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ex wife keeps changing the rules wth ??

pat's picture

Sad I am the co -parent of two young children. Me and my ex have a parenting plan in place ,but, sometimes she schedules kids events on my days (I put that in the agreement that she was not to) . I don't feel like taking her to court everytime she wants to play her stupid games, so, what do I do? I only get the kids every other Sunday and once a week. Seems like fathers have no rights.

Abalyn's picture

Well, first I have a couple questions.

Do you not agree with the activities the children are in, or do you just not want to spend your parenting time at their activities?

Also, why do you only get them every other Sunday and once a week? Do you have them over night those nights?

Finally, are these activities that BM has the option of scheduling on her days? For example, she could probably schedule karate for one of her nights, but T-ball has a varying schedule and takes up more days in a week.

Oh, one more, would BM be willing to let you spend more time with the kids if you requested it?

pat's picture

The only reason I only get them every other Sunday and once a week is because of my work hours. I don't have any spare bedrooms for them to stay because I live with my girlfriend and her kids ,so overnights are out for now.She does not work well with me at all. She is a control freak and hates my new girlfriend that has done nothing at all towards her at all.

Denial's picture

Pat, I am sorry you are dealing with this. My DH has dealt with this for 9 years with his Ex.

If she is violating the CO, I would definitely take her back to court. You need to nip her in the bud before you spend 9 years dealing with it. BTW - the rule changing, has effected my SS16 severely. It is to the point where we haven't seen him in 2 1/2 months because there is always something "more fun" to do.

My DH for years didn't feel anything was worth taking the Ex back to court for. When he and I got together 3 years ago, I encouraged him to stand up for himself (OK, I nagged a little). The longer the Exs have these powers without being put in check, the more demanding things will get as they get older. Unfortunately, your children will suffer as well.

Good luck and I encourage you to stand up for yourself and your rights (nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag - hey I'm a woman, it's my perogative)

Abalyn's picture

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I will be honest with you, dad's complaining about kids' activities is a sensitive subject for me and I took my ex to court to force him to actually take our kids to their activities. For that reason, I won't comment further, other than to tell you that these things do (usually) get better with time.

I know that your divorce is still fresh and that it's hard for any woman to accept a SM, especially this quickly. Just take the high road, remain calm, and don't chum the waters. That doesn't mean give in to everything, it means set your boundaries and pick your fights wisely.

Good luck!

HennyPen's picture

Can you attend these activities/functions as well? If it is your time you have a right to attend and be present. the kids will notice you are there for them and that is what counts. If it were me, I'd be there with my smiling face for all the events, this way she can't distance them by using that as an excuse.