Grrrrrr..............rules and chores
Why in the hell do we have a "bedtime" in our house??? I will tell you why, so my kids can adhear to it and SD13 can do what ever she wants and BF doesn't give two shits about it. He's been out of town for 4 days, FINALLY came home last night and I was so hoping for a little "adult" time with him. But instead he lets SD13 stay up till after 10:00 playing video games with her and then lets her stay up in her room past 11:00 reading. And as long as she's awake he wouldn't dare touch me.
I mean the girl is 13 and she doesn't lift a finger to do anything around the house unless you demand that she do it. The only things she's supposed to do is her laundry and that VERY rarely ever gets done and she leaves it in the washer and dryer, and I'm not doing her stuff so it sits there until I finally HAVE to do laundry. And she has to clean the cat box cause it's in her room, but she forgets and that I'm stuck cleaning 2 days out and we have 2 cats, ugh.
She was home watching my two kids the other day for like 6 hours. She didn't do a damn dish, even though the sink was overflowing, or anything else for that matter. Instead she sat on her CELL phone for 5, count them, 5 hours!!!!!!!!!!! Then told her Dad "well I get a third of the hours anyway." No you don't you get "emergency hours only!" WE PAY FOR THE CELL PHONE. She doesn't even get an allowance cause she doesn't do anything.
Ugh her sence of entitlement is unbelieveable but BF believes that since she's "SUCH A GOOD KID" ei doesn't get in trouble at school, that she should have more priveledges. I want structure. I want to know that if we are going to hold my two kids, BD6 and BS8, to certain standards then SD13 should be held to them as well. She has no restrictions and is allowed to pretty much do what she wants when she wants.
She tells my kids what to do. She will ask them, "Did you brush your teeth?" "Did you do your home work?" and GOD forbid I have a phone conversation when she's around cause she wants to know EVERYTHING that I've talked about. Why did you say this or what did you mean about that?
I mean don't get me wrong I love the girl. I do. She IS a good kid but damn that doesn't mean she gets to run the show. BF will even ask her......"Do WANT to do this with us or would you rather do that?" She doesn't get a choice, she's the kids WE are the adults.
UGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
It is reasonable that you
It is reasonable that you have some ground rules for the house. While you are not the child's mother, you are her parent. Are the expectations that you set for her clear? Are there any consequences for her not doing so? Do not seethe silently! Set some rules and consequences and stand your ground!
I wish I could get BS13 &
I wish I could get BS13 & SD16 to do chores. I don't ask them to do much, but they just don't do them. I've tried the "if you do your chores, you'll get $5 every Saturday. As long as the chores are marked off that you have completed them." That only worked for 1 or 2 weeks. I have went to the extent of having a big poster hanging on the wall with the list of "House Rules & Chores", to simply remind them. That doesn't help at all. I think it also is partly DH's fault, because of his outlook on the wife's job in the house. DH does not help me out very often, if at all. I cook, clean, do laundry, wash all dishes, take care of our dogs, manage the household finances, do simple home repairs, and I even do the yard work. My DH thinks & feels that that is what a sham is suppose to do. Because DH is the only who works, DH thinks & feels that that is all he is suppose to do. So BS13 & SD16 see this happening and they follow DH. We'll just let mom do everything because that's her job. If I ask any of them to do something to help me out, you would think I was trying to kill them. They bitch, moan, and complain the entire time. I wish I knew how to get them to help out a little more.