does anyones ex controls phone calls with kids and what to do ?
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My ex is a control freak. I tell my kids to call me because I don't want to speak to the witch.I don't want to talk to my ex when I call because she starts with the usuall bs about what she wants me to do and trys to get under my skin. Being my kids are young, I don't know what to do ?
Hold on, ask your ex to email
Hold on, ask your ex to email you with her issues, that you cannot discuss them with her on the phone.
We had the same problem until the kids got a cell phone.
That is the problem Lilly. I
That is the problem Lilly. I use to have email, then she would send her garbage e-mails mixed in with kids stuff. Then I told her to stop the bs. She of course did not so, i had to delete the email account. Then I tryed to text her to tell her to have the kids call me. She blocked my ability to text her. She is a nut case.
Absolutely! In fact, I
Absolutely! In fact, I recently sent both skids (SS16 & SD13) a friend request on Facebook with a short message that we love & miss them. I honestly didn't expect them to accept, but wanted to extend the request to them & to let them know we were thinking of them & would like to open a door to communicate. I didn't hear back from either skid, however did receive a message back from BM about how they are doing fine & lit in on how DH's cs isn't enough to begin with (an amount more that would've been ordered through court, & an amount DH & BM both agreed to) but that the payments were coming late...not to get her wrong, though. Skids don't want for anything. She just thought it'd serve DH well if skids could see him making more of an effort to do for them...on & on & on...
Now, at 16 & 13, a judge ruled they were old enough to decide whether or not to have visitation with DH. They chose not to. If they are old enough to make a life-choice as such, aren't they old enough to express their own feelings & thoughts??? If they don't want to accept the friend request or respond to my messages, that's their choice. As BM lit in on DH & how nothing he does is acceptable, I simply responded with, "I'm sorry skids don't see the efforts DH has been making toward them. He continued pushing for visitation in court to have a relationship with them. He has made countless phone calls that have gone unreturned. We have gifts piling up in our home that we have been wanting to give them for birthdays & Christmas's. If the only effort you feel they would recognize is by him dumping more money into your pocket, then perhaps they don't realize that efforts don't necessarily come monetarily." She didn't respond.
BM looks for any opportunity to speak for skids. There are even notes in SD's medical records stating that Dr's & nurses couldn't get responses from SD because BM kept answering the questions.
Hey stormabruin, Your comment
Hey stormabruin,
Your comment re:facebook made me want to share something that we just discovered yesterday, as our situations are very similar. I went to SS's facebook page to see what was happening in their lives as its the only way we can see what is going on. And low and behold, if the oldest one didn't start a facebook page that asks who you would like to punch in the face if you could. He stated he would like to punch his dad in the face because he hates him so much. Just lovely! That was a knife to the heart, let me tell you.
We have done nothing to these kids other than not give the shirt off of our backs when we no longer left with one!!!
Sad sad sad.....it's one thing to know about PAS, but what the hell can you do about it?
I'm in tears..... I could
I'm in tears..... I could have written your post. But right now, I'm a bit speechless.
What f*cked up people these parents are...
Beaccountable, how old were
Beaccountable, how old were the kids when they finally realized what had been happening? I was relieved to read your post, as I have spent so much time hoping for this to happen. I've searched for situations to read about where this has been the case, & haven't been able to find much on it. In what I've read, they just talk about how the kids suffer & stay angry & often never acknowledge the realization of what has gone on. I believe my skids...at least SS16, is aware of it, to a point, but I think BM has made enough excuses to mask it well enough to where it's easy for him to ignore what she's doing, & accept it. I would love to know that there is hope for them as they get older & experience more in life for them to wake up.
DH's phone conversations to
DH's phone conversations to his kid were limited before Uberskank (wanting to look like mother of the year) bought the kid a cell phone. Now they have longer conversations, but we can always tell when Uber is hovering because his kid's end of the calls are always monosyllabic and vague.
After 17 calls in one day,
After 17 calls in one day, and similar things happening regularly as well, we had phone visitation written into our agreement. The other parent can only call between 7:30 and 8 pm. The kids can call whenever they want, but that got out of hand because she would tell them to call her. So, there was this loop hole because she can't instruct the kids what to do when they are with us, but we can't stop them from calling her. So, my friend, another stepmom and lady who has saved my relationship on several occasions, including my wedding day, gave me a suggestion. If the kids say that mom said they have to call, tell them to wait until the call time. They understand that. Or, if they want to call on their own, ask them why, if they say they need to tell her something, tell them to wait until the call time. If they are worried they'll forget, have them write it down. This is what I do when I want to talk to someone but can't do it in the middle of my time with the kids, or at work or whatever. It's a good lesson, I think.
We have two kids that live
We have two kids that live with two different BMs. One order states every day phone visitation ONE TIME between 6-8PM. The other states Tuesday and Thursday conversations between 7-7:15. If phone visitation is missed, it's missed. Just a little insight into how we do it... I'm always curious as to how others do things.
Oh, and it also states that
Oh, and it also states that the parent WITH the child during the conversation cannot use speakerphone...etc. It's always good to get every little detail in the order unfortunately.