short time here and I'm actually better able to process the weekly annoyances with two of the skids knowing that I have a place to come and vent and relate to others. <-- (I think this is a run on sentence but I'm not correcting it.)
I do share some of the stuff on here with him; I never would've thought of disengaging from two of the skids or quit allowing Voldemort to use those two skids to manipulate me as quickly as I did if I hadn't found this site.
Nope - he wouldn't understand...why would anyone think his precious spawn does anything wrong, OR that he has a horrible way of dealing with her and her hag mother.
Yup, your guy was saying his kids are just normal kids and you should just suck it up. He needs to know this place is for step situations that are NOT working. Happy stepparents don't come here.
To help him grasp that concept tell him, "The norm at StepTalk is also for stepparents to leave their spouses; buy a new house; or ignore the children right back (I assume he does not know the word 'disengage')."
1. When skids are good citizens and dads/moms have great boundaries, stepparents don't come to ST.
2. When skids are terrorists who target stepparent and bio lets them, spouse finds this place and typically does one of the 3 options listed above.
Yes. I told my DH about it when I found it. I told him what it was all about; that venting is all over, but it also provides great insight and you ca get some really great advice. His just said "Hm, cool" and went about his business. The only other time it was brought up, he asked what I was doing and I happened to be posting on here. I told him the concern I was reaching out about, and again the response was non-interest. I even offered to let him read it!
Don't think he ever even gave it a second thought.
Yes, DH knows about it, tho he rarely visits. He thinks it is a good place for me to.see that I'm not alone. I made him read posts and have sent some to him, so he can see that I am definitely not some crazy, neurotic chick, imagining it all. Especally, since ive been accused many times of "overreacting".... Not sure if he gets it. Like everyone else here, it has been a long struggle.
I think I will be keeping this to myself. He'd be upset if he knew I was "bitching" about his family even though he agrees with me that they treat me very badly.
It's going to be a struggle keeping it to myself as I'm rubbish at keeping secrets!
Sure he knows. We have been very open with each other dealing with the step situation which is why we are still married. I couldn't keep it from him because it would give me a sickly feeling to do so. He has appreciated some of the great advice we've gotten here; been very impressed by some pms I've received that were very thoughtful; and laughed at some of the outrageous capers written up here.
At other times he's a bit freaked out at me roaming around in a place "awash in negativity." And I do spend waaaay too much time here, I get an eyebrow now and then. But it's way less than the eyebrow I give myself!
All in all he respects my need to vent and we feel it's free therapy here. Often of a much higher quality than I was getting when we paid a therapist for help for a short time. (Just happened to pick a striving for mediocre one by accident.)
My DH does not know. I don't think he would be too thrilled with anything that I have to say about Thunderfoot. I don't think he quite understand how much I can't stand her and he would probably get all butthurt about it.
My DH knows and he's read some stories with me. I haven't said anything much about SD as she has been out if our lives for 2 years. He thinks it's fine and doesn't look at my stuff. My kids on the other hand think I go on here and complain about them. That's a good idea; I should start doing that!
Told mine though he iant
Told mine though he iant impressed by it. He has even looked through some posts.
I didn't voluntarily tell DH
I didn't voluntarily tell DH about this site but he came across it one day due to my poor OPSEC haha. He doesn't like it one bit that I'm on here because it makes him feel like I'm complaining about him to a bunch of strangers. So, I don't really hide it but I don't put it in his face either. It depends on what type of person the spouse is. Mine is a control freak so I keep stuff like this to a minimum.
Mine knows about it too,
Mine knows about it too, looks up my blogs and reads them.
Sometimes he gets mad, sometimes he doesn't. He is a passive aggressive person, when he is upset, so sometimes you can tell when he has been reading my blog.
I don't complain about my skids, I love my skids.
However BM is major Psychotic, like RO psychotic, and I really have a hard time coping with the fears and drama she breads into everyone. I tried to talk to DH about it, but he would just get defensive (like he felt I was blaming him for her psychotic behavior), and wouldn't listen to me, so now i'm here.
