NOTHING is more upsetting then getting treated this way by someone you DON'T have to do things for!! UGH sorry you have to deal w/ this. I have been in princess's life for 11+years. and she still treats me like she just met me yesterday; she lives with us FT - I am going thru hell, she lies she steals, she sleeps around, you name she does it!! I don't know what is wrong w/ these kids; they are given everything; honestly what they need is a quick slap in the mouth - I don't beat or even spank my kids but honestly!! I wouldn't have DARED to do the sh** these kids do because I knew I would get the belt. the funny part was I only got it one time.......that was enough for me.......
Don't let this kid get to you too much; easier said then done. just stop doing anything for him. dont' do a thing

This is where I would draw the line. You and DH need to sit him down and ask why he is telling people that you hit him. There is no excuse, but it starts the conversation.

Then you tell DH and SS that the joy ride is over. Since he lies on you, you will NEVER be able to be alone with him again. If you actually take care of the kid for ANY periods of time, you need to stop. Tell DH, that if he walks out of a room you are all in, he MUST take SS with him so you are not alone with him so he can lie on you again. If DH runs to the store, he take skid. If DH works, he needs to find a babysitter.
Your DH is an idiot if he does not think this is a big deal. Good luck!

I'm sorry. This is why so many of us have detached from these kids. I actually adored my SS's at one point until I discovered that they had been telling all sorts of lies about me. If it helps, I know that it was that instinctual need to please and protect BM that caused my SS's to make me out to be a monster. I know it still hurts but that's what caused me to decide it would be best for everyone if I just took a huge step back from the loving "mothering" relationship we had at one point.

SD15 told the same lies and now I have nothing to do with her...These kids think they can say anything to anyone and it doesn't matter...It is for attention.

I agree that it needs to be addressed with the child. AT 10 he is old enough to know that this is a serious matter. I would stop being alone with him. I had to do that with my ss as well. He would make up dumb stuff about me too-tell his bm, extended family, teachers at school. I am also in a position that I could lose my job if I ever got charged with any sort of child abuse/neglect. So I just stopped being around him unless my dh was present. For me, my words constantly got twisted around to the point where I pretty much stopped talking to him. I thought to myself, if I dont spend time around him, dont speak to him, then surely I can protect myself.

I will say that it did stop to a certain degree (as far as I know-who knows what crap h is making up now about the past) but I do know that I have spent extremely minimal time alone with this child in the past 4 years, I dont yell at him, touch him, or take things away from him. the only discipline I've delivered in the last 4 years is to send him to his room until his dad can deal with him and that has been maybe 3 or 4 times over the years. I will say that every time I try and make an effort to "work things out" it bites me in the ass. The last effort I made was probably a 4-5 sentence message sent to him on facebook. He did not respond and then months later, the first chance he had, he told all my inlaws about all the "nasty" messages I was sending him. Sigh. That was back in March. I havent tried to "reach out" to him since then and I won't.

SS5 tried this last month. We were playing tag and he kept making up random rules and got mad and started crying when I wouldn't follow his rules (he's the self appointed master of the universe and orders everyone around).

I asked him what was wrong like ten times and then gave up and walked out to the living room to watch tv. Well, he comes out and tells DH that I pulled his leg too hard.

DH saw right through it, and told him I pulled his leg too hard that SS should have talked to me about it and that it had nothing to do with DH.

Well, that ended the crying parade and SS was trying to cuddle me like five minutes later.

I have no idea where they even learn these behaviors. It's totally bizarre to me. However, I am worried that he will continue to do this in the future and that it will escalate.

If I were you, I would talk to DH about how serious it is. If DH doesn't understand and cooperate, I would honestly go see a lawyer for advice on how to handle this. It's extremely serious and could have incredible long term consequences for you.

I agree w/ Willow, I actually know of a woman in the town I live in who was falsley accused, you need to have a serious talk w/ DH if something like this could affect your career. In the cse of the woman in my area, this puke she taught in 10th grade went to the police and told them that they were having sex. After tens of thousands of dollars and a ruined reputation she was exonerated.(this made national news you might have heard about it). And the thing about false accusations, the stench is on you forever. :O