Help!!! We Got Served....Again!!!!
OMG!!! I think I'm going to die. BM had DH served last night claiming that SD is being abused!!! This is the second time that she has done this. Apparently her version of abuse is SD sleeping on the couch in our living room while she visits...and the fact that her father had to work during the weekdays this past summer while she was visiting. She claims that her daughter is not allowed in any of the bedrooms of our home..not true..she is not allowed in our bedroom because she snoops and lies..hence what she's obviously done again. She claims that SD doesn't like me and it's horrible that she is left in my care while DH is at work. She goes on and on about completely ridiculous things!!! I told my husband to tell BM to keep her but he's afraid of child support being increased. We can barely afford the $700.00 per month plus the extra $600 and something that he already pays for insurance. What should we do? We can't afford to pay the attorney the $3000.00 retainer fee that he's asking for and my husband must miss work next Thursday and drive 3 hours to attend her "expedited" hearing! Any advice! I can't stop crying. I didn't want SD to spend X-Mas with us because she would ruin it but she found another way to ruin it.
Well...
I have some good news and bad news....the bad news is that in order to protect the relationship between dh and sd is to pay for an attorney, bottom line, you have to find the $3k retainer and pay for professional legal advice. Without it, he is really screwed both emotionally and financially. If you can't afford one, try legal aid. If he doesn't qualify for legal aid, then he needs to take on a second job to pay for an attorney, otherwise, he won't have his visitations, and she probably will get more in cs. You need legal representation.
The good news is, she won't be able to claim abuse b/c sd sleeps on a couch and doesn't like you. Judges do this everyday and they know that people lie, and use kids to punish others. As long as you have an attorney to represent you, the abuse charges will never stand. She is suppose to have a bedroom when she visits, but it doesn't have to be her own bedroom. Kids can be piled high in a bedroom, but I can't even believe a judge will render abuse charges b/c she sleeps on a couch. A lot of kids want to sleep on the couch.
I honestly can't believe that she got an attorney to serve you with these ridiculous charges, it's unethical to charge and perform a service for someone that you know won't give them the result they are looking for. When you do have an attorney, seek for damages and see if a judge will force bm to pay a portion of your attorneys' fees for false accusations. The latter probably won't happen, but if you have an attorney push back, it will scare bm, and maybe just maybe she will back of with ridiculous charges.
Your dh needs to ask his family if he can borrow the money, and if he can't get the money, ask her attorney in writing for a continuance. If the attorney refuses, he needs to go to court, and he can ask the judge himself for a continuance because he can't afford legal representation at the time, and hopefully the judge will grant a continuance. He can represent himself, it's just not a good idea.
Good luck and I wish you the best,
Candice
Good one Cruella....
"she is teaching SD to be a victim"
HOW TRUE!!! Our BM is a professional victim and is also teaching my SD to be a victim (something I have spent the past 2 years trying to curb).
I'm sorry for your situation Bubbles, we've been there and have gone more and more in debt each time BM decides to call in a bogus claim against me.
Its too bad for the kids and like Candice said, you have to have good legal representation in order to retain your rights; otherwise BM will walk all over you in court.
Its a really crappy spot to be in, I know because I'm there right along with you.
The good thing is that if CPS and law enforcement start realizing the BM is full of sh*t they won't take her calls seriously anymore.
Our BM calling CPS and the police on me so many times is really comming around to help out our case.... The court is starting to wonder why and are beginning to see that her presistant false claims fit her to a T (as we describe her to the court).
It sucks to be placed under a microscope however rest assured that if you aren't doing anything wrong, everything will work out in the end.... this could even end up HELPING you!
Thank you!
Thank you guys! This sounds horrible but I feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone. I guess it's true..misery likes company.
O.k. so I'm proud of DH right now. He's actually standing up for himself and us. After reading the court doc's a little more closely we are speculating that SD wrote them with a little help from BM. My husband has decided that since this is the second time that SD and BM have made false accusations and filed court doc's in the past year...he's done. SD is not welcome here unless she seeks professional help.
Ha ha...I found an e-mail from SD stating that she hopes she never sees "that judge's stupid face again" and my husband attached it to his response. He also attached the e-mail where she states that she does not like me because I bought her clothes from Marshall's. Ha ha.
Some attorneys take
Some attorneys take payments. Does your DH have anything documented? because if he does he can represent himself. Your DH is in a tough spot dummed if he does and dummed if he doesn't. I'm guessing if he doesn't have an attorney his cs will be increased, but won't get to see his daughter which is what he wants.
****I told my husband to tell BM to keep her but he's afraid of child support being increased. We can barely afford the $700.00 per month plus the extra $600 and something that he already pays for insurance.