does this seem fair to anyone?
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why is it that children can go around telling adults to 'shut up', telling them they hate them, and telling them they wish they would die, and its passed off, but if an adult says it to a child, then its immature and sick?
sd11 has told me countless times over the last 5yrs that she wishes i were dead. her saying this has no consequences. its passed off as her 'expressing her feelings'. but if i were to say it to her, whether on my own or right sfter she says it, then i am immature, crazy, and a bad person or abusive. it isnt passed off as me 'expressing my feelings'.
now i would never tell this to sd. or any other child. i have thought it, but never ever said it back to her.
but does it seem fair?
Not fair at all. Who allows
Not fair at all. Who allows that in your house? DH? That's b.s and lose my sh%^^t if my skids said anything so disrespectful to me. You treat others as you want to be treated and that should be taught to your SD. At 11 she knows better. I'd tell her that if she ever utters a word of disrespect that you will ground her sorry ass for a very long time. I'd also tell DH to smarten up and get his spawn to learn some respect. He shouldn't accept that. He's supposed to love and cherish you. What is he teaching her if he allows that? He teaches her that disrespecting you is okay, because he does it too (by allowing it).
It doesn't matter... you are
It doesn't matter... you are the grown-up, plain and simple. Fair? Maybe not, but life isn't fair. I don't want to jump on you, but you seem to have been doing so much better, I don't want to see you slip again!
Where is their BF in all
Where is their BF in all this? He should be the one to reprimand them and stop that type of treatment.
thank you WSM, i have been
thank you WSM, i have been feeling alot better, trying to stay out of sd's life has made a world of difference in my mood.
i did slip a bit tonight. bf and his bro were working on his truck (gas tank leak). sd is grounded (see other posts) so when she came out of her room to eat, i sent her back in (she had just finished dinner). she slams the door so hard that bd3 starts screaming and crying and the windows shook. i couldnt take that shit. bd3 has sensory processing disorder, sounds and touch are so much stronger for her than other people. so the slamming of the bedroom door like that really hurt bd3. and i had said from the beginning of my 'change' that if it effected me or bd3, then i will step in.
anyways, sd wouldnt let me in the door and almost slammed it on my fingers. i told her not to slam the doors, she did it again, so i smacked her on the butt. she told me she wished i were dead. i almost lost it so i went outside told bf and let him handle the rest of her and the situation. and he did
i ahvent spoke to sd since, and i feel so much calmer than a few hours ago.
You know what cured
You know what cured perfectson of slamming doors? I took it off the hinges.... It worked... he never slammed it again! If either of my SDs slammed their doors theirs would come off too. I don't put up with slamming doors!!! If nothing else, take her doorknob off...
Super easy to do, all you need is a screwdriver.. or a butter knife works in a pinch! LOL!! 
bf has threatened to take
bf has threatened to take the door off but he hasnt yet. im sure he never will. he is the master of empty threats