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Explain how to disengage?????

amybeth33's picture

Submitted by amybeth33 on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 8:25pm

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Ok..this seems to be a hot topic..Someone tell me about this. How did you do it? I really really want to, but I do feel guilty because the skids do not have a mother. I feel if I disengage I then abandon them just like she did. But every part of me is saying disengage. Help!!

ownedbypedro's picture

Submitted by ownedbypedro on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 5:35am

Sadly, in order to disengage from my adult step son, age 38, and his wife, and their 3 brats, I had to leave my husband. They did NOT live with us but they might as well have because it was constant calling and asking for money and help us and rescue us and enable us to be irrisposible.

It has been this way with skid 2 since he came into my life when he was 12 years old. If I had a dime for every time I've heard dh say "but skid wants..." I could retire at age 48.

For example, back when we were newly married and looking at houses, there was one we were considering. I said to dh that I liked it but maybe we should look at a couple more. His response was, and I QUOTE: "I really thing we should get this one, "skid" likes it." OMG, really??? Is skid going to pay the mortgage? I'm sorry, but I don't make decisions about where I'm going to live and raise my family based on what a 14 year old spoiled brat likes.