My SO knows and will hear out
My SO knows and will hear out advice given as well as what other posters say that is similar to our situation.
Yes, he knows about it. I
Yes, he knows about it. I told him right away that I had found a site to help me manouvere the step world. I share stories with him, mostly the good and sometimes we laugh over the really ugly too.
My SO knows and I share some
My SO knows and I share some things with him. Last night he used my tablet and said "Don't worry, I won't read you website"--Talking about StepTalk
Nope... he doesn't know.... I
Nope... he doesn't know.... I am pretty sure I'll keep it that way.
Mine knows I belong to a step
Mine knows I belong to a step parent site, but believes it is just a 'chat' group.
Yes he does and when he found
Yes he does and when he found out he was like "why do you need to vent there, I thought you were doing good with everything"
I just gave him a death glare. hahaha.
I can't talk to him about the stuff because it doesn't bother him like it does me. He even told me to give it a shot one day, I started talking he was like "maybe you should get on that website" hahaha
Hahaha!
Hahaha! }:)
The brainwashing thing is
The brainwashing thing is what my dh brought up when he found me on this site. Is not possible to be brainwashed if some of the things I read on here are actually happening in our home. He thinks it gives me a negative perspective. I have read many posts to him about situations as well as their outcomes and he did find it helpful since we have faced similar issues too.
Nope...He would sooooo not
Nope...He would sooooo not understand. His way of dealing with things is to bottle them up, swallow it and move on. He doesn't understand at all that I need to get it out. I tell him all the time he's going to explode someday and I hope I'm not in the way!!! No joke!! The shit we put up with with BM. It took him 2 years of bullshit, games, arguing, crazy, etc. before he finally broke after an incident where my grandmother died and BM really pissed him off by the way she treated me/us. At that point he took her ass to court and now has primary custody and tells her the way it's going to be. He was convinced before that somehow that dad's will always lose and BM's will always win if you go to court....he knows better now and whenever anybody asks who his lawyer was, he proudly tells them.
Don't get me wrong, she is still a miserable fucking bitch and plays games, but at least she can't mess with when/if/how he sees his kids.
No No No...lol. DH would not
No No No...lol. DH would not be be impressed if he knew I was venting my skid issues to anyone. He is more concerned with the illusion of a big happy family than actually parenting.
No, and I prefer to keep it
No, and I prefer to keep it that way. I've spend enough days in the dog house TYVM
TYVM?
TYVM?
Thank you very much
Thank you very much
Thank you I am definitely
Thank you
I am definitely slow on he uptake today. Too many bid submissions this week.
The reason he caught me on
The reason he caught me on this site is because he asked what I was looking at. I said I wasn't looking at anything in particular, then he asked to see it. I don't hide things from him so I turned it over. Sometimes I still get questioned what I'm doing online because that was BM's tool of choice for cheating, plus her cell. Maybe I shouldn't have to, but I'll let him see what I'm doing because I've nothing to hide.
Mne knows about it. He's even
Mne knows about it. He's even a member, though he never posts. I've shared lots of the advice I've gotten on here and he's found it encouraging and helpful. Then again, my DH isn't like most we read about!
Kinda had a similar
Kinda had a similar experience. I didn't know anyone else in my situation, and BM was WAY overboard with her antics, like restraining order overboard!
Till I found this site, I didn't know that what she was doing was that HUGELY unacceptable!
DH acted like "oh well, can't reason with her, she will only do what she wants" OR He would get upset with me for pointing out that her actions were out of line.
Once I found this site and started to learn what is and is not acceptable, it made me feel better knowing I wasn't the only one realizing BM was out of control!
Hubby knows about it, he
Hubby knows about it, he doesn't get it. He calls it my "chat room". I do ask him what he would do in some of the situations I read about on here. And I let him know that we could have it A LOT worse than we do or ever did.
I've been vague about how I
I've been vague about how I read a step parents 'forum'. He is a computer nerd and reads tons of forums, so didn't ask me much.
