Help for SD
so--- my SD is going through a lot right now. She is 8, and trying to figure things out about being a girl. She lives with DH and I, visits BM eowe. Right now she is all about her mom, which we totally encourage. She goes through phases of mimmicing her or I. The issue is that BM is not quite the type of women my DH and I want SD to be. She isn't confident, she has no ambition, (on top of all the other reasons we dont like her). Lately Bm has been trying to lose weight. She gained a bit during her last pregnancy (shes had a few }:) ) Anyway, SD came back from BMs house and asked me if she could diet. Then on her "to do list" she had exerceise about 10 times on there. SD is talking about not being pretty enough. Is starting to act stupid in school (she is top in her class and is guessing answers wrong to get attention says the teacher). she keeps talking about shaving her legs, that BM lets her wear real make up... all these things.
I just dont know what to do. I feel like she is TOO young for all of this!? She is too young to start having body image issues. And I know that it is all comign from BM. I just wish she could see how every little thing she does SD sees. Looking in the mirror and saying "Im so fat" does no good for your daughter! UGH! Any advice on what you would do? I have already talked with SD about loving herself and her body.. I'm trying to be super positive and vocal about mine (I just usually never talk about what i look like or anything with her.. I'm a decently confident person). But beyond that Im at a loss. Should DH contact BM about this?
Honestly that is a very
Honestly that is a very impressionable age. I would say being confident and positive about yours, SDs is all you can really do. Maybe talk to her about when she comes over (can't remember your schedule) y'all can pain nails/toes to add flair and confidence to make her feel good, and so she know truly knows you are on her side and want her to love her body.
I would also talk to DH about talking to the teacher about having a meeting with SD about why she is guessing wrong answer when y'all know her full potential. It sounds like she is having a really hard time and may be adapting the though process of any attention is good attention if BM is being so self-centered and negative. Also talk to her about how make-up isn't really good I don't know the right way to approach with a 8yr old but tell her she is pretty without and that most women don't truly need it.
As for DH contacting BM I would ask him to bring up that he is concerned, in a non-attacking manner but maybe bring up the school thing, and then also that he thinks SD may be to young for make-up and that y'all need to let her have her innocence so that when she grows up she can be confident and develop on her own without to much pressure.
I only have a SS but I remember as a young girl acting out, and having the influence of one of my cousins somewhat take away my innocence in me wanting to wear make up, and hearing about how having curves and everything was "hot" when I was way to young - my mom called everyone out and now I am confident, and honestly don't wear make-up unless going around BM or out.