FDH TOLD me what I would and would not do with his spawn
I may have reached my breaking point. I am not sure yet. We have SD8 here for the week, week 3 of 4 this summer. I posted on here abouther acting out and chunking something at my DD8 on Monday. Things were frosty to say the least yesterday after work. I picked up both girls and SD did not speak to me, retreated to her room only emerging to eat dinner and Disney Dad got home from work.
She hung on him like he was a lifeline. I told him she should have peed on him if she was dying to mark her territory so bad. She was grounded from swimming and TV after what had happened the day before. Its not much of a punshment though when dad sits and plays board games to replace the TV watching time she normally would have had. What's the fucking point of a punishment? We did not talk much, I went to bed soon after the girls did and he stayed up to watch the Olympics.
This morning I asked him if he could take over getting her to and from her camp for the rest of the week. He went crazy wanting to know why. He was shocked at the notion that his precious little darling did not speak one word to me yesterday. He had to tell her three times to tell me good night and then she just muttered it. I am done with that bullshit.
No more - I will take care of my kids and he can take care of his spawn. I will cook enough food for everyone but I wont do anymore than that. He says that my attitiude is unrealistic and ....wait for it....Not fair to him! Priceless.
He is putting her in play therapy and TOLD me I had to go to sessions to work on my relationship with his daughter. Hahahahah - no fucking way. I will not go, the notion is hysterical to me. I have three kids who are occassionally pains in the ass but typically respectful, well mannered kids. Umm, I dont need help raising children. You and your ex created this mess, not me. You two assholes can clean it up.
Tonight should be fun.
That would be awesome. It
That would be awesome. It would be super effective too - I have fake eyelashes!!
He is crazy smart and great professionally but a moron at raising kids and I am beginning to understand why his last marriage did not work out. Why do we, as women, always readily accept that is was the ex-wife's fault that the previous marriage failed? That we will be more successful at this shit than our predecessor?
Sometimes the ex's are bat shit crazy but other times, we just believe the man's crapola because we think we are more special, diffferent, fabulous, etc.
Guess what - we aren't sometimes. They are just assholes whose line of shit we chose to believe.
I am having a really shitty day
I also don't believe it was
I also don't believe it was his exwife's fault for the divorce, their whole relationship was miserable. She was a cold bitch and he acted like he was 21 for years. I wouldn't have stayed with him back then but she's a greedy selfish bitch and the money was good. (I'm being honest)
I'm happy how he is now, he's older than I am and it works out. But I never thought I would be 28 dealing with his bitch teenager :/
I could have written this. I
I could have written this. I am living the same nightmare. I quit. He can do it ALL.
Sunday, she insisted my DD13
Sunday, she insisted my DD13 get off the couch so she could sit next to "her Daddy". Its a good thing I wasnt sitting there - I would have told to kiss my ass. My DD just got up and left the room, my kids are over her too.
We have to lock our bedroom door to keep her from coing in our room at night. You can take a wild guess at what has NOT occurred in the bedroom since she has been here. He can service himself before I do it when he allows her to be so rude to me.
He did say he would talk to precious child tonight - I said great. Figure out dinner on your own. Me and mine are going out for dinner. On your AMEX asshole. Last argument we had cost him $700 at Nordstroms. Where should I go tonight? Neiman's is close by
Anybody need anything? I will mail it to you.
Good for you! It's one thing
Good for you! It's one thing if WE are being crazy, but sorry, if you allow your kids to walk all over YOU, that is YOUR F#$%$#5ing problem NOT ours. Heck, my DH lets my son walk all over him and I tell my DH off...but of course, my son gets upset with me because I will NOT allow it. Too freaking bad DH. Don't YOU tell me how to raise a child when you and your loser ex-wife did such a lousy job raising that loser you call daughter...that is YOUR problem. Don't mess with me and MY parenting with OUR son. Don't like it? Get the #$%$%ck out! I don't need you messing up my kid now.
Thankfully my fiancee KNOWS
Thankfully my fiancee KNOWS that my forming a more lovey dovey relationship with his son will never ever happen. He accepts that. He's pretty affectionate with my kids, but he's a more affectionate person than I am. I think alot of the reason I get away with it is because he knows ME, hell, most nights in bed he tries to cuddle with me and i'm like 'get your skin off my skin and get on your side of the bed'........I CHOOSE to be affectionate when I want to, with him....i'm always affectionate to my bio kids, and my kitty cats. they are really the only ones who get my affection/attention unconditionally. Your husband TELLING YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO go to his fuckin kid's therapy is complete and utter bullshit! Maybe you chould remind him that, last time you checked, that god awful fuckin kid did NOT come from your vagina! Therefore, your responsibility for her is ZERO!!!