DH knows, he's such a laid
DH knows, he's such a laid back guy it doesn't bug him. He hasn't poked around as far as I can tell. And generally my probs are with Voldemort and the skids anyhow, he and I do pretty well together.
I've learned a TON in my short time here and I'm actually better able to process the weekly annoyances with two of the skids knowing that I have a place to come and vent and relate to others. <-- (I think this is a run on sentence but I'm not correcting it.)
I do share some of the stuff on here with him; I never would've thought of disengaging from two of the skids or quit allowing Voldemort to use those two skids to manipulate me as quickly as I did if I hadn't found this site.
Sorry to hear I hope things
Sorry to hear
I hope things get better for you quickly.
Sorry to hear
Sorry to hear
Nope - he wouldn't
Nope - he wouldn't understand...why would anyone think his precious spawn does anything wrong, OR that he has a horrible way of dealing with her and her hag mother.
Yup, your guy was saying his
Yup, your guy was saying his kids are just normal kids and you should just suck it up. He needs to know this place is for step situations that are NOT working. Happy stepparents don't come here.
To help him grasp that concept tell him, "The norm at StepTalk is also for stepparents to leave their spouses; buy a new house; or ignore the children right back (I assume he does not know the word 'disengage')."
1. When skids are good citizens and dads/moms have great boundaries, stepparents don't come to ST.
2. When skids are terrorists who target stepparent and bio lets them, spouse finds this place and typically does one of the 3 options listed above.
Yes, mine does. We both suck
Yes, mine does. We both suck at keeping secrets. He is fine with it. Knows I need outside support in being a stepmom to his kid.
Yes. I told my DH about it
Yes. I told my DH about it when I found it. I told him what it was all about; that venting is all over, but it also provides great insight and you ca get some really great advice. His just said "Hm, cool" and went about his business. The only other time it was brought up, he asked what I was doing and I happened to be posting on here. I told him the concern I was reaching out about, and again the response was non-interest. I even offered to let him read it!
Don't think he ever even gave it a second thought.
Yes, DH knows about it, tho
Yes, DH knows about it, tho he rarely visits. He thinks it is a good place for me to.see that I'm not alone. I made him read posts and have sent some to him, so he can see that I am definitely not some crazy, neurotic chick, imagining it all. Especally, since ive been accused many times of "overreacting".... Not sure if he gets it. Like everyone else here, it has been a long struggle.
Thanks for all the replies,
Thanks for all the replies, guys.
I think I will be keeping this to myself. He'd be upset if he knew I was "bitching" about his family even though he agrees with me that they treat me very badly.
It's going to be a struggle keeping it to myself as I'm rubbish at keeping secrets!
My fiancé encouraged me to
My fiancé encouraged me to find a website like this after I told him I was feeling overwhelmed. He is very supportive and understands I'm having a hard time transitioning to the new role. I don't think he's read anything on it, but we've talked about several things I've read on here.
Sure he knows. We have been
Sure he knows. We have been very open with each other dealing with the step situation which is why we are still married. I couldn't keep it from him because it would give me a sickly feeling to do so. He has appreciated some of the great advice we've gotten here; been very impressed by some pms I've received that were very thoughtful; and laughed at some of the outrageous capers written up here.
At other times he's a bit freaked out at me roaming around in a place "awash in negativity." And I do spend waaaay too much time here, I get an eyebrow now and then. But it's way less than the eyebrow I give myself!
All in all he respects my need to vent and we feel it's free therapy here. Often of a much higher quality than I was getting when we paid a therapist for help for a short time. (Just happened to pick a striving for mediocre one by accident.)
My DH does not know. I don't
My DH does not know. I don't think he would be too thrilled with anything that I have to say about Thunderfoot. I don't think he quite understand how much I can't stand her and he would probably get all butthurt about it.
My DH knows and he's read
My DH knows and he's read some stories with me. I haven't said anything much about SD as she has been out if our lives for 2 years. He thinks it's fine and doesn't look at my stuff. My kids on the other hand think I go on here and complain about them. That's a good idea; I should start doing that!