Graduation Limited to 2 People. I lose
SD is graduating from high school next month. Her mother and I have been together for ten years. More than half her life, so I'm not necessarily new Stepdad on the scene. School is limiting students to 2 tickets. That leaves me sitting at home, as BF and mom will attend. Extremely frustrated and demoralized that the school did not have enough forethought to realize that a country with a 50% divorce rate has kids with many, many step parents involved in their lives.
The session can only yield 2 tickets? Do 2 sessions.
I want through hell to procure a vaccination for myself so I could attend. Guess not.
I understand you can't please everyone. I understand the pandemic. But it feels like the district did the absolute minimum to throw together a ceremony without any thought towards people like me that have worked just as hard as any biological parent.
This isn't the first slap in the face I've received from the school system. When SD was graduating from grade school, the kids were given two free tickets for a graduation lunch. One for each parent. Bio father could not attend, yet I was charged for a ticket because..... And I quote....."You're not a parent".
This current situation sure opened some old scars.
That really sucks. I'm sorry.
That really sucks. I'm sorry.
The lack of ticket problem
The lack of ticket problem dates back decades here. In the mid sixties when I graduated, there were 488 in my graduating class. The graduation was held in the auditorium which could not even hold two parents for each student. So what did they do? They put the tickets into envelopes. Most envelopes held two tickets, but about 10% only had one ticket. So while practicing for graduation, as we walked across the stage, each student drew an envelope from a box. I was lucky and pulled a two ticket envelope, but some kids had families who had to decide which parent would attend.
Don't get me started.
Don't get me started.
Be grateful, graduation
Be grateful, graduation ceremonies are deathly boring. You can be part of the dinner/party afterward.
Honestly, I know you are disappointed, but it's not a conspiracy against stepparents, it's a pandemic. Doing two ceremonies would mean the kids would be split up and not with friends, which doesn't seem right to me, even less so than some stepparents feeling left out.
Just my opinion. Maybe you could look into the school streaming the graduation?
My nephew graduated last May.
My nephew graduated last May. They did a zoom graduation. Each kid got their diploma from their parents at home. There were choral and band performances, the usual speeches, a benediction, etc.
Call the school to see if will be webcaste.
Schools always seem to do a
Schools always seem to do a terrible job when you have a blended family.
Even my SS... He got 8 tickets. We still had about 15 "close" family members that wanted to be there that couldn't. I don't think it matters how many tickets you get, as the stepparent you are often the one sitting on the outside looking in.
Same here...if GWR (SS) graduates they only issued 4 tickets
now..one would think it would be Beaver, SD, DH and Me...but yea no. It will be Beaver, SD, Beaver SR and Mr. Beaver SR. They are live webcasting so DH and I will watch there. DH and GWR are estranged (to say the least) so we were not surprised in the least. Of course that is assuming that GWR graduates...that is iffy at the moment.
It sucks though....my own DD didn't walk at graduation because they only allowed one car to go through the line (COVID)...and she didn't want to exclude anyone and knew everyone riding in the same car was a no go. She at least acknowledged that DH has been in her life longer than not...and didn't want anyone left out. I thought she should have had her brother drive her and the rest of watch on the webcast..but nope she just didn't go.
I'm sorry I know you are
I'm sorry I know you are hurting and I'm sure SD is just as disappointed. Hopefully they will be live streaming it so that at least you and the rest of SD's family can watch.
Someone mentioned this above---yeah, this limited ticket issue has been going on for decades.
Sorry this is happening
I know that I would feel the same if Munchkin were graduating and only Toxic Troll and DH were allowed. Thankfully she is about 3 years out from there. Us step-asides are good for support, paying and doing, but in the eyes of the world at large, we are really just "extras".
Eh, I get being upset, but
Eh, I get being upset, but this isn't anything new. OSS got to have one car go through his graduation, so the options for DH were to either not go or suck it up and sit in a vehicle with BM (an anti-masker) for the ceremony.
Also, graduation isn't about or for us. It's for the kids graduating. It's okay to be upset, you're allowed to be, but remember that this isn't our event.
Right - schools do this to be
Right - schools do this to be efficient, and because of space, not because stepparents aren't valued. If they let everyone have multiple cars it would be mayhem. In their minds, those of us who won't sit with the ex are being petty and childish, and need to make a choice. Maybe not fair, but as you said, it's about the kids and not about the parents and their conflicts.
I agree. I think whoever came
I agree. I think whoever came up with the idea to only allow 2 tickets wasn't being sensitive to so many families these days. It really sucks.
I'm sorry that you cannot
I'm sorry that you cannot attend the actual graduation, it sounds like it means a lot to you.
Where I live, for many years, now, they have done the graduations in a large enough venue where everybody who wants to can attend. Lucky me, as my niece graduates next month (to be held at a sports arena). I love her, practically raised her, but oh, how I miss the 2 ticket graduations! They are so very boring.
We flew my ILs in for SS's HS
We flew my ILs in for SS's HS graduation and my mom and dad drove up to attend. No one from the SpermClan bothered to attend, call or send a card. The whole SpermClan lives less than an hour from my ILs.
We did the same for his USAF BMT graduation. Another complete no show and zero contact from the SpermClan.
Silence from them until SS reported for Tech School then.... they started the guilt campaign to have him put a direct payroll withholding monthly support stipend in place to support his three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas.
He pretty much wrote them all off at that point.
SD's BF is going? I wasn't sure who the BF was??
This is very disappointing!! Tog made some really excellent suggestions. Maybe they could live stream, I know a lot of colleges have that ability not sure about High School.
If it is SD's BF I am not sure why he would come before you. BF's come and go and SD may not even remember his name when she is 40 and looking back and why she didn't choose you.
I am sorry for you!!!
stream it. definitely
Hoping they stream it. That would be rotten off they didn't.
To be clear.
I meant bio father. He and my wife are going. Sorry about that.
Got it...
It is still such a hard situation and sad to be left out. I would find that very upsetting. Hopefully they will live stream it and you can attend the dinner or do something together later.
Keep in mind your SD probably feels bad that you can't be there. So I am sure she will be open to a celebration you can be part of. It is her big day make sure you put a smile on and don't let your anger or sadness show too much!!
THose things are boring as
THose things are boring as hell, I'd also be glad to skip it. That said, streaming it would be nice....even on a non-covid basis since it gets so crowded with so many tickets. Then people can choose to log on to watch. It's still Covid time and even with just 2 tickets that's a LOT of people. In the end, it's about the kids and not the adults feelings.