Absolutely! If the police have been called, the department of social services is often called. There is plenty of research about the effects of witnessing domestic violence! Children should not have to live in that environmnet. I agree with Soccermom about the Ex-Pate custody order!
Thanks for the replies. We totally agree its unacceptable for them to live in a house where there is violence....
Im not sure if there is any police records of the violence but the children did tell the guardian assigned to our case about what theyve witnessed... I hope that is proof enough.
I was just worried that it wouldnt be enough. its hard to prove because we havent witnessed it first hand ya know? We have other things that we are concerned about but thats the biggest one.
I just worry about everything We have been in the middle of the custody case since September of last year, and are finally winding down to the end I think. Our biggest complaint against BM is her abusive husband. He has broken her fingers, dragged her down the stairs by the hair, thrown things and broke them in front of the kids, not to mention locking BM and the kids out of the house without shoes jackets etc in winter and making them sleep in the car. Of course BM says she lied and none of that happened.
To us, its obvious its unacceptable, i just was worried the court would see it as punishing BM for something that the stepdad hasnt done but might sometime, if that makes sense? Innocent until proven guilty type of thing.
We seem to have a fair judge and the GAL seemed fairly smart, but you never know. We live 9.5 hours away from the kids and try to be as involved as possible in their lives but its difficult to be there in a day to day basis, but I still believe moving them 9.5 hours away is much better than letting them continue to live in that house.
Is the GAL appointed because of the custody battle or because child protective services has been involved? I do a lot of domestic violence and trauma work as a therapist. I see the results first hand. How old are the kids?
we did contact dhs or cps , whichever it is, and they said since he hasnt hurt the kids and we didnt witness it firsthand that there was nothing they could do (basically) So, we started this whole process since there doesnt seem anything else we could (legally) do.
the Stepdad has been in jail before over the mother of his daughter so its not like this is out of character for him.
Have the kids been in therapy? If not, this might be a suggestion to the GAL. A skilled therapist can certainly assist the court in assessing the emoitional climate of the home? I don't know what state you are in but here, the GAL could ask the judge to order a Child Custody Evaluation. This entails a qualified, usually a Ph.D. level mental health professional to assess the children and each household. Such evaluations are expensive but the professional spends time in both households and believe me, they have been trained to see through the bs. Google it.
Well,please do my family a favor and pray for us if you pray or at least keep us in your thoughts during this. I'm lucky enough to have a hubby that puts me first and have stepkids that care about me just like I care about them.I'm scared. If it doesn't go our way, that bm will feel invincible and will make our lives hell...
or would that considered
or would that considered punishing the family for something that 'may' or may not happen to the kids and wouldnt count?
It is a valid motion. It is
It is a valid motion. It is not in the best interest of the children to live in a home where violence takes place.
Do you have an attorney? You can file an ex parte motion on that issue alone and it will be heard.
Absolutely! If the police
Absolutely! If the police have been called, the department of social services is often called. There is plenty of research about the effects of witnessing domestic violence! Children should not have to live in that environmnet. I agree with Soccermom about the Ex-Pate custody order!
Thanks for the replies. We
Thanks for the replies. We totally agree its unacceptable for them to live in a house where there is violence....
Im not sure if there is any police records of the violence but the children did tell the guardian assigned to our case about what theyve witnessed... I hope that is proof enough.
I was just worried that it wouldnt be enough. its hard to prove because we havent witnessed it first hand ya know? We have other things that we are concerned about but thats the biggest one.
I just worry about everything
We have been in the middle of the custody case since September of last year, and are finally winding down to the end I think. Our biggest complaint against BM is her abusive husband. He has broken her fingers, dragged her down the stairs by the hair, thrown things and broke them in front of the kids, not to mention locking BM and the kids out of the house without shoes jackets etc in winter and making them sleep in the car. Of course BM says she lied and none of that happened.
To us, its obvious its unacceptable, i just was worried the court would see it as punishing BM for something that the stepdad hasnt done but might sometime, if that makes sense? Innocent until proven guilty type of thing.
We seem to have a fair judge and the GAL seemed fairly smart, but you never know. We live 9.5 hours away from the kids and try to be as involved as possible in their lives but its difficult to be there in a day to day basis, but I still believe moving them 9.5 hours away is much better than letting them continue to live in that house.
Is the GAL appointed because
Is the GAL appointed because of the custody battle or because child protective services has been involved? I do a lot of domestic violence and trauma work as a therapist. I see the results first hand. How old are the kids?
he was appointed because of
he was appointed because of the custody battle...
we did contact dhs or cps , whichever it is, and they said since he hasnt hurt the kids and we didnt witness it firsthand that there was nothing they could do (basically) So, we started this whole process since there doesnt seem anything else we could (legally) do.
the Stepdad has been in jail before over the mother of his daughter so its not like this is out of character for him.
Edit -
Oh, and the kids are ss 5 and sd 7
Have the kids been in
Have the kids been in therapy? If not, this might be a suggestion to the GAL. A skilled therapist can certainly assist the court in assessing the emoitional climate of the home? I don't know what state you are in but here, the GAL could ask the judge to order a Child Custody Evaluation. This entails a qualified, usually a Ph.D. level mental health professional to assess the children and each household. Such evaluations are expensive but the professional spends time in both households and believe me, they have been trained to see through the bs. Google it.
Oh, and the judge orders both
Oh, and the judge orders both parents to split the cost.
they havent been...we are
they havent been...we are pretty much just waiting for his final decision now, the mother has delayed the whole process for a long time...
that is a good idea tho!
Echo, what state are you in?
Echo, what state are you in?
Well,please do my family a
Well,please do my family a favor and pray for us if you pray or at least keep us in your thoughts during this. I'm lucky enough to have a hubby that puts me first and have stepkids that care about me just like I care about them.I'm scared. If it doesn't go our way, that bm will feel invincible and will make our lives hell...