Good luck
herewegoagain - you are
herewegoagain - you are completely right. Dont fuck my kids up. I can do that all by myself, there dad is a piece of work too. Let us have the fun in screwing them up.
We have a family vacation scheduled for two weeks from now and I do not want to go. My kids are excited about it and I just want to stay home and sleep. FML
We had the same fight years
We had the same fight years ago. I stopped doing everything except dinner and laundry. That was it. Made him cook two nights a week. Didn't talk to SD or drive her anywhere. He got it really quick when she started turning on him....Now she is with BM and my life is good.....
Only do what you want, but stop dealing with her and leave it to him. His kid, not yours. But, then you can not ask him to do anything for yours....Worked for us and our relationship got better.
Instead of counseling over
Instead of counseling over your relationship with his kid tell him you want marriage counseling with both of you attending. If he refuses then go alone. You'll be amazed at the insight a good counselor has and this marriage just might be workable.
Eventually he'll want to come with you if you stick with just to see if you're getting advise on how to best divorce him without losing too many assets.
If the counseling isn't working after 2 or 3 session find another counseler as you should have all the tools you need after about 2 months of weekly sessions.
what a jackass. i would have
what a jackass. i would have laughed right in his face. i've had sd19 tell me many times how it's wrong to fdh for me to not like her. :? ok, you little bitch, than how is it fair to him or my son (her half brother) for you to constantly be starting shit with me? oh that's right. it's ok because it's you and nothing is ever your fault. nothing you do is ever wrong. it's just wrong and horrible of me to not put up with your shit and feel blessed that you're so willing to wipe your ass with any effort i make to have a civil relationship with you.
Omg!!! These kids who hang on
Omg!!! These kids who hang on their Daddy's drive me insane!! My SS11 does it & honestly it makes me laugh now out of disgust--but-- last night DH was even sleeved out when SS11 jumped up in daaaaaadddyyyss lap & started stroking DH in the way only I do!!!! Ewwwww. DH quickly said "knock it off & get off of me"!! Ss11 has realized the game is up-- dear ole daddy has finally figured it all out!!!!! He's still trying-- it's gonna take time to get it all to quit now- I mean it's only been two years of this crap (being sarcastic abt it).
I finally read out loud to DH several of people on here's account with being creeped out by their skids doing this. This week was a major thing in our home tho as well- since I had finally reached my boiling point-- and got SS11 to admit to it all & him giving me hate looks while he's doing it to DH!!!! DH did not believe me these past two years. Shame on you DH!! I had recorded it on my cell phone & played it for all to see. Him jumping all over DH, pushing me out of the way physically then when I got up & went to the other couch, the little shit was doing the haha head shake at me, followed by inappropriate petting of daddy followed by him give me I hate you stares. All. On. Video!!!!
I HIGHLY suggest others do the same-- tape don't lie!!! Haha!! Eat that SS11!!
That is AWESOME!!! I wish I
That is AWESOME!!! I wish I had my nasty skid of tape from back when he was 14 and would be all "snuggly" wif him's daaaaddddddyyyyyy....PUKE!!! :sick:
Wow, its so funny how similar
Wow, its so funny how similar allthese stupid kids act. Last night, SD8 was hanging on FDH and watching me watch her do it. Then she got this sly little grin on her face. I looked straight at her and rolled my eyes and walked off. Later I came back in the room and called FDH over and smirked back at her.
Ok, so now I am acting like a complete buffoon becasue of an 8 year old. No more. this shit is stopping next time she is over. Normal, appropriate affection is fine but this borderline obsessive stuff is ending even if I have to make a huge scene and call her our in front of god and everybody.
I just wrote something sort
I just wrote something sort of along these lines. When DH asks his kids to do something, and they don't comply, he'll remind them and tell them and threaten them over and over until they do it. I say it once, and then when things don't get done, I tell them there's a punishment. A punishment HE doesn't hold to, and yet I'm the one getting bitched at tonight for not stepping up and 'being the parent'. I told him they were too old for me to be holding their hand and walking them through every damn thing they're supposed to be doing, which by the way, is very little.
When I was growing up, my parent's philosophy is "I will only ask once. If I have to ask again, there's punishment." And there was, every time. Guess what? I'm a well-adjusted adult who CLEANS UP AFTER HERSELF AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BE TOLD EIGHT THOUSAND TIMES TO DO SOMETHING.