Ex FIL Passed Away
Forums:
Not sure whether I should text my exH. We aren’t close, in fact, pretty much hate each other. Don’t talk ever. Maybe an email here and there for DS15. I texted my ex MIL today. That guy was my FIL for 15 years and I just spent time with him in July as we waited at the the tag office with DD18 together. I loved him because he loved my kids. I feel terrible for DS15. He loved him and they were very close. Really, what do I do? I feel like I should go nowhere near the funeral because his family is all very loyal and I’m sure they hate me. But I also don’t want my DS to feel alone.
Why would your DS feel alone
Why would your DS feel alone if he is with his father, grandmother, cousins, aunts and uncles, etc? Remember, this is your DS's family, and they will want to support him. The best you can do is offer support to your DS in your home, and take him to the cemetary as he chooses.
Ask your DS what he wants.
Ask your DS what he wants. Send XMIL a card. No need to contact the XH.
Ask your son if he wants you
Ask your son if he wants you to be there. If he does, go with him!!! It is hard to lose someone so young and if he wants you with him you should be there at his side to support him. I don't know if being his daughter in law for 15 years made you care for him, but it would make sense to go to his funeral out of respect. I went to my ex husbands aunts funeral because I was in their family for 12 years and it didn't feel weird at all. Mostly ask your son how he feels, but don't push him a certain way. Most important is support for your child. Hope everything goes ok!
Won't DS be with his father
Won't DS be with his father and his father's family? Why would he feel alone?
I guess I just meant that if
I guess I just meant that if I don’t go, he may feel weird or like I didn’t respect his grandfather. But I don’t also want to make it weird.
Guess I just needed to hear to ask him what he thinks. Lol. Luckily he was there on his dad’s time when it happened.
You can go without talking to
You can go without talking to your ex first. Let DS sit with the family, you sit in the back and pay respects to the family if that feels appropriate - if not, sign a guest book and leave without going through a receiving line.
Send a card to former MIL as CG wrote. I Also agree with what Tog suggested. Now if former MIL and FIL hated you then a card and NO appearence at viewing would be proper. Do not go if former MIL or any family would be upset. You know how they feel about you.
I went to my ex MIL’s funeral
I went to my ex MIL’s funeral last year.... but she was like a second mom to me and my husband went too. But also me and my DH are friends with exH and his wife.... and our families still spend time together, etc.
If you and your ex do not talk I would just send flowers to ex MIL, and a card and leave it ar that. Going serves no purpose because you will just make it awkward. Plus your son will be up front sitting with his family anyways and will more be there for his dad. Card and flowers is plenty and then just tell your son if he needs to talk you are always there for him.