Fix it or I will.
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With delivery of abject misery for a kida mate, or mat's X who fail to deliver effectively.
Why is this not a far more prominant message delivered by SParents to mates who are failure's and their failed family spawn, and the mate's X(s)?
Fix it or I will! (typo correction)
With delivery of abject misery for a kid, mate, or mate's X(s) who fail to deliver effectively.
Why is this not a far more prominant message delivered by SParents to mates who are failures, their failed family spawn, and the mate's X(s) who fail us?
It's actually good advice in
It's actually good advice in many situations. I used it many years ago for a situation with a somewhat invasive MIL. I told DH to explain to his mother that my home was my castle or I'd do it my way ... There then ensued 6 months of frosty radio silence. After that, we realised that we had many interests in common and got on like a house on fire!
She's been gone for many years and I still miss her. She was a true friend.
Fix it or I will - and you
Fix it or I will - and you won't like how I do it.
There are times in steplife where this is a reasonable boundary, just as there are times when a SP needs to step in because their partner is paralyzed with fear or guilt.
We DO NOT have to suffer for others' failures.
Drama begats drama. It's not
Drama begats drama. It's not our job to "fix it." Sometime that kind of ultimatum works to motivate a partner to action and other times not so much.
The only thing anyone can really control is oneself.
For a lot of us it's a question of "Does the good outweigh the bad?" If the answer is "no" then it's time to move on. If the answer is "yes" then it may be worth putting up with some BS because the BS is only a small percentage of the entire picture.
And that's why I set boundaries
There were a number of times I told DH 'fix it or I will'. DH didn't, so I did. By setting boundaries with both SS. The youngest respected what I said, the OSS didn't. I had to be a bit more forceful with the OSS regarding some boundaries. That resulted in the OSS not coming around and I'm fine with